This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Wrong course name in sfe
- a level mathematics for aqa cambridge worked solutions?
- AS, A level Biology VS Psychology?
- advice on friend grp
- quitting a levels in the middle of them
- I hate myself + i'm not coping (rant)
- I hit my boyfriend when I was blackout drunk
- student finance
- selecting courses to uni - course not an option anymore??
- KCL Mpharm Offer Holders
- Obsessed with a guy and cant function without daydreaming about him
- i give up
- High homelessness risk, no guarantor , no co-signer.
- I am not worried about my GCSE exams!!!!
- URGENT what happens if i drop a subject in year 12
- Predictions for EDUQAS Religious Studies Paper 1 Tommorow?
- NCS (Newham Collegiate Sixthform) 2024 Applicants
- QMUL clearing
- GCSE grades and predicted grades for US unis
- Brampton Manor sixth form Further Maths
I cant take it anymore
Its a long story but i'll try and shorten it down.
Basically my mum had me at 17 and therefore i never knew my real father she however got married to a guy lets call him richard. I've never liked richard but over the years i've tried to get along with him. A few years back a woman he worked with (he's a taxi driver) came to the house and told my mum richard was having an affair with another woman. My mum went to the persons house and found that richard was indeed having an affair but he said he couldnt leave his lover because she was violent and therefore he was effectivley two timing both of them. After about a year of this he finished with this woman and made my mum the only woman and all this ****
He's always had a short temper and the police have been called to the house before and he's been taken into custody however she still loves him despite him smashing up the house and possessions.
Richard has also been a bit awful to me over the years calling me names, raising his hand to me (but never hitting), kicking in my bedroom door and throwing my mobile phone in the dog's water bowl just well because.
Latley i've seen his car at this one house parked up with nobody inside it once at 3am and most recently after he'd been with me and my mum and told us he was going to work. On this occation i took some photo's of his car outside this house, i susspect he's cheating again
especially since he's never home, he supposably works long hours but is never tired and he rarely does washing / eats here. I really dont know if i should confront him or tell my mum.
The thing that has set me off in floods of tears tonight is that its my birthday and he was in my room when i came home, he turned off my PC by the socket which i asked him not too do and then he was just winding me up by poking me in the stomach which i wasnt in the mood for. I explained i was just asking him not to turn my pc off by the plug which caused him to fly off the handle calling me names like ugly, bitch and several other things. I cant cope with this right now and dont know what to do, my mum heard it all and she knows he's in the wrong but dosent want to upset him.
So im left in a really hard place, my grandparents dont like richard either but they've no idea whats actually been going on. Just need some advice and a rant, sorry.
Basically my mum had me at 17 and therefore i never knew my real father she however got married to a guy lets call him richard. I've never liked richard but over the years i've tried to get along with him. A few years back a woman he worked with (he's a taxi driver) came to the house and told my mum richard was having an affair with another woman. My mum went to the persons house and found that richard was indeed having an affair but he said he couldnt leave his lover because she was violent and therefore he was effectivley two timing both of them. After about a year of this he finished with this woman and made my mum the only woman and all this ****
He's always had a short temper and the police have been called to the house before and he's been taken into custody however she still loves him despite him smashing up the house and possessions.
Richard has also been a bit awful to me over the years calling me names, raising his hand to me (but never hitting), kicking in my bedroom door and throwing my mobile phone in the dog's water bowl just well because.
Latley i've seen his car at this one house parked up with nobody inside it once at 3am and most recently after he'd been with me and my mum and told us he was going to work. On this occation i took some photo's of his car outside this house, i susspect he's cheating again
especially since he's never home, he supposably works long hours but is never tired and he rarely does washing / eats here. I really dont know if i should confront him or tell my mum.The thing that has set me off in floods of tears tonight is that its my birthday and he was in my room when i came home, he turned off my PC by the socket which i asked him not too do and then he was just winding me up by poking me in the stomach which i wasnt in the mood for. I explained i was just asking him not to turn my pc off by the plug which caused him to fly off the handle calling me names like ugly, bitch and several other things. I cant cope with this right now and dont know what to do, my mum heard it all and she knows he's in the wrong but dosent want to upset him.
So im left in a really hard place, my grandparents dont like richard either but they've no idea whats actually been going on. Just need some advice and a rant, sorry.
Reply 2
This is terrible. Do you know your mother's take on this? Is it really this important to her not to upset him? Talk to her. Sit her down and tell her how you feel. There doesn't seem to be much point in talking to Richard.
Until then, if all else fails---is there anywhere you can go to, for a day or two if it gets REALLY bad? Such as your grandparents' house?
Until then, if all else fails---is there anywhere you can go to, for a day or two if it gets REALLY bad? Such as your grandparents' house?
Reply 3
Get out and away buddy.
Reply 6
red_Rose
The thing is i love my mum and i wanna be there for her and i know she'd choose him over me anyday.
So why hang around. Tell your mum the problems, tell her she can do better and tell her youll be there for her if she needs you then bugger off and go to uni or w/e.
Reply 7
Sorry to say this but if you want to get away from the behaviour you need to move out. It will not get better as your mum is willing to allow it and it's been going on for years.
It might not seem it, but your mum does love you, and even if she can't find it in herself to leave, if you do, she'll know you're safe and she'll have one less thing to worry about. I strongly suggest you speak to your grandparents - if they knew what was going on exactly, don't you think they'd offer you a place to stay with them?
It might sound horrible, but you need to think about yourself right now.
It might sound horrible, but you need to think about yourself right now.
Reply 9
Have you talked to your mum about this?
It's important that she knows how serious you are about your feelings. She probably knows that you dont like "Richard", but perhaps doesn't know that you hate him and that you are really running out of patience with this.
If you're sure that he's cheating again then you need to tell your mum. Firstly, because its the right thing to do, but also because it could be another step towards making the relationship end.
As far as moving out goes, I'd say thats quite a good idea, but if it were me, I'd worry about leaving my mum alone with this guy.
Talking to your grandparents is a good idea too, they can talk to your mum in a way that you wouldn't be able to.
I Hope this works out alright for you.
It's important that she knows how serious you are about your feelings. She probably knows that you dont like "Richard", but perhaps doesn't know that you hate him and that you are really running out of patience with this.
If you're sure that he's cheating again then you need to tell your mum. Firstly, because its the right thing to do, but also because it could be another step towards making the relationship end.
As far as moving out goes, I'd say thats quite a good idea, but if it were me, I'd worry about leaving my mum alone with this guy.
Talking to your grandparents is a good idea too, they can talk to your mum in a way that you wouldn't be able to.
I Hope this works out alright for you.
Reply 10
Firstly Id tell your mom that hes cheating. Secondly Id tell that Richard that hes not family to you and that you hate his guts. Thirdly Id talk to your grandparents and tell them the situation and maybe they can convince your mom to get away from this guy.
Reply 11
dadude
Id tell that Richard that hes not family to you and that you hate his guts
I used to say things like that to my mum's boyfriend when I was in my early teens (I didn't get on with him at all back then). It really doesn't help. I'd only say something like that if he was actually trying to act like a farther to you. You have to remember, that if your mum loves him, then hurting him could hurt her too. Shouting things like "you're not my dad, **** off!" could just cause unbareable tension.
Reply 13
I'd tell your mum...its the only way that she won't get hurt, and if he turns nasty. call the police. go into witness protection programme or something that will ensure your mum and yourself's safety.
I really want to tell my mum about what i suspect but i just think she'll believe him like usual and its just going to destroy mine and my mums relationship with eachother. She's going away for a few days so i might spend some time outside this house with a camera and take several photos at different times of the day etc as proof.
By sheer coincidence i also work with someone who lives around the corner from this house and he said richards car is always there and most people including his self thought richard lived there.
I wanted to move out a few months back and my mum was really upset and didnt want me to go and i guess how obviously upset she was is partly the reason i stayed.
Im not really sure how i could afford a flat and to live as well as my car (which i know isnt neccecary but its very handy due to work reasons) when i go back to uni, i mean its ok now because im working almost full time but i wouldnt be able to do that.
By sheer coincidence i also work with someone who lives around the corner from this house and he said richards car is always there and most people including his self thought richard lived there.
I wanted to move out a few months back and my mum was really upset and didnt want me to go and i guess how obviously upset she was is partly the reason i stayed.
Im not really sure how i could afford a flat and to live as well as my car (which i know isnt neccecary but its very handy due to work reasons) when i go back to uni, i mean its ok now because im working almost full time but i wouldnt be able to do that.
That sounds really awful. Well, it doesn't only sound awful, it is awful. You are living in a constant state of agitation because of the abuse Richard is hurdling at you. Not to talk about that it might get even worse soon and become physical abuse.
Get out now. Talk to your grand-parents and move in with them asap. Now you have to be selfish and think about yourself first. You can try to help your mother after you have sorted yourself a safe place to live and gotten your grand-parents involved.
I wouldn't be too bothered about telling your mum you think he is cheating on her. Obviously there are bigger issues, like him being a right scumbag towards you, but also because your mum will probably not believe you anyway but side with Richard. She hasn't stood up for you even when he abuses you, probably because he's been so nasty towards her so she's got no confidence in herself anymore. This is something you can't help, not at the moment anyway. Maybe it will be a wake-up call for her when she sees you go.
Anyway. Good luck and strenght in whatever you decide to do.
Get out now. Talk to your grand-parents and move in with them asap. Now you have to be selfish and think about yourself first. You can try to help your mother after you have sorted yourself a safe place to live and gotten your grand-parents involved.
I wouldn't be too bothered about telling your mum you think he is cheating on her. Obviously there are bigger issues, like him being a right scumbag towards you, but also because your mum will probably not believe you anyway but side with Richard. She hasn't stood up for you even when he abuses you, probably because he's been so nasty towards her so she's got no confidence in herself anymore. This is something you can't help, not at the moment anyway. Maybe it will be a wake-up call for her when she sees you go.
Anyway. Good luck and strenght in whatever you decide to do.
Sounds horrible kiddo, but just know it could be a lot lot worse so don't feel suicidal over it.
Obviously you need to speak to your mum at some point about how you feel in general about the situation, however much or little good it may do.
Assuming you're leaving for uni in 3 months, I'd try to ride it out.
Obviously you need to speak to your mum at some point about how you feel in general about the situation, however much or little good it may do.
Assuming you're leaving for uni in 3 months, I'd try to ride it out.
Reply 18
Christ. Most 'problems' on here are just ppl moaning over nothing, but I genuinely feel bad for you.
I'd deffo tell your mum about the pictures, try and get her to split up with him....although from what you've said it doesn't sound likely.
This prick sounds like a bully....and a bully can't be reasoned with, only stood up to. I would literally just totally and completely ignore him until he says something directly to insult you. When he says this I would insult him back, just as bad. I know it sounds inflammatory but I've been in a similar(ish) situation before and I also know one or two things about bullies and how to stand up to them. eg. He calls you a b.itch you call him a dikhead. He calls you ugly, insult him on a personal, physical level back....ie give as good as you get.
Sounds hard to do I know, but trust me he will stop. If he ever did hit you, which I think is highly unlikely, you call the police.
You can even call the police if he threatens to hit you. Technically its assault without battery....if you're interested.
I'd deffo tell your mum about the pictures, try and get her to split up with him....although from what you've said it doesn't sound likely.
This prick sounds like a bully....and a bully can't be reasoned with, only stood up to. I would literally just totally and completely ignore him until he says something directly to insult you. When he says this I would insult him back, just as bad. I know it sounds inflammatory but I've been in a similar(ish) situation before and I also know one or two things about bullies and how to stand up to them. eg. He calls you a b.itch you call him a dikhead. He calls you ugly, insult him on a personal, physical level back....ie give as good as you get.
Sounds hard to do I know, but trust me he will stop. If he ever did hit you, which I think is highly unlikely, you call the police.
You can even call the police if he threatens to hit you. Technically its assault without battery....if you're interested.
Related discussions
- Wrong course name in sfe
- a level mathematics for aqa cambridge worked solutions?
- AS, A level Biology VS Psychology?
- advice on friend grp
- quitting a levels in the middle of them
- I hate myself + i'm not coping (rant)
- I hit my boyfriend when I was blackout drunk
- student finance
- selecting courses to uni - course not an option anymore??
- KCL Mpharm Offer Holders
- Obsessed with a guy and cant function without daydreaming about him
- i give up
- High homelessness risk, no guarantor , no co-signer.
- I am not worried about my GCSE exams!!!!
- URGENT what happens if i drop a subject in year 12
- Predictions for EDUQAS Religious Studies Paper 1 Tommorow?
- NCS (Newham Collegiate Sixthform) 2024 Applicants
- QMUL clearing
- GCSE grades and predicted grades for US unis
- Brampton Manor sixth form Further Maths
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 months ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 2 months ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 2 months ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.