The Student Room Group

Girlfriend worries

I'm currently in a relationship with a girl which has been going for a long time now and I can't imagine anything worse than losing her. It was all going fine untill recently when she admitted she had kissed another guy and although I've forgiven her and we are still together I can't help but feel now like I'm not good enough for her and I'm just waiting for her to go off with someone better. I know it's stupid and I know she loves me and she's told me that there have been opportunities for her to sleep with other guys which she has considered but turned down because she doesn't want to risk what we have. But then add this concern about other people to the fact I'm off to uni soon where there's the possibility of her being lonely and guys manipulating this to their advantage I'm getting worried.

Anyone have any advice on what I can do? And should I tell her how I'm feeling or will that just make things worse?

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Reply 1
She said she'd considered sleeping with other guys? Ok, may be quoting out of contextm but it's a very weird way of saying she's faithful to you.
Reply 2
tell her how ou feel. she had considerd it? if she didnt want to risk what you two had the answer would be a straight no, no concideration or thaught.
its up to you as to what you do. do you think she will stay faithful?
Reply 3
If you are off to Uni and she feels like this now, then you need to consider whether you want to go through the possibility of heard ache if she cheats on you while you are so far away.

Distance isn't for everone. Talk to her mate. She what she wants to do. :wink:
Ozy
If you are off to Uni and she feels like this now, then you need to consider whether you want to go through the possibility of heard ache if she cheats on you while you are so far away.

Distance isn't for everone. Talk to her mate. She what she wants to do. :wink:



No, don't see what she wants to do. Do what you want to do.
Well it's a bit alarming that she has considered sleeping with others despite being in a relationship with you. Don't mean to sound negative but if she's acting like this now, wait till uni. The way I see it the trust has already been broken.
Reply 6
Considering sleeping with others? Urm ok, that would put me off my boyfriend if he decided to tell me that, i wouldn't be at all grateful he hadn't done it because the fact he had even contemplated it would upset me so much. I don't mind him finding other girls attractive you know, but considering sleeping with somebody is a no-no :hmmm:
Reply 7
Well she didnt exactly say she had contemplated sleeping with someone else more that a guy invited her to his free house alone and she said she considered going in quite a confessional sort of mannor and when I asked what she hoped would happen she said she didnt know. Thats the way I chose to take it but I posted that as soon as it had happened and thinking about it now I may have just been feeling sorry for myself.

How would you guys respond to that and does that change anything?
Reply 8
Erm, i would talk to her about it certainly. It could mean that shes not as into you as you are into her. If she's being tempted to go with other guys then maybe the relationship isn't very strong.
Reply 9
this sounds so true. it sounds like you are my boyfriend. im speechless. i never meant to hurt my boyfriend. being so in love with him, made me go off the rails. i know i shouldn't have cheated on him. with this other guy, it was something...i dont know. being so in love i didnt want to lose him yet this othe guy gave me someone to talk to. it was a release. a bit of fun. being such a flirty person, i didnt mean to. with him going to uni, its hurting me. i found someone to talk to, to have a laugh with. it got out of hand. and i never wanted to hurt him. i dont want to lose him. he means the world to me.

sorry but by reading this, you might start to understand how it feels to be a girlfriend who has cheated on her boyfriend and who is going to university without her.
polarbear89
this sounds so true. it sounds like you are my boyfriend. im speechless. i never meant to hurt my boyfriend. being so in love with him, made me go off the rails. i know i shouldn't have cheated on him. with this other guy, it was something...i dont know. being so in love i didnt want to lose him yet this othe guy gave me someone to talk to. it was a release. a bit of fun. being such a flirty person, i didnt mean to. with him going to uni, its hurting me. i found someone to talk to, to have a laugh with. it got out of hand. and i never wanted to hurt him. i dont want to lose him. he means the world to me.

sorry but by reading this, you might start to understand how it feels to be a girlfriend who has cheated on her boyfriend and who is going to university without her.


What the **** are you on about, if you love your boyfriend you wouldn't even cheat.
polarbear89
this sounds so true. it sounds like you are my boyfriend. im speechless. i never meant to hurt my boyfriend. being so in love with him, made me go off the rails. i know i shouldn't have cheated on him. with this other guy, it was something...i dont know. being so in love i didnt want to lose him yet this othe guy gave me someone to talk to. it was a release. a bit of fun. being such a flirty person, i didnt mean to. with him going to uni, its hurting me. i found someone to talk to, to have a laugh with. it got out of hand. and i never wanted to hurt him. i dont want to lose him. he means the world to me.

sorry but by reading this, you might start to understand how it feels to be a girlfriend who has cheated on her boyfriend and who is going to university without her.


Are you 13?
Reply 12
Doomed.
fine. im 17. i made a stupid mistake. it eats me up every single day. i hate myself. i suffer with depression and i hate myself. you all might as well know, i tried commiting suicide the day after i told my boyfriend about the guy, and me not knowing what i wanted to happen. im sorry.
polarbear89
fine. im 17. i made a stupid mistake. it eats me up every single day. i hate myself. i suffer with depression and i hate myself. you all might as well know, i tried commiting suicide the day after i told my boyfriend about the guy, and me not knowing what i wanted to happen. im sorry.


No excuse for it though. You are lucky you are still with him to be honest, if that were me I would have got shot of you.
yakeyak
there have been opportunities for her to sleep with other guys which she has considered but turned down because she doesn't want to risk what we have.
Very bad choice of words on her part.
yakeyak
possibility of her being lonely and guys manipulating this to their advantage
You're worried about her being manipulated? Sounds like she's the manipulator.
Think everyone's pretty much summed it up very well here. You need a serious talk with her. The fact she'd even consider sleeping with other guys is highly disturbing! A kiss is one thing but seriously considering sleeping with other guys? That's bang out of order. I'd seriously re-consider your relationship with her and what you both want, whether you're into her more than she is to you.
My advice:

Get rid of her before you go to university.

It may be tough because you are fond of her, but it looks like she doesn't have the same strength of feelings for you. Also, most of the time long distance doesn't work at all and things just go off the boil. Cut your losses now and start a new chapter of your life at university, I'm sure you'll meet someone more suitable, but before you do, spend a little time on your own being a bit selfish and concentrating on you because it sounds like you have a poor opinion of yourself because you are trying to blame your girlfriends infidelities on supposed lack of worth.

I came out of a similar situation before I met my current girlfriend and I made a concious effort to be single for a few months and it really helped although it was tough at first.
Reply 18
polarbear89
i never meant to hurt my boyfriend. being so in love with him, made me go off the rails. i know i shouldn't have cheated on him. with this other guy, it was something...i dont know. being so in love i didnt want to lose him yet this othe guy gave me someone to talk to.

I'm sorry, what? You're saying that you cheated on your boyfriend because you are so in love with him?

No, I really don't understand.
polarbear89
fine. im 17. i made a stupid mistake. it eats me up every single day. i hate myself. i suffer with depression and i hate myself. you all might as well know, i tried commiting suicide the day after i told my boyfriend about the guy, and me not knowing what i wanted to happen. im sorry.


#nopity#