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Feel off about girlfriend getting massage from a man

My girlfriend just got back off holiday with her friends and her friend put a photo on Facebook of her getting a massage off a man who works at the hotel. The photo weirded me out a bit with her obviously enjoying it, being half naked covered in oil (obviously face down but bikini undone).

This just made me feel a bit weird and I didn't like it. I think the fact that he was obviously very good looking tall, tanned muscular etc. made it worse. Which is obviously me being a bit insecure but whatever. I can also envisage her and her friends talking about how hot he was but that one could very well be just me being a weirdo!

Anyway, I trust her and know she would never cheat but it made me feel weird and don't know whether to tell her or not in case she takes it the wrong way.

I don't know whether the fact that I sometimes massage her as a prelude to sex has made it seem a strange to see, as it made me see sensual massages as being intimate.

Basically, should I tell her that it made me feel uncomfortable (tactfully) or am I just being weird?

Reply 1

Wafaas

2

I think it's good to communicate feelings so they don't build up and explode in one go, just talk about it rationally and calmly I'm sure she won't mind, I mean if she cares about you and your feelings I'm sure she won't want to do anything to make you feel upset or hurt, same way she wouldn't want you to do anything that would make her uncomfortable. There's no need to keep it hidden it could be harmful to your mental health and well being. It's good to be clear and comfortable with each other. Communication is VERY IMPORTANT. 😁 Everyone's feelings and emotions count don't ignore them but don't be too complain-y if you get what I mean lol.

Hope that helped 💪🏻

Reply 2

claireestelle

22

Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable

Reply 3

SMEGGGY

21

Original post by Anonymous

My girlfriend just got back off holiday with her friends and her friend put a photo on Facebook of her getting a massage off a man who works at the hotel. The photo weirded me out a bit with her obviously enjoying it, being half naked covered in oil (obviously face down but bikini undone).

This just made me feel a bit weird and I didn't like it. I think the fact that he was obviously very good looking tall, tanned muscular etc. made it worse. Which is obviously me being a bit insecure but whatever. I can also envisage her and her friends talking about how hot he was but that one could very well be just me being a weirdo!

Anyway, I trust her and know she would never cheat but it made me feel weird and don't know whether to tell her or not in case she takes it the wrong way.

I don't know whether the fact that I sometimes massage her as a prelude to sex has made it seem a strange to see, as it made me see sensual massages as being intimate.

Basically, should I tell her that it made me feel uncomfortable (tactfully) or am I just being weird?

Tell her bro, communication is essential in relationships. Chat calmly, if she's defensive ask if you had a fit girl massaging you, how she'd feel.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 4

whorace

2

Original post by SMEGGGY

Tell her bro, communication is essential in relationships. Chat calmly, if she's defensive ask if you had a fit girl massaging you, how she'd feel.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Sounds like this will be a reality TV show called 'Massage Wars' where the husband and wife get as many massages from hot people as possible to make the other jealous, hah nice try I just filed for a patent.

Reply 5

Plumstone

16

It's understandable that you feel this way, and if it is going round and round in your head then you should probably talk to her about it, but I think it is important that you make it clear to her that this is about your feelings and not in any way an accusation about her behaviour.

I've had massages from professional masseurs and my boyfriend knows this - it's not in any way sexual, it's just relaxing and helps my body to balance out again, particularly after lots of exercise. My bf doesn't have a problem with it because he knows that I'm not interested in anyone else, so there's no need for jealousy of any kind.

The guy who massaged your girlfriend does it for a job and he's seen hundreds of girls with oily bodies and their bikinis undone. I would guess that he doesn't even think about whether the customers are attractive or not, he probably just gets on with his job.

As I said, I can understand that you feel a bit weird, but hopefully by talking to your girlfriend about it you can see that there really isn't anything to be worried about :smile:

P.S. It's possible that your girlfriend wanted you to feel a little bit jealous when she showed you the photo - it's nice when our boyfriends feel protective; it reassures us that they still care :smile:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for replies guys, I think I'll bring it up with her when I see her tomorrow. And yeah in a non -accusing non-whiny way haha. Definitely not worth letting it spiral into an argument unless she's a complete arse about it but don't think she will be.

Reply 7

69420now

2

My gf gets massages maybe like once a month and its usually been a woman. She asks for women. This last time there were no woman available so she had a guy. Shes had guys before and while I don't love it I'm fine with it. This last time though she said she could feel he was hard and he was either just occasionally bumping into her with it. But she said 3 times it was completely on her or rubbing into her with the motion of the massage? And that he was massaging her butt alot and towards the end was massaging her butt cheeks apart. She didn't say anything cause she felt uncomfortable and said she wasn't sure if it was intentional. I know she said they ask them to get naked or strip down to panties and lie face down and theres a big towel to cover up with before they come back into the room. But is a masseuse getting hard normal and is getting your butt messaged normal too?

Reply 8

RockyDennis

16

I'm sure it's nothing...

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 9

the bear

20

just be playful about it... suggest that you give her a massage....

Reply 10

Crumpet1

19

Highly trained and certified massage therapists get quite cross when people confuse then with a 'masseuse' at the seedy end of the scale.

Reply 11

Reasonandsense

1

Don't accept behaviour like this. Tell her how you feel. If she does it again then leave. If she doesn't agree with you, leave.
Let her have her massages by other men and you can find a woman who understands that men and women think differently. You can find someone that doesn't disrespect you. Just because it's a "professional".(rolling eyes)
I've had many massages, lots of sport ones, lots of Asian style, Swedish styles.. I've had a lot, and what I notice is that women are usually really professional, especially the older ones, and most of the men were bragging about all the women they get to touch up... do not allow this, or these feeling will stay with you forever.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 12

ageshallnot

21

Original post by Reasonandsense

Don't accept behaviour like this. Tell her how you feel. If she does it again then leave. If she doesn't agree with you, leave.
Let her have her massages by other men and you can find a woman who understands that men and women think differently. You can find someone that doesn't disrespect you. Just because it's a "professional".(rolling eyes)
I've had many massages, lots of sport ones, lots of Asian style, Swedish styles.. I've had a lot, and what I notice is that women are usually really professional, especially the older ones, and most of the men were bragging about all the women they get to touch up... do not allow this, or these feeling will stay with you forever.

Perhaps they sorted it out 6 years ago...

Feel off about girlfriend getting massage from a man

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