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Is it wrong to be attracted to 14/15 year old girls when I'm nearly 18? Watch

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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    When I'm properly crushing on a girl sex is really an afterthought, I want the other stuff that comes with a relationship first and foremost, really.


    If you get angry and then have a sudden urge to punch somebody in the face and then don't do it, is that as bad as actually punching them in the face then?

    Is thinking about cheating on an exam as bad as going ahead and cheating on an exam?

    I'm very confused as to how one can think this way.
    Those analogies are completely irrelevant. Sort of. If you just think about punching someone (some people really don't even fathom violence) but if you do, it's still violent. Surely you will act on these thoughts; they're not just little images in your head for your entertainment? They control your behaviours...
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    When I'm properly crushing on a girl sex is really an afterthought, I want the other stuff that comes with a relationship first and foremost, really.


    If you get angry and then have a sudden urge to punch somebody in the face and then don't do it, is that as bad as actually punching them in the face then?

    Is thinking about cheating on an exam as bad as going ahead and cheating on an exam?

    I'm very confused as to how one can think this way.
    Wanting a relationship with her doesn't save you from these attacks. In my opinion it's even weirder, why would you want to be with someone way less mentally mature than you? At least if you stick with the attraction thing you could put it down to biological urges, now you're just being creepy.
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    (Original post by somesomebody)
    pedophilia in the mind is as horrible as pedophilia in the act; you can't act without the thought first.
    is murder in the mind as horrible as murder in the act (you can't act without the thought first...)?
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    (Original post by somesomebody)
    Those analogies are completely irrelevant. Sort of. If you just think about punching someone (some people really don't even fathom violence) but if you do, it's still violent. Surely you will act on these thoughts; they're not just little images in your head for your entertainment? They control your behaviours...
    ...are we saying that every person that has dark thoughts is as bad as people actually committing morally bad behaviours?

    Dayum son none of us are free of sin we're all terrible.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Wanting a relationship with her doesn't save you from these attacks. In my opinion it's even weirder, why would you want to be with someone way less mentally mature than you? At least if you stick with the attraction thing you could put it down to biological urges, now you're just being creepy.
    Are you addressing me as though I am OP? For I am not he.
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    (Original post by Viridiana)
    Lol it's 100% normal, it's just three years. Whether it's legal to engage in sexual activities with them is a whole different thing, but a girl who's 14/15 years old is already a fully developed woman in the biological sense. When I was in middle school (13-15), no one blinked an eye at a three-year gap in a relationship (usually the girl being younger). As I say, I'm not talking about sexual contacts because if you do get into a relationship with a girl three, four years your junior, I think you should realize that it would be immoral to push her into decisions she's not mature enough to commit to. But I think it's normal to be attracted to younger girls. Unless you're attracted to girls that are not yet developed, which would have the resemblance of paedophilia, but it doesn't seem to be the case with you.
    It's not even that illegal. No 17 year old is going to prison for having sex with a 15 year old, this isn't America.
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    (Original post by Jesus Walks)
    is murder in the mind as horrible as murder in the act (you can't act without the thought first...)?
    Walk with me Jesus

    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    ...are we saying that every person that has dark thoughts is as bad as people actually committing morally bad behaviours?

    Dayum son none of us are free of sin we're all terrible.
    Lol yes. I am saying that.
    Because you created the thoughts first. It is possible to not even think a certain way. It's called discipline. Not killing someone is not having discipline; it's not being evil and deranged and well, bloody stupid, to kill someone because you can get arrested and won't get work and no one will want you to live around them lol
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    it is so wrong and completely illegal!
    being attracted to anyone is not illegal.
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    Are you addressing me as though I am OP? For I am not he.
    :toofunny:
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    (Original post by difeo)
    It's not even that illegal. No 17 year old is going to prison for having sex with a 15 year old, this isn't America.
    "that" illegal? looool "it's only a 'little' illegal."
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    It's not wrong just illegal in this country to have sex with anyone under 16
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    (Original post by somesomebody)
    Lol yes. I am saying that.
    Because you created the thoughts first. It is possible to not even think a certain way. It's called discipline. Not killing someone is not having discipline; it's not being evil and deranged and well, bloody stupid, to kill someone because you can get arrested and won't get work and no one will want you to live around them lol
    I would've thought every person on earth would've had some urge at some point to do some form of morally bad thing.

    So effectively if every person who has an invasive thought is as bad as every person that carries terrible acts then therefore every person on earth is morally bad..........

    wew sweet jesus what on earth
    • #4
    #4

    Hey mate, I'm going to post anonymously. I'm in a similar position to you-
    I'm 16, and I find myself occasionally attracted to 13 year old girls or something.

    Although social norms and everything tell you it's not right, it's always helpful to put yourself in your shoes in a later date- if you were ten years older, it would barely be a problem at all.

    I have known girls who I've spoken to, and I've been flirtatious with them or something, but then I find out they're 4 years younger than me or something, but I don't feel a whole load of guilt.

    It's a hard battle. We're not psychopathic or paedophilic or anything. Just human beings. Everyone's different.
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    I would've thought every person on earth would've had some urge at some point to do some form of morally bad thing.

    So effectively if every person who has an invasive thought is as bad as every person that carries terrible acts then therefore every person on earth is morally bad..........

    wew sweet jesus what on earth
    "An" invasive thought is not the same as: I am attracted to [this] or [that]. Unless your attraction just changes alternately every other day? Most people develop a type and stick to it, with of course an exception to every rule. So one day wanting to hit someone for pissing you off is not the same as, "I've always just really liked kids."
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey mate, I'm going to post anonymously. I'm in a similar position to you-
    I'm 16, and I find myself occasionally attracted to 13 year old girls or something..
    Mate, are you attracted to someone just because they're 13

    or you find yourself attracted to someone who happens to be 13..

    One of those is horrible...
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    Girls used to get married at 13/14 to 20-21 year old guys a century ago.

    Most countries have an age of consent around that age.

    Totally normal, but the UK and USA have harsh laws. So don't risk your future.
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    (Original post by somesomebody)
    "An" invasive thought is not the same as: I am attracted to [this] or [that]. Unless your attraction just changes alternately every other day? Most people develop a type and stick to it, with of course an exception to every rule. So one day wanting to hit someone for pissing you off is not the same as, "I've always just really liked kids."
    So it's recurrent thoughts then? More viable, but suggests that recovering alcoholics are as bad as practising alcoholics. Hmmmm...

    Developing a "type" isn't really something that's in your control, I wouldn't like saying that ending up being attracted to a certain younger age group is the same as then going out and acting on it at all. One is controllable easily, the other one is very much less so.
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    So it's recurrent thoughts then? More viable, but suggests that recovering alcoholics are as bad as practising alcoholics. Hmmmm...

    Developing a "type" isn't really something that's in your control, I wouldn't like saying that ending up being attracted to a certain younger age group is the same as then going out and acting on it at all. One is controllable easily, the other one is very much less so.
    How does it suggest that?

    And neither are easy to control. Apparently.

    However which do you specifically feel is easier..
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    I don't think its that bad being attracted to someone a few years younger than yourself. I am attracted to older boys quite a lot of time. The age gap becomes insignificant when you are in your twenties and thirties when you both are fully grown and matured. Its nothing to be embarrassed about. Though I wouldn't act upon the feelings since they are still below the legal age.
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    It would be weird not to find some 15 year olds attractive tbh
 
 
 
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