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me and a bestfriend (it's been done to death)
In sixth form I have made a really good male friend, we spent a lot of time together, we have similar interests, he totally gets me and my weird episodes and I understand him. And here's the complication. He fell in love with me. And to make it worse I didn't feel the same, but we have remained friends, we spend every weekend together, every weekday and do revision together. But I'm confused, we often end up in the same bed when we stay over each others houses, and I miss him when I sleep alone. We go to every party together because if we are apart at a social gathering we get bored and start complaining. I feel so safe when I'm with him, like nothing can hurt me and well in the words of David grey "everything feels so incomplete until you walk into the room".
I'm just confused ... some days I feel such a strong connection to him, like we could start a relationship and it could go on forever and some days I feel like I could strangle him because hes suffocating me.
any advice on how to sort myself out would be apreciated
I'm just confused ... some days I feel such a strong connection to him, like we could start a relationship and it could go on forever and some days I feel like I could strangle him because hes suffocating me.
any advice on how to sort myself out would be apreciated
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
Maybe you are not actually ready for a full on relationship just yet?
Reply 4
Me and my best mate were like that (except he wasn't in love with me... he just fancied me a bit).
When we slept in beds together (hardly ever... only parties) nothing ever happened. We'd both had urges to but the little voice in my head was like "noooo if you make a move it'll ruin our friendship". We'd been mates for 8 months. And started going out 3 months ago.
It's been wonderful
The feeling I felt was jealousy when he talked to other girls I knew he found attractive, but I felt so safe when he cuddled me or just had his arm around me. We'd spend evening after evening together and we were adament we were friends for ages. Then we gave in!
I didn't ever feel like he strangled me though... which might be an issue if you're not feeling like you like him all the time.
If you did make a move I'd say take it slowly so you don't jump in then regret it. If you're in control of the situation you can have the chance to say stop without having gone too far.
Good luck with what you decide
When we slept in beds together (hardly ever... only parties) nothing ever happened. We'd both had urges to but the little voice in my head was like "noooo if you make a move it'll ruin our friendship". We'd been mates for 8 months. And started going out 3 months ago.
It's been wonderful
The feeling I felt was jealousy when he talked to other girls I knew he found attractive, but I felt so safe when he cuddled me or just had his arm around me. We'd spend evening after evening together and we were adament we were friends for ages. Then we gave in!
I didn't ever feel like he strangled me though... which might be an issue if you're not feeling like you like him all the time.
If you did make a move I'd say take it slowly so you don't jump in then regret it. If you're in control of the situation you can have the chance to say stop without having gone too far.
Good luck with what you decide
Reply 5
kimble
In sixth form I have made a really good male friend, we spent a lot of time together, we have similar interests, he totally gets me and my weird episodes and I understand him. And here's the complication. He fell in love with me. And to make it worse I didn't feel the same, but we have remained friends, we spend every weekend together, every weekday and do revision together. But I'm confused, we often end up in the same bed when we stay over each others houses, and I miss him when I sleep alone. We go to every party together because if we are apart at a social gathering we get bored and start complaining. I feel so safe when I'm with him, like nothing can hurt me and well in the words of David grey "everything feels so incomplete until you walk into the room".
I'm just confused ... some days I feel such a strong connection to him, like we could start a relationship and it could go on forever and some days I feel like I could strangle him because hes suffocating me.
any advice on how to sort myself out would be apreciated
I'm just confused ... some days I feel such a strong connection to him, like we could start a relationship and it could go on forever and some days I feel like I could strangle him because hes suffocating me.
any advice on how to sort myself out would be apreciated
Are you sure you are not in love with this guy?
This sounds like a truly amazing friendship, but if he wants something more and you don't, I believe that will severly damage the relationship in the future unless he is very strong. It is difficult, but possible, to be very good friends with someone that you love.
Reply 6
Talking from a guys perspective, and I have been in similar situations- although defo nothing close to love, I would say you need to make your mind up. You need to be in clear in your head where this is going and make it clear to him- otherwise you are playing with his emotions and hurting him. If he thinks he has a chance it will stop him going for other girls- and if you keep acting the same towards him, and I don't know whether that is flirtatious or not, he will not be able to fall out of love.
Some one think of the guy, please think of the guy
(we aint all tht bad!)
Some one think of the guy, please think of the guy
(we aint all tht bad!)Reply 7
Yeah, I'd say make a decision.
And I'll second "matthew swallow"; as much as it'll ruin it for you, it'll do the same for him, because although you don't mean to, you are playing with his feelings if you don't have some clear idea what you want. All that false hope malaki.
After a similar situation, [not Love though] I finally accepted it was more that actually i just loved being cared for, and having someone to love me. I "liked" the guy, but had to say no in the end - it's just not fair to them.
Good Luck. Hope it works out well.
Becca <3.
And I'll second "matthew swallow"; as much as it'll ruin it for you, it'll do the same for him, because although you don't mean to, you are playing with his feelings if you don't have some clear idea what you want. All that false hope malaki.
After a similar situation, [not Love though] I finally accepted it was more that actually i just loved being cared for, and having someone to love me. I "liked" the guy, but had to say no in the end - it's just not fair to them.
Good Luck. Hope it works out well.
Becca <3.
Reply 8
matthew.swallow
Some one think of the guy, please think of the guy (we aint all tht bad!)
(we aint all tht bad!)Why, you all think of yourselves enough for everyone
Reply 9
There's love there, but you need to decide whether you are in love with him or whether you love him. Big difference.
Nobody can tell you, it's something you have to figure out.
If you are in love with him, would you not rather find out exactly how great it can be instead of never knowing? To get everything you have to risk everything, petal!!
Reply 10
Um yeah, I'm in a similar situation, except that he's only interested in me long term and according to my friends makes me sad. I tried to tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore, and he called me a "hormonal psycho" and that he'd talk to me when I got my sense of humor back. I didn't particularly appreciate this.
If you are sure you don't like him, don't do anything rash. Actually, that goes for if you do like him too.
If you are sure you don't like him, don't do anything rash. Actually, that goes for if you do like him too.
Reply 11
megx
Um yeah, I'm in a similar situation, except that he's only interested in me long term and according to my friends makes me sad. I tried to tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore, and he called me a "hormonal psycho" and that he'd talk to me when I got my sense of humor back. I didn't particularly appreciate this.
If you are sure you don't like him, don't do anything rash. Actually, that goes for if you do like him too.
If you are sure you don't like him, don't do anything rash. Actually, that goes for if you do like him too.
lol so similar, but not the same. I reckon your dude is the psycho for calling you that hun. funny, but pretty scary xx
Reply 13
kimble
In sixth form I have made a really good male friend, we spent a lot of time together, we have similar interests, he totally gets me and my weird episodes and I understand him. And here's the complication. He fell in love with me. And to make it worse I didn't feel the same, but we have remained friends, we spend every weekend together, every weekday and do revision together. But I'm confused, we often end up in the same bed when we stay over each others houses, and I miss him when I sleep alone. We go to every party together because if we are apart at a social gathering we get bored and start complaining. I feel so safe when I'm with him, like nothing can hurt me and well in the words of David grey "everything feels so incomplete until you walk into the room".
I'm just confused ... some days I feel such a strong connection to him, like we could start a relationship and it could go on forever and some days I feel like I could strangle him because hes suffocating me.
any advice on how to sort myself out would be apreciated
I'm just confused ... some days I feel such a strong connection to him, like we could start a relationship and it could go on forever and some days I feel like I could strangle him because hes suffocating me.
any advice on how to sort myself out would be apreciated
Your friendship will also get finished if you go in romance.
Reply 14
3232
Steady fellas, this ones 'angry'!
( )
(
)THANK YOU, I just spat out my cereal laughing.
Reply 15
3232
Steady fellas, this ones 'angry'!
( )
(
)crazy boys
Reply 16
Shag each others brains out...... it'll be fun!
Reply 17
trouttrout
Shag each others brains out...... it'll be fun!
What a ********. Some one asks for help and you say that... don't you have something better to do with your time? Boils my blood.
Reply 18
matthew.swallow
What a ********. Some one asks for help and you say that... don't you have something better to do with your time? Boils my blood.
Yu... Do one..... it was my opinion right ya prick!!!
If they just get it on... they'll obviously think it's sweet... lets face it.... no one is friendly with a bird, at least not best mates unles they wanna ram them all ova... like has been proven in this case as the lad fell in love with her!
MEHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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