Ha ha. My mother treated me in a very similar way. In her case the accusations and verbal abuse are mostly delivered LOUDLY. She'd yell all the time; the peace and the quiet didn't last long in the good old family home. Things got a lot better when I moved out for university; we aren't in touch and it's better that way. Whenever I do speak to her or when I go back home for the holidays, she always affects me badly. I can literally feel myself turning into a meaner, angrier person.(Original post by somesomebody)
First off I know everyone has their own issues to deal with but I've no idea wtf to do with mine or who to turn to because
1-my mum disowned me in Oct 2013 and I officially moved out in March 2014
2-Idk where my dad is, I haven't seen him since I was 12 and his family are c*nts
3-My mother's family are too far away and even if they were nearer, they're HER family, HER brothers, HER sisters, HER aunts, uncles whatever. They know/care about her more obviously. Plus she's told them things/lies about me over the years to justify the wrongs she's done to me that they've learned about (ie: asking them to take me from her some years ago and just going to them about other sh*t)
4-my real life mates for some reason look up to me so I don't want them to see me like this lol
5-my girl broke up with me a couple wks ago because I subconsciously took my anger out on her since I suppress sh*t all the time
so I turn to you
But here's the situation, long story short, brace yourself:Spoiler:Show1-last night I go to my mother's house to give her money I owed her (a measly 20)
2-the money was wet somehow, nothing else in my bag was wet, the bottle cap was screwed on tightly and all. SO fatefully unlucky
3-but I put it on her bedside table and either she was half asleep or didn't want to see me but that was the reaction I got
4-I stay a while longer to help my sister go to bed and to see if she finished her homework
5-i put the oscillating fan on her so she and my mother can share it (their rooms are only separated by two doors instead of a wall: I left the doors open so they can share the fan)
6- I leave
7-Next morning (this morning) I go by to take my sister to school which I didn't have to do
8-my mother storms out of her room while I'm climbing the steps and asks me: "WHERE'S THE MONEY?!"
I'm like "what money?"
she goes, "the money you left on the table!?"
I say, "I left it...on the table..."
She goes, "That's the answer I thought I'd get!" and slams the door shut. I'm stood on the steps confused but I go in and she pushes me out and as she's my mum and weaker than me, I let her, not going to fight her back or anything
She says all this sh*t like I took the money () and starts going off about how horrible I am etc etc and I'm pissed because I know I left it and then went home?!
Why would I give her a sh*tty ass 20, then wait around in the dark to go back inside to steal it back? So I desperately look around for the damn money I try to tell her the fan could've blown it off the table but she won't listen and says "it was wet and stuck to the damn table!" etc etc, so now I'm f*cking vexed about some stupid sh*t and I sat in my car and cried about it
How would you feel if your mum hated you for silly sh*t all the time, if your siblings stand by silently, if your dad abandoned you, if your partner gave up on you?
BrokenLife ravioliyears RainbowKiwi z33 who I really want to speak to right now but she's banned so thanks a lot TSR Eternalflames queen-bee CoolCavy nucdev samina_ay help me
The trouble doesn't end there though. As you said, it can be hard not having a mum to rely on and on being alienated from the family and friends of the family because of her. (She'd insult me to people too.) There's this charity called standalone which is specific to people who've been estranged from their family. It's quite small and relatively unheard of, and I haven't used their support personally, but it is geared towards supporting people in exactly our position... I've also personally found that with family, though they know we don't get along, have gone over the years from giving me talks about the way I treat my mother and advising me to behave myself, to being a lot more respectful and accepting that the problem lies with her just as much (if not more than) as it does with me. I've been nice to the extended family and have made efforts to stay in touch; I haven't tried to prove myself or anything (nor would I) or shown them anything beyond common decency. But that was enough as they didn't believe her bull forever. With friends, I don't tend to talk about this sort of thing as they wouldn't understand having not been in the same position. Most people have this idealized image of mums, believe that just because they had a nice mum everyone must have one too, and dislike hearing about somebody not being close to their mum.
Or does it play no part?