is this a normal relationship with a 16 year old girl and parents? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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okay, I'm not a morning person so I find it difficult to wake up at 6AM in the morning, but my mum always screams into my ear and tells me to wake up so I can do my homework- eventhough my homework is actually done. If I fail to wake up with in 5 mins, she always moans to me that I'm such a failure and I can't do a single thing.

Then, when she asks me to help her with something and I do it wrong, she tells me: "oh you can't even do this!? you're so annoying. Go away now, your presence is irritating me". I guess that's my fault for not being able to meet her requirements, but I always feel like I just want to run out of the house whenever she says something like that. But, I have restrictions of not being allowed out unless I tell her where exactly (the address), when (what time I'm coming back), who (name and their parent's number) I'm going with. Because of this, I'm not really allowed out with my friends much.

If I get sick or get injured, my parents just think I'm being too weak and just trying to attract attention, eventhough I'm not and they tell me how useless I am.

If my mum really gets mad, she tells about the incident to my dad, and my dad gets annoyed for annoying my mum. Then he hits me with a bamboo cane until I give him a reasonable explanation of why I made my mum mad. If I don't give a proper explanation he kicks me and hits me with the cane constantly.

I feel really bad about myself sometimes and dig my nails into my skin or make small cuts. I think I'm whining too much but I don't want to stay in this kind of situation forever. I once thought about telling a counselor, but I don't want them to tell my parents and make my parents get more mad. I'm scared of what will happen after I go counselling on how my parents will react as I feel like they will hate me more if I tell a counsellor.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can stop this?
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claireestelle
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
okay, I'm not a morning person so I find it difficult to wake up at 6AM in the morning, but my mum always screams into my ear and tells me to wake up so I can do my homework- eventhough my homework is actually done. If I fail to wake up with in 5 mins, she always moans to me that I'm such a failure and I can't do a single thing.

Then, when she asks me to help her with something and I do it wrong, she tells me: "oh you can't even do this!? you're so annoying. Go away now, your presence is irritating me". I guess that's my fault for not being able to meet her requirements, but I always feel like I just want to run out of the house whenever she says something like that. But, I have restrictions of not being allowed out unless I tell her where exactly (the address), when (what time I'm coming back), who (name and their parent's number) I'm going with. Because of this, I'm not really allowed out with my friends much.

If I get sick or get injured, my parents just think I'm being too weak and just trying to attract attention, eventhough I'm not and they tell me how useless I am.

If my mum really gets mad, she tells about the incident to my dad, and my dad gets annoyed for annoying my mum. Then he hits me with a bamboo cane until I give him a reasonable explanation of why I made my mum mad. If I don't give a proper explanation he kicks me and hits me with the cane constantly.

I feel really bad about myself sometimes and dig my nails into my skin or make small cuts. I think I'm whining too much but I don't want to stay in this kind of situation forever. I once thought about telling a counselor, but I don't want them to tell my parents and make my parents get more mad. I'm scared of what will happen after I go counselling on how my parents will react as I feel like they will hate me more if I tell a counsellor.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can stop this?
I think you need to speak to someone you trust, either a teacher or consider speaking to social services as what they are doing is abusive
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Anonymous #2
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lol cause I've been hit with a bamboo stick before.
remove the stick from the house, they will probably replace it with a hanger or shoe but it's better than a ****ing bamboo stick cause that s**t hurts like hell
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goldbangles
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(Original post by Anonymous)
okay, I'm not a morning person so I find it difficult to wake up at 6AM in the morning, but my mum always screams into my ear and tells me to wake up so I can do my homework- eventhough my homework is actually done. If I fail to wake up with in 5 mins, she always moans to me that I'm such a failure and I can't do a single thing.

Then, when she asks me to help her with something and I do it wrong, she tells me: "oh you can't even do this!? you're so annoying. Go away now, your presence is irritating me". I guess that's my fault for not being able to meet her requirements, but I always feel like I just want to run out of the house whenever she says something like that. But, I have restrictions of not being allowed out unless I tell her where exactly (the address), when (what time I'm coming back), who (name and their parent's number) I'm going with. Because of this, I'm not really allowed out with my friends much.

If I get sick or get injured, my parents just think I'm being too weak and just trying to attract attention, eventhough I'm not and they tell me how useless I am.

If my mum really gets mad, she tells about the incident to my dad, and my dad gets annoyed for annoying my mum. Then he hits me with a bamboo cane until I give him a reasonable explanation of why I made my mum mad. If I don't give a proper explanation he kicks me and hits me with the cane constantly.

I feel really bad about myself sometimes and dig my nails into my skin or make small cuts. I think I'm whining too much but I don't want to stay in this kind of situation forever. I once thought about telling a counselor, but I don't want them to tell my parents and make my parents get more mad. I'm scared of what will happen after I go counselling on how my parents will react as I feel like they will hate me more if I tell a counsellor.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can stop this?
A bamboo cane? And yes telling a counsellor will get them immediately involved and everything will be a mess but that's pretty much the only choice. However you're 16; that's the time to start planning how to get the hell away from your parents anyway lol
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Ara8311a
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(Original post by Anonymous)
okay, I'm not a morning person so I find it difficult to wake up at 6AM in the morning, but my mum always screams into my ear and tells me to wake up so I can do my homework- eventhough my homework is actually done. If I fail to wake up with in 5 mins, she always moans to me that I'm such a failure and I can't do a single thing.

Then, when she asks me to help her with something and I do it wrong, she tells me: "oh you can't even do this!? you're so annoying. Go away now, your presence is irritating me". I guess that's my fault for not being able to meet her requirements, but I always feel like I just want to run out of the house whenever she says something like that. But, I have restrictions of not being allowed out unless I tell her where exactly (the address), when (what time I'm coming back), who (name and their parent's number) I'm going with. Because of this, I'm not really allowed out with my friends much.

If I get sick or get injured, my parents just think I'm being too weak and just trying to attract attention, eventhough I'm not and they tell me how useless I am.

If my mum really gets mad, she tells about the incident to my dad, and my dad gets annoyed for annoying my mum. Then he hits me with a bamboo cane until I give him a reasonable explanation of why I made my mum mad. If I don't give a proper explanation he kicks me and hits me with the cane constantly.

I feel really bad about myself sometimes and dig my nails into my skin or make small cuts. I think I'm whining too much but I don't want to stay in this kind of situation forever. I once thought about telling a counselor, but I don't want them to tell my parents and make my parents get more mad. I'm scared of what will happen after I go counselling on how my parents will react as I feel like they will hate me more if I tell a counsellor.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can stop this?
Speak to someone. Maybe there's someone at school you can tell (if you go to school). Please just speak to someone. It's not normal to be hit by your dad with a bamboo cane. Maybe you could ask it to be confidential? If not, Childline might be a good bet to get someone to talk to anonymously. It's clearly affecting you and if you don't do something now you might regret it never standing up for yourself when you're older. The fact that you're asking people on TSR suggests that you know deep down that this isn't normal and that you need to speak to someone. I know it's hard but it will feel better when you get it out into the open.
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tailred
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
okay, I'm not a morning person so I find it difficult to wake up at 6AM in the morning, but my mum always screams into my ear and tells me to wake up so I can do my homework- eventhough my homework is actually done. If I fail to wake up with in 5 mins, she always moans to me that I'm such a failure and I can't do a single thing.

Then, when she asks me to help her with something and I do it wrong, she tells me: "oh you can't even do this!? you're so annoying. Go away now, your presence is irritating me". I guess that's my fault for not being able to meet her requirements, but I always feel like I just want to run out of the house whenever she says something like that. But, I have restrictions of not being allowed out unless I tell her where exactly (the address), when (what time I'm coming back), who (name and their parent's number) I'm going with. Because of this, I'm not really allowed out with my friends much.

If I get sick or get injured, my parents just think I'm being too weak and just trying to attract attention, eventhough I'm not and they tell me how useless I am.

If my mum really gets mad, she tells about the incident to my dad, and my dad gets annoyed for annoying my mum. Then he hits me with a bamboo cane until I give him a reasonable explanation of why I made my mum mad. If I don't give a proper explanation he kicks me and hits me with the cane constantly.

I feel really bad about myself sometimes and dig my nails into my skin or make small cuts. I think I'm whining too much but I don't want to stay in this kind of situation forever. I once thought about telling a counselor, but I don't want them to tell my parents and make my parents get more mad. I'm scared of what will happen after I go counselling on how my parents will react as I feel like they will hate me more if I tell a counsellor.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can stop this?
I don't know how you can stop this. This is not a normal relationship you have between you and your parents, this is abuse, emotionally and physical.
Tell your parents how you feel and how you expect to be treated
If they don't fix up, get in contact with social services, don't let anyone treat you like that. Especially not your parents. It will **** you up.

Where are you from?
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shawtyb
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i thought this was real for a minute
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by tailred)
I don't know how you can stop this. This is not a normal relationship you have between you and your parents, this is abuse, emotionally and physical.
Tell your parents how you feel and how you expect to be treated
If they don't fix up, get in contact with social services, don't let anyone treat you like that. Especially not your parents. It will **** you up.

Where are you from?
Barnet
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shawtyb)
i thought this was real for a minute
It is real.
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tailred
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Barnet
Ethnic origin
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shawtyb
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It is real.
sorry it was the bamboo cane part :/
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by tailred)
Ethnic origin
oh, I'd prefer not to say, but I'm an oriental asian.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shawtyb)
sorry it was the bamboo cane part :/
oh right, its okau. Not many people own bamboo canes I guess...
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shawtyb
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(Original post by Anonymous)
oh, I'd prefer not to say, but I'm an oriental asian.
are your parents pandas?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shawtyb)
are your parents pandas?
yes, if you mean in terms of being asians
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tailred
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(Original post by Anonymous)
oh, I'd prefer not to say, but I'm an oriental asian.
Thought so. Anyway try and speak up. If that does not work, get in contact with someone. Don't let people hurt you like that. I know culture is straining and hard to tackle, but sometimes you have to say **** it. You are already hurting to the point of self harm. Say something.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by tailred)
Thought so. Anyway try and speak up. If that does not work, get in contact with someone. Don't let people hurt you like that. I know culture is straining and hard to tackle, but sometimes you have to say **** it. You are already hurting to the point of self harm. Say something.
Thanks. I've considered trying to contact someone, but I get worried of how my parents would react to me and what would actually happen to them. I know that if I tell a school counsellor, they would have to tell my parents because I self harm, so I'm kind of stuck on what to do.
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skylightflower
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I think you should definitely go see someone- this is getting worrying, your parents should be there to support you,
tell them how you feel- however, how would they react to that?
There is a difference of being strict, and abusive- are the constantly like this? or is it just occasionally?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by skylightflower)
I think you should definitely go see someone- this is getting worrying, your parents should be there to support you,
tell them how you feel- however, how would they react to that?
There is a difference of being strict, and abusive- are the constantly like this? or is it just occasionally?
My mum is constantly, and my dad is like once in a few months
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skylightflower
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My mum is constantly, and my dad is like once in a few months

Well-sometimes having asian parents- its hard for them to kinda have a "normal convo" so i guess maybe your mum is just trying to shrug off the "intimacy"? I dont really know, but i would say that if she's being constantly like that, you should DEFINITELY talk to her, tell her how you feel. Because she might not know that u feel that way ;(
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