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    (Original post by jamaal17)
    that's the thing she said at first adoption was a good idea. But she is saying she's not sure and wants to parent or abortion. But like I said we don't have the money. She's also really emotional about an abortion. So I don't know how to convince her that it's probably the best choice. She's only 8 weeks. and she doesn't seem to want to do adoption already.
    Well you need to speak to her and make sure you are taking both of your feelings into account, it's not that you should competely rule out an abortion but you can't try and convince her to do something that could haunt her for the rest of her life, speak to your gp, they'll be the best person to advise you and you need to take each option into account
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    (Original post by Racoon)
    Yes, I know but its happened. Now they need help not people trying to make them feel worse,
    he should be feeling worse anyway!
    he should have think deeply before doing anything- at least he could control his testosterone
    what solutions are there?
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    (Original post by fatima1998)
    Exactly!! this is not something that can be done unintentionally... they should be prepared for this....
    i just dislike those people - i dunno why...
    that girl is paying for this and the baby is a baby.. the baby didn't commit any crime ( there are millions of mothers who are infertile and eager to have a baby but people like jamaal just don't care)
    people are heartless and emotionless - selfish
    I said she's having cold feet about adoption already and she's only 8 weeks. Which is why I feel parenting isn't a good or responsible option. And she knows that. Therefore we're left with one option.
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    Well you need to speak to her and make sure you are taking both of your feelings into account, it's not that you should competely rule out an abortion but you can't try and convince her to do something that could haunt her for the rest of her life, speak to your gp, they'll be the best person to advise you and you need to take each option into account
    to my doctor? I'm confused why would I go to the dr?
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    (Original post by jamaal17)
    I said she's having cold feet about adoption already and she's only 8 weeks. Which is why I feel parenting isn't a good or responsible option. And she knows that. Therefore we're left with one option.
    adoption is fine
    but abortion :noway::noway::noway:
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    (Original post by jamaal17)
    to my doctor? I'm confused why would I go to the dr?
    Abortion and pregnancy are medical issues, you need to speak to a consultant, they'll be able to give you information or put you through to people who can
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    Talk to a GP, as far as I know you get one on the NHS
    As for her, you cant MAKE her get an abortion, it's her body so it's her choice
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    (Original post by jamaal17)
    And neither of us have money for an abortion really... I mean I can get money but that's in part why I'm in trouble which is why I don't want to do it. And she won't tell her family. Or anyone and is basically keeping it a secret. How can I get her to get one? How can we resolve this situation?
    I am confused to why you would need money for this, if you are a UK citizen, abortion can be free on the NHS - you just need to go to your GP who can refer you to a specialist. In situations like this, the healthcare system is very supportive.

    As for making her an abortion, you cannot. However you can comfort her and reassure her - be there for her. Talk through it with her, and explain how you're feeling - and how much you would struggle with a child, and you don't want to bring another baby into the world that you cannot support.

    Adoption is a good idea in theory, in reality young mothers can become very attached to their baby and so this can cause more pain.
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    (Original post by jamaal17)
    to my doctor? I'm confused why would I go to the dr?
    Your GP is a (General) Medical Practitioner, i.e they will be knowledgeable about abortions and stuff.

    In regards to the 'trying to get the mother to abort', at the end of the day, it is her decision and you can't force her to abort. You can present to her a good argument on why you think it is the best idea, but there is no special trick that would make it click in place for her.
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    You helped conceive a child only. It is not on you or anyone else's hands to kill it.
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    Lol just kill the god damn baby

    with fire
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    (Original post by fatima1998)
    adoption is fine
    but abortion :noway::noway::noway:
    Dont bring your religion or personal belief in to this fatima, hes opinion matters as his the father its not all up to her. 😧
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    Abort quick and act fast,
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    (Original post by Keren1998)
    Dont bring your religion or personal belief in to this fatima, hes opinion matters as his the father its not all up to her. 😧
    there is noo personal belief is coming here!!!
    do you think killing a baby is morally a right thing to do?
    there are mothers who eagerly want a child but unfortunately, they are struggling
    whereas he is just saying to kill the child because he cannot take the responsibility... IS THIS IS RIGHT?
    he's opinion does matter but he cannot force her to abort the baby...
    THAT IS BRUTAL
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    (Original post by fatima1998)
    there is noo personal belief is coming here!!!
    do you think killing a baby is morally a right thing to do?
    there are mothers who eagerly want a child but unfortunately, they are struggling
    whereas he is just saying to kill the child because he cannot take the responsibility... IS THIS IS RIGHT?
    he's opinion does matter but he cannot force her to abort the baby...
    THAT IS BRUTAL
    Forcing someone to abort is illegal therefore i did not consider it, however aborting well to me as im Catholic i wouldnt consider it but hes not me. Mothers who can not have kids should adopt ...
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    (Original post by jamaal17)
    that's the thing she said at first adoption was a good idea. But she is saying she's not sure and wants to parent or abortion. But like I said we don't have the money. She's also really emotional about an abortion. So I don't know how to convince her that it's probably the best choice. She's only 8 weeks. and she doesn't seem to want to do adoption already.
    So she'll consider an abortion but money is the issue? How does it cost? Can you borrow it? Get it together?

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    (Original post by fatima1998)
    okk so he made a mistake... and how he is trying to solve the problem by making her abort the baby.. wow that's smart ain't
    he made a mistake and who is paying for it- the girl
    why?????
    They both made a mistake and they are both paying for it.

    He sees this as the best option what is wrong with him wanting her to agree with him?
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    (Original post by JohnGreek)
    Run away and disown the child.

    Better than ****ing up your future because of an unwanted kid
    He's already made one huge mistake and is in the process of making another huge mistake - persuading her to have an abortion against her wishes. Advising him to leave and abdicate all responsibility is to add even more present and future horror to the situation.

    Some day some time he will surely regret this decision and be full of self loathing. Rightly so . He will have acted immorally and it will haunt him for ever.
    His child, the mother of his child, her parents, his parents, his friends , any future partner will lose all respect for him. It may damage any possibility of his forming a good relationship in the future. Few women will want to attach themselves to a man who has proved himself so self absorbed and selfish.

    The best advice for his long term mental health is to advise him to step up to the plate and stand by the mother of his child . She needs support both financial and emotional in whatever decision she makes. Any woman can understand juvenile mistakes and will respect his integrity.

    Ditto he needs to take a decision to act in the best interests of his child, He needs to plan how he will become part of this child's life. How he will share its care, how often he will look after it. etc. It is only by acting morally that he will be able to look at himself in the mirror every day for the rest of his life.
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    (Original post by Keren1998)
    Forcing someone to abort is illegal therefore i did not consider it, however aborting well to me as im Catholic i wouldnt consider it but hes not me. Mothers who can not have kids should adopt ...
    then they should rather adopt than abort so infertile mothers can adopt those cutee little kids
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    (Original post by fatima1998)
    there is noo personal belief is coming here!!!
    do you think killing a baby is morally a right thing to do?
    there are mothers who eagerly want a child but unfortunately, they are struggling
    whereas he is just saying to kill the child because he cannot take the responsibility... IS THIS IS RIGHT?
    he's opinion does matter but he cannot force her to abort the baby...
    THAT IS BRUTAL
    Your personal beliefs are coming in here you are pro-life and that is a belief.
 
 
 
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