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Student and Teacher, should I go for him? Watch

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    I'm a girl, I'm 18 and I'm in year 13 at my sixth form. There's a new teacher, he's 22 and he only just graduated recently. He looks around 19/20 though, a lot of people in my year thought he was a new student when he joined! Anyway, my school does 1-to-1 revision sessions for students that are behind on work. I'm a bit behind with maths so my school decided I should take these revision sessions.

    It turned out he was assigned as my mentor. So like the first few sessions were just completely normal and we discussed about the topics I was weak at and so on. After that, we just had this one conversation (I started it out of curiosity) about which university he went to and the experience etc. That got us talking and he told me what to expect from uni and so on etc etc. Anyway that conversation made us friends and we started talking. I can talk to him like a friend since he looks my age and is part of my generation. We talk in slang with each other! He's fairly good looking too.

    Eventually, it got to the point where half of the sessions were us having a chat and the other half was us actually going through work. I made an excuse that I may need maths help when I'm stuck with homework, and so I got his number. I called him to ask him for help (didn't really need help), and then after that we just had an hour long chat. She knows I like him, and I know he finds me attractive. However I get the feeling from him that he doesn't really want a relationship as this could heavily ruin his career. We spend like half the time flirting in our sessions. Last week I dressed really seductively to sixth form (wore a fairly tight skirt and a cold shoulder top), did my hair and what not, and it happened. We ended up cuddling and making out for like the last 20 minutes of the session. He undone my top two buttons, was grabbing my breasts, and even fingered me. I met him outside of work yesterday, and he told me he likes me too but he's **** scared that he could lose his job and teaching license. I completely understand his point of view of course.

    I feel really guilty. I know he didn't want all this to happen. He strictly kept it to work and even when I used to try to talk to him flirtatiously, he used to just divert the conversation back to work. I'm scared this will ruin his career. Should I still pursue him? Or should I back away? I mean, I'd have left sixth form next year anyway. I do want him. I mean I am 18, I'm an adult! He's only 22. He looks, talks and dresses like guys my age. It doesn't feel wrong at all, it just feels normal as if I'm seeing someone my age. He's got his own place and I've been a few times. Should I continue with all this?
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    Fresh out of training and already ruined his career. Smooth moves.
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    For the love of God, please don't do anything 'serious' with him until you have left 6th form.

    You are both jeopardising your futures (him moreso than you) and he has a right to be worried.
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    Dear Lord..

    Could you not just wait until you're at uni?
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    It's clear you're just a horny guy fantasizing over this happening
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    (Original post by Mega0448)
    Fresh out of training and already ruined his career. Smooth moves.
    It's more my fault to be honest. I initiated the talking and everything after that.

    (Original post by Inexorably)
    For the love of God, please don't do anything 'serious' with him until you have left 6th form.

    You are both jeopardising your futures (him moreso than you) and he has a right to be worried.
    But we really like each other! We're not in a relationship, not officially anyway. We haven't had sex yet, but I know he's going to want that soon anyway. I guess I can say we're just seeing each other. By the time I leave sixth form he might change his mind about me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's more my fault to be honest. I initiated the talking and everything after that.



    But we really like each other! We're not in a relationship, not officially anyway. We haven't had sex yet, but I know he's going to want that soon anyway. I guess I can say we're just seeing each other. By the time I leave sixth form he might change his mind about me.
    I know you really like each other but his entire career is at stake here, some things are best left aside.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a girl, I'm 18 and I'm in year 13 at my sixth form. There's a new teacher, he's 22 and he only just graduated recently. He looks around 19/20 though, a lot of people in my year thought he was a new student when he joined! Anyway, my school does 1-to-1 revision sessions for students that are behind on work. I'm a bit behind with maths so my school decided I should take these revision sessions.

    It turned out he was assigned as my mentor. So like the first few sessions were just completely normal and we discussed about the topics I was weak at and so on. After that, we just had this one conversation (I started it out of curiosity) about which university he went to and the experience etc. That got us talking and he told me what to expect from uni and so on etc etc. Anyway that conversation made us friends and we started talking. I can talk to him like a friend since he looks my age and is part of my generation. We talk in slang with each other! He's fairly good looking too.

    Eventually, it got to the point where half of the sessions were us having a chat and the other half was us actually going through work. I made an excuse that I may need maths help when I'm stuck with homework, and so I got his number. I called him to ask him for help (didn't really need help), and then after that we just had an hour long chat. She knows I like him, and I know he finds me attractive. However I get the feeling from him that he doesn't really want a relationship as this could heavily ruin his career. We spend like half the time flirting in our sessions. Last week I dressed really seductively to sixth form (wore a fairly tight skirt and a cold shoulder top), did my hair and what not, and it happened. We ended up cuddling and making out for like the last 20 minutes of the session. He undone my top two buttons, was grabbing my breasts, and even fingered me. I met him outside of work yesterday, and he told me he likes me too but he's **** scared that he could lose his job and teaching license. I completely understand his point of view of course.

    I feel really guilty. I know he didn't want all this to happen. He strictly kept it to work and even when I used to try to talk to him flirtatiously, he used to just divert the conversation back to work. I'm scared this will ruin his career. Should I still pursue him? Or should I back away? I mean, I'd have left sixth form next year anyway. I do want him. I mean I am 18, I'm an adult! He's only 22. He looks, talks and dresses like guys my age. It doesn't feel wrong at all, it just feels normal as if I'm seeing someone my age. He's got his own place and I've been a few times. Should I continue with all this?
    look here, you're saying he put is fingers up there and you've had some stuff going on between you, of course he's gonna be scared that he could lose his job, haven't you read any articles in the news about student, teacher relations? It's not good for him or you.

    Even you yourself have stated that this could ruin his career, so please move away, it may be difficult but view him as a mentor and not as teacher with benefits
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    Just wait until you have finished school, if you both want a relationship... That's not that long. This could ruin his career, and potentially your future too.
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    (Original post by anonymous)
    i'm a girl, i'm 18 and i'm in year 13 at my sixth form. There's a new teacher, he's 22 and he only just graduated recently. He looks around 19/20 though, a lot of people in my year thought he was a new student when he joined! Anyway, my school does 1-to-1 revision sessions for students that are behind on work. i'm a bit behind with maths so my school decided i should take these revision sessions.

    it turned out he was assigned as my mentor. so like the first few sessions were just completely normal and we discussed about the topics i was weak at and so on. After that, we just had this one conversation (i started it out of curiosity) about which university he went to and the experience etc. That got us talking and he told me what to expect from uni and so on etc etc. Anyway that conversation made us friends and we started talking. I can talk to him like a friend since he looks my age and is part of my generation. We talk in slang with each other! He's fairly good looking too.

    Eventually, it got to the point where half of the sessions were us having a chat and the other half was us actually going through work. I made an excuse that i may need maths help when i'm stuck with homework, and so i got his number. I called him to ask him for help (didn't really need help), and then after that we just had an hour long chat. She knows i like him, and i know he finds me attractive. However i get the feeling from him that he doesn't really want a relationship as this could heavily ruin his career. We spend like half the time flirting in our sessions. last week i dressed really seductively to sixth form (wore a fairly tight skirt and a cold shoulder top), did my hair and what not, and it happened. We ended up cuddling and making out for like the last 20 minutes of the session. he undone my top two buttons, was grabbing my breasts, and even fingered me. I met him outside of work yesterday, and he told me he likes me too but he's **** scared that he could lose his job and teaching license. I completely understand his point of view of course.

    i feel really guilty. I know he didn't want all this to happen. He strictly kept it to work and even when i used to try to talk to him flirtatiously, he used to just divert the conversation back to work. I'm scared this will ruin his career. Should i still pursue him? Or should i back away? I mean, i'd have left sixth form next year anyway. I do want him. I mean i am 18, i'm an adult! He's only 22. He looks, talks and dresses like guys my age. It doesn't feel wrong at all, it just feels normal as if i'm seeing someone my age. He's got his own place and i've been a few times. Should i continue with all this?
    Lmao that escalated quickly!
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    (Original post by Inexorably)
    I know you really like each other but his entire career is at stake here, some things are best left aside.
    (Original post by thefatone)
    look here, you're saying he put is fingers up there and you've had some stuff going on between you, of course he's gonna be scared that he could lose his job, haven't you read any articles in the news about student, teacher relations? It's not good for him or you.

    Even you yourself have stated that this could ruin his career, so please move away, it may be difficult but view him as a mentor and not as teacher with benefits
    (Original post by drowzee)
    Just wait until you have finished school, if you both want a relationship... That's not that long. This could ruin his career, and potentially your future too.
    I told him that no one has to find out about us, I suggested to him that we can just pretend to not know each other whenever we walk past each other at school. However, he still says he's incredibly nervous and scared. I understand why but no one will find out if we remain discrete. I haven't told any of my friends, and he obviously won't tell any of his colleagues.
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    And to be honest to me it just feels like I'm dating someone who's 18. Even though he's 22, he's looks like other male sixth formers at my age.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told him that no one has to find out about us, I suggested to him that we can just pretend to not know each other whenever we walk past each other at school. However, he still says he's incredibly nervous and scared. I understand why but no one will find out if we remain discrete. I haven't told any of my friends, and he obviously won't tell any of his colleagues.
    Stop being so selfish. It is obvious he is not ready to be in a relationship with you, hence the anxiety. By the end of June, you will be done with school. I'm sure you can wait 3 months. If you both really like each other, and it's not just lust, why don't you suggest to wait until you're done with school?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told him that no one has to find out about us, I suggested to him that we can just pretend to not know each other whenever we walk past each other at school. However, he still says he's incredibly nervous and scared. I understand why but no one will find out if we remain discrete. I haven't told any of my friends, and he obviously won't tell any of his colleagues.
    This is the first sign things won't go well. Please don't
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    Not illegal...
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    (Original post by drowzee)
    Stop being so selfish. It is obvious he is not ready to be in a relationship with you, hence the anxiety. By the end of June, you will be done with school. I'm sure you can wait 3 months. If you both really like each other, and it's not just lust, why don't you suggest to wait until you're done with school?
    Because I don't see anything objectively wrong with the whole situation. We're just two normal people who fell for each other. It's not like he's a 30 year old creep, and I'm a 16 year old naive girl.

    My only problem is with the legal side

    (Original post by Andy98)
    Not illegal...
    Aren't there laws to do with being in a position of trust?
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    Definitely wait until you finish sixth form...
    Just hope that no one finds out that you guys did sexual things.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because I don't see anything objectively wrong with the whole situation. We're just two normal people who fell for each other. It's not like he's a 30 year old creep, and I'm a 16 year old naive girl.

    My only problem is with the legal side



    Aren't there laws to do with being in a position of trust?
    The position of trust law is with regards to sex; someone in a position of trust cannot have sex with a person under 18 years old, I don't believe it infringes upon dating.

    Either way, I've already said this, but you two need to wait. There is far too much at risk.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because I don't see anything objectively wrong with the whole situation. We're just two normal people who fell for each other. It's not like he's a 30 year old creep, and I'm a 16 year old naive girl.

    My only problem is with the legal side



    Aren't there laws to do with being in a position of trust?
    yeah...18 or above
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    Whether it's legal or not if the school find out he'll be marked for life and it'll screw his career up, just wait till the summer and then nobody cares.
 
 
 
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