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When guys reply to messages on a group chat but not to you? Watch

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    #1

    (Original post by tilray)
    True but maybe he doesn't want to come across too keen? He obviously likes you other wise he wouldn't have suggested going out!

    But what ever you do, don't chase him...let him come to you. That's when you'll know if he really likes you or not.
    I think he was just drunk and suggesting it in the moment tbh

    oh well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What makes you say he still likes me? Surely if someone likes you they want to talk to you and they won't ignore your message especially you talked about plans before hand. The only reason would be that he is just not that interested after all, and would rather not reply (hate to admit it but Ive not replied to people's texts if Im not interested in them)
    I'm in exact same situation OP, I'm prone to black and white thinking so it makes no sense to me why someone would ignore me if they liked me?! I'd say all you can do it wait and see what happens, carry on as you are in the meanwhile!
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    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    Did you suggest a date and time?
    You haven't responded. This is pretty key.
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    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Even though they initiated? Feels bad man because you know they have checked their phone

    Does this mean they're not interested? Time to move on?
    cba to put the mental effort into replying
    if he takes more than 3 days to reply just stop talking to him, there are loads of other guys who actually make effort and not be a prick like him. I hate guys that do this.
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    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    You haven't responded. This is pretty key.
    well we talked about it when we were out and I said yeah we should, so he knows id go out with him if he asked. we didn't set up a date and time right then. This guy is not shy at all so he has no trouble with this stuff, I dont think its a good idea for me to make the first move

    I thinks he's just not that interested so I'm kinda gonna leave it. Onto the next one
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    well we talked about it when we were out and I said yeah we should, so he knows id go out with him if he asked. we didn't set up a date and time right then. This guy is not shy at all so he has no trouble with this stuff, I dont think its a good idea for me to make the first move

    I thinks he's just not that interested so I'm kinda gonna leave it. Onto the next one
    ...

    You snubbed him. Most people will give some kind of vague 'yes-ish' answer, just agreeing isn't an indicator at all. You don't have to go and immediately say "pick me up at 7 tomorrow", but at least make some kind of step. He's made the step to ask you (which is really hard), yet you can't manage to give at least some vague idea of when you're free. Why on earth is it not a good idea for you not to make the [second] move? This isn't 1920.

    If you're interested in him, tell him when you're free.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    ...

    You snubbed him. Most people will give some kind of vague 'yes-ish' answer, just agreeing isn't an indicator at all. You don't have to go and immediately say "pick me up at 7 tomorrow", but at least make some kind of step. He's made the step to ask you (which is really hard), yet you can't manage to give at least some vague idea of when you're free. Why on earth is it not a good idea for you not to make the [second] move? This isn't 1920.

    If you're interested in him, tell him when you're free.
    How is it snubbing him? I said yes, I didn't say 'oh I'm busy' or that 'ill let you know'! Te guy is in his mid twenties and very confident, I doubt he'd feel so snubbed about such a small thing that he'd back off completely
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How is it snubbing him? I said yes, I didn't say 'oh I'm busy' or that 'ill let you know'! Te guy is in his mid twenties and very confident, I doubt he'd feel so snubbed about such a small thing that he'd back off completely
    I fit in a message to any girl I know that I've seen in the past couple of months about doing something, almost all will be polite and give a response like yours. A much smaller % would actually be up for doing something. Just because he's more confident than you doesn't mean nothing phases him or makes him nervous.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    I fit in a message to any girl I know that I've seen in the past couple of months about doing something, almost all will be polite and give a response like yours. A much smaller % would actually be up for doing something. Just because he's more confident than you doesn't mean nothing phases him or makes him nervous.
    But he hasn't messaged me, thats the whole point of this thread. If he'd messaged Id ask what sort of thing he was thinking of doing and when, like I have before. I wouldn't just be agree and leave it to him to continue the conversation.

    The whole point if this thread was that he's messaged back on the group but I haven't really heard anything
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But he hasn't messaged me, thats the whole point of this thread. If he'd messaged Id ask what sort of thing he was thinking of doing and when, like I have before. I wouldn't just be agree and leave it to him to continue the conversation.

    The whole point if this thread was that he's messaged back on the group but I haven't really heard anything
    Is this the thing he hasn't responded to? Did you say something like "I'm free next week"? (if you did, fair enough, blame's on him). I was under the impression that you'd said yes (but without anything to suggest it's more than just politeness) and then the conversation had carried on.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    Is this the thing he hasn't responded to? Did you say something like "I'm free next week"? (if you did, fair enough, blame's on him). I was under the impression that you'd said yes (but without anything to suggest it's more than just politeness) and then the conversation had carried on.

    It think we've gotten the situation a bit confused! this is what happened:

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Like we have mutual friends and went out (as in clubbing) for someones birthday, wed been flirting all night and he said we should go out for dinner etc. Texted me to ask if I got back home safely when I left for home at like 5am, exchanged a few messages but he hasn't replied to my last one (which admittedly I texted back in the evening at like 6 pm)??
    He didn't message me about going out, we only spoke about it in person.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It think we've gotten the situation a bit confused! this is what happened:



    He didn't message me about going out, we only spoke about it in person.
    Aha, my bad! Yeah, that sounds reasonable then. My gut feeling says it's nerves on his part (you say he's not shy, but even world leaders get nervous sometimes), but I could be wrong. I'd wait it out a little bit, then at some point, send another message. If it reaches the point where you've sent three messages with similar lack of response from him, I'd be inclined to say he's not interested, but for the moment, I'd give him benefit of the doubt.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    Aha, my bad! Yeah, that sounds reasonable then. My gut feeling says it's nerves on his part (you say he's not shy, but even world leaders get nervous sometimes), but I could be wrong. I'd wait it out a little bit, then at some point, send another message. If it reaches the point where you've sent three messages with similar lack of response from him, I'd be inclined to say he's not interested, but for the moment, I'd give him benefit of the doubt.
    Hmm yeah I mean u could be right but in my experience guys who like you find a way to keep in contact because they want to hear from you, wouldn't you agree? Like they'd drop a text just to talk or whatever, they wouldn't completely forget to text back for days on end. I'm not going to message him (personal rule of mine, not gonna text a guy first until we have some sort of relationship/dating going, unless its absolutely necessary, call it learning from experience )

    Gonna put this on the back burner and move on with my life, dont see much coming of it atm tbh
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hmm yeah I mean u could be right but in my experience guys who like you find a way to keep in contact because they want to hear from you, wouldn't you agree? Like they'd drop a text just to talk or whatever, they wouldn't completely forget to text back for days on end. I'm not going to message him (personal rule of mine, not gonna text a guy first until we have some sort of relationship/dating going, unless its absolutely necessary, call it learning from experience )
    I don't think so. I think it depends. Have you ever put off replying to someone for whatever reason, then it reaches a point where you've waited long enough to reply that you're now embarrassed to? I myself am in that situation right now (I think I got a snapchat message from them a week or two ago, but wasn't sure cause my phone died with snapchat open - I should've asked earlier, but now it'll be weird to ask), nothing wrong with the person.

    Let's swap the genders on your post.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hmm yeah I mean u could be right but in my experience girls who like you find a way to keep in contact because they want to hear from you, wouldn't you agree? Like they'd drop a text just to talk or whatever, they wouldn't completely forget to text back for days on end. I'm not going to message her (personal rule of mine, not gonna text a girl first until we have some sort of relationship/dating going, unless its absolutely necessary, call it learning from experience )
    If that was the guy talking about you, would they seem interested to you?

    Even if he is backing off a little, would you blame him?

    I'd at the very least send a second text (doesn't have to be immediate, you could wait a week).
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    Don't make such a big deal lmao. You don't need to over analyse everything
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    I don't think so. I think it depends. Have you ever put off replying to someone for whatever reason, then it reaches a point where you've waited long enough to reply that you're now embarrassed to? I myself am in that situation right now (I think I got a snapchat message from them a week or two ago, but wasn't sure cause my phone died with snapchat open - I should've asked earlier, but now it'll be weird to ask), nothing wrong with the person.

    Let's swap the genders on your post.



    If that was the guy talking about you, would they seem interested to you?

    Even if he is backing off a little, would you blame him?

    I'd at the very least send a second text (doesn't have to be immediate, you could wait a week).
    Hmm I see what you mean and I guess you're right. Can I ask how old you are and if you have a lot of experience with women (if you dont mind either of these questions)?

    Its just that this guy seems like a very popular, outgoing flirt/player kinda guy, and I'm still a bit raw from a situation where I liked another guy who turned out to be a bit of a player and I didn't pick up on the signals that things weren't going anywhere and to move on, hoping that I was just reading things wrong. I just dont want to get hurt again

    Also with these sorts of guys, even if I did text him, chances are that if he wasn't interested he'd still run with it until he got what he wanted and then move on. I just dont feel comfortable with it
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    #1

    (Original post by Goaded)
    Don't make such a big deal lmao. You don't need to over analyse everything
    Read the rest of my thread, theres more info
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hmm I see what you mean and I guess you're right. Can I ask how old you are and if you have a lot of experience with women (if you dont mind either of these questions)?

    Its just that this guy seems like a very popular, outgoing flirt/player kinda guy, and I'm still a bit raw from a situation where I liked another guy who turned out to be a bit of a player and I didn't pick up on the signals that things weren't going anywhere and to move on, hoping that I was just reading things wrong. I just dont want to get hurt again

    Also with these sorts of guys, even if I did text him, chances are that if he wasn't interested he'd still run with it until he got what he wanted and then move on. I just dont feel comfortable with it
    I'll answer to an extent, happy to go into more detail via PM. I'm fairly close in age to the guy you're talking about. More female friends than male, regularly share beds with them (though I'm not sexually interested in the vast majority of those). Not a lot of bf/gf experience admittedly, but a reasonable amount of other experience.

    I get where you're coming from on that, and I can understand not wanting to get hurt again. I'd look at what you want right now (bearing in mind on one hand that relationships don't start overnight, but on the other, it's hard to change someone who isn't ready for a relationship). I know what you mean, and it sounds like your gut is telling you it won't work out. While I wouldn't be afraid to sometimes make the first move (else you're essentially screening out all the non-player types), if your gut is telling you no, then in this instance it might make sense to follow it, at least for the moment.
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    the GC has more banter
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    #1

    (Original post by batoot)
    the GC has more banter
    really??
 
 
 
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