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    ....who are giving your kids some financial help.

    How do you deal with the issues of bursaries / additional loans given to one child but not the other?

    What if one child has cheaper living costs than the other?

    Do you just give them the same amount or try and even things up?
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    (Original post by Mumfindinginfo)
    ....who are giving your kids some financial help.

    How do you deal with the issues of bursaries / additional loans given to one child but not the other?

    What if one child has cheaper living costs than the other?

    Do you just give them the same amount or try and even things up?
    Discuss the issue with both of them together and see what they would regard as fair.
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    You don't need to tell them the exact figure you are giving to the other. Does it often come up in conversation that they demand to know what the other receives? If so, ask why they need to know and what comparison they might draw from that information.

    For example, my parents will help me and my three siblings out financially if they observe a need. I assume our needier youngest sibling gets the most financial assistance. It's not a point of whole family discussion except to say openly that we should come and discuss any personal financial difficulties with them to see what they can do to support us. The finer details are via one-to-one discussion, not public arena.

    Supporting siblings differently in accordance with need doesn't have to be the source of discord amongst them if you handle it correctly.
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    I'm not a parent, but there's two ways of looking at it
    a) either you'll give them £x, and if they want to live somewhere with a higher cost of living, then that's their choice and they have chosen to have a lower living standard
    b) you'll bring them up to approximately the same standard of living, even if that means giving more to one than the other

    Both have their merits, IMHO, if you can afford the latter.
 
 
 
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