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Real problem with bf's friend.

Hey.

I have a real problem with one of my bfs friends. Let me just tell you that I am a very insecure person and find it hard to trust people. My bf is my first bf, first love and the first person I lost my virginity to. I love him so so much. He means everything to me. We've been together for 1 year and 7 months. For the first year of our relationship, we saw each other practically every day staying at each others houses so in January, me and my bf had a small hiccup where he wanted a few nights a week break. Fair enough, but since then it's made me alot worse insecurity wise. I found out that he had spoken to one of his friends about it and since then, I think that maybe something's going on between them. She's a girl if you hadn't already guessed. They were really good friends when they were in college before me and him met. I was friendly with her as I worked with her brother. This is how me and my bf met - through her. When we got together, she hated it and said horrible things to me about my bf. Then about 10 months down the line, she started hating me and was nice to my bf (only because she wanted a job at his shop basically).

I can't forgive her for being so nasty to both of us but my bf is different. So they have worked together for about 8 months now. Just him, her and his other mate. His other mate is leaving the end of this week so it's just gonna be the 2 of them which I know I won't like. I've spoken to my bf loads about it and he always says nothing's going on and that he loves me loads. He always txts me saying he loves me etc etc. I don't think he is cheating on me but I do get the odd pang of is he isn't he. He really isn't that kind of guy though. It's only when I see her with my bf or on her own or hear her or hear her name, that I start questioning everything. It makes me feel so sick when I see her. When I know she's not with him, i'm ok. I hate this girl so so much.

I know it's all my problem but it's so difficult when you're insecure. I have been more laid back and relaxed around my bf lately cos I know it was getting him down me being so untrustworthy. I don't go to my bfs shop in my lunch break anymore cos she's there and it just makes me miserable all day if I see her. When i'm chatting to my bf or when i'm with him, i'm better. I guess cos I know where he is and what he's doing. If he doesn't txt me back for ages I get paranoid. I hate it. I just hate it when he is with her or txting her or chatting to her online. How can I try and feel more confident about it all and try to not let her bother me?

Sorry for the long post.

Karen x

Reply 1

username47781

I will say what I have said in the last few threads you have made, you have got to start trusting him.

Reply 2

sparkle86

I do, sort of. No I do. It's just her I have a problem with. I don't trust her. I'm just scared that's all.

Reply 3

username47781

If your boyfriend values your relationship he won't do anything with the other girl.

Reply 4

Zerforax

sparkle86

I have a real problem with one of my bfs friends. Let me just tell you that I am a very insecure person and find it hard to trust people. My bf is my first bf, first love and the first person I lost my virginity to.

How many people can you lose your virginity to?

on a productive note, if you cant trust him, it will just push him away/make him mad at you.

Reply 5

sparkle86

I know. I just don't know how to fix myself so to speak. I don't want to be insecure and not trusting. I just don't know how not to be.

Reply 6

username47781

As we keep telling you get some help in tackling this because otherwise you will drive him away from you.

Reply 7

sparkle86

I know. Counselling all seems a bit too serious for me plus it's costly. I only wanna know how I can be not so bothered by this girl?

Reply 8

Dragon24

She will always be there unfortunately. I would still visit you bf at the shop - nice to see him and shows her you ain't letting her win. You can get councelling at Brook advisory (if there's one by you), at uni or on the NHS. You have a trust issue which may help talking to someone.