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he got with another girl
basically i broke up with my ex about 2 months ago because im going to uni in october and didnt feel as though it wouls work because we'd be so far apart. and he works alot so i would see him maybe once every 2 months. to me that isnt a relationship. so anyway i broke up with him. and we were stil really close mates because we had been together over 2yrs.
bascially im still in love with him and he is with we (so he says) he was always telin me he wants me back and he wants noone else but me etc etc. then he went out the other night and kissed a random girl in a club. now hes textin her all the time. the thing that really wound me up is that he lied about it to me. i asked him loads of times are u textin her, he denied it. then he finally came out and admitted that he'd been textin her since he got with her.
its really broke my heart to know he got with someone else. and i know i broke the relationship up but it was only cuz of uni, we are still in love. thats why i feel so betrayed.
i done really know why i posted this, just felt i needed to get it off my chest and i could do with some friendly advice about what to do
thank u for reading
bascially im still in love with him and he is with we (so he says) he was always telin me he wants me back and he wants noone else but me etc etc. then he went out the other night and kissed a random girl in a club. now hes textin her all the time. the thing that really wound me up is that he lied about it to me. i asked him loads of times are u textin her, he denied it. then he finally came out and admitted that he'd been textin her since he got with her.
its really broke my heart to know he got with someone else. and i know i broke the relationship up but it was only cuz of uni, we are still in love. thats why i feel so betrayed.
i done really know why i posted this, just felt i needed to get it off my chest and i could do with some friendly advice about what to do
thank u for reading
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Well, you did break up with him...
The key thing to remember here is that he isn't worth your upset. It's natural that you mourn the relationship as you were together for 2 years, but if he was really in love with you he wouldn't have messed around with another girl, because that would have jeopordised any chance of you taking him back.
You have a lot to look forward to, you have Uni ahead of you and putting the hurt from this aside, you knew you had no future with this guy anyway and you did the right thing letting him go as now you have the freedom to enjoy meeting new people at Uni.
See it as a chance to wipe the slate clean and build a new life for yourself.
Good luck x
He ain't done anything wrong. you broke up with him so he has every right not to tell you or lie about texting another gal. And if you are still in love with him then your feelings, whatever, are all over the place and confused right? Then it's perfectly acceptable to surmise that it's the same for him, which is why one minute he's telling you he still loves you and wants you back, and another he's snogging random gals in bars.
Maybe he is trying to get over you? Snogging random girls is probably not the best way to do it, but that is what usually happens.
Well it seems a bit unfair that he's mucked her around like that.
Well, that's a difficult situation.
Obviously having been with him so long, its going to take more than two months to adjust to a platonic friendship, and because of this your feelings of betrayl/jealousy etc are perfectly natural.
It sounds like you have a very valid reason for breaking up with him, one which may save a lot of heartache in the future, but since it doesn't sound like a mutual break up, then as others have said, it is unsurprising he would want to make you jealous, in an attempt to get over you if you like.
Someone said it was unfair of him to mess you around, however if he actively made it clear he wanted to get back together with you, and you said no, then, in his mind, he was clear what the situation between you two was and therefore he felt able to kiss this other girl.
Obviously I understand why you'd be upset, but I'm sure he'd only have lied to spare your feelings, I'm sure you wouldn't have preferred if he'd told you all the details, every message they sent to each other etc.
I can certainly see where you're coming from, but it's not fair to be angry at him, when as a young single guy, he was merely doing what young single guys do.
You seem fairly certain a relationship in the future isn't possible, therefore as hard as its going to be, you're going to have to accept that he's going to move on. He can't mope around and pine for you forever, and I'm sure you won't do so either. If you find this too difficult at the moment, maybe it's time to step back from the friendship and evaluate what you really want!
Hope it all works out.
Obviously having been with him so long, its going to take more than two months to adjust to a platonic friendship, and because of this your feelings of betrayl/jealousy etc are perfectly natural.
It sounds like you have a very valid reason for breaking up with him, one which may save a lot of heartache in the future, but since it doesn't sound like a mutual break up, then as others have said, it is unsurprising he would want to make you jealous, in an attempt to get over you if you like.
Someone said it was unfair of him to mess you around, however if he actively made it clear he wanted to get back together with you, and you said no, then, in his mind, he was clear what the situation between you two was and therefore he felt able to kiss this other girl.
Obviously I understand why you'd be upset, but I'm sure he'd only have lied to spare your feelings, I'm sure you wouldn't have preferred if he'd told you all the details, every message they sent to each other etc.
I can certainly see where you're coming from, but it's not fair to be angry at him, when as a young single guy, he was merely doing what young single guys do.
You seem fairly certain a relationship in the future isn't possible, therefore as hard as its going to be, you're going to have to accept that he's going to move on. He can't mope around and pine for you forever, and I'm sure you won't do so either. If you find this too difficult at the moment, maybe it's time to step back from the friendship and evaluate what you really want!
Hope it all works out.
kylie88
yeh i understand he hasnt done anything wrong, but one minute hes tellin me he loves me and wants me back. then the next hes got his tongue down someones throat...whats the deal?!
Well, he may still love you, but you're clearly not available to him, so he's trying to move on. It may hurt, but as everyone else has pointed out, you aren't in a relationship no matter what your feelings are. So what did you want him to do, spend the rest of his life mourning your relationship? He had to move on at some point and two months is a fairly long time.
3232
Well, he may still love you, but you're clearly not available to him, so he's trying to move on. It may hurt, but as everyone else has pointed out, you aren't in a relationship no matter what your feelings are. So what did you want him to do, spend the rest of his life mourning your relationship? He had to move on at some point and two months is a fairly long time.
You're on a roll recently.
Have to agree with 3232 here.
You made a decision to leave him. You didn't have to - some people make relationships work despite being apart. He has moved on, which includes meeting new people and forming new relationships. If you were still friends then he shouldn't have lied to you - but clearly he felt awkward about how things had been left between you to. You need to think about what you expected to happen - you left him because you were a long way apart and couldn't have a proper relationship in your opinion, but you expected him not to find anyone else? It sounds like you're being a bit irrational and unreasonable to me.
You dumped him, I think he has every right to move on, no matter what your reasons for dumping him were. To say that you did it because of uni, doesn't change the fact that you still did it.
If you really loved him, you wouldn't have broken up with him over university. You would have at least given it a chance. I know that if I "loved" someone, I would never just give them up like that. Everyone is different though, but I firmly believe that university shouldn't get in the way of love.
What exactly do you want him to do? Do you want him to spend the rest of his life waiting about for someone that doesn't want to be with him, or do you want him to go out there and meet new people? You didn't want him, someone else will. He's doing aboslutely nothing wrong.
Him kissing some other girl might hurt you, what what did your break up do to him? I realise break up's are hard, but you're going to have to move on yourself. You made the decision to break up with him, you need to move on because it seems like that's what he is doing. It's none of your business anymore, so leave him to it. Get out there and enjoy yourself instead of focusing on what he is doing as it will only hurt you.
What exactly do you want him to do? Do you want him to spend the rest of his life waiting about for someone that doesn't want to be with him, or do you want him to go out there and meet new people? You didn't want him, someone else will. He's doing aboslutely nothing wrong.
Him kissing some other girl might hurt you, what what did your break up do to him? I realise break up's are hard, but you're going to have to move on yourself. You made the decision to break up with him, you need to move on because it seems like that's what he is doing. It's none of your business anymore, so leave him to it. Get out there and enjoy yourself instead of focusing on what he is doing as it will only hurt you.
3232
Well, he may still love you, but you're clearly not available to him, so he's trying to move on. It may hurt, but as everyone else has pointed out, you aren't in a relationship no matter what your feelings are. So what did you want him to do, spend the rest of his life mourning your relationship? He had to move on at some point and two months is a fairly long time.
Right you are !! I mean you dumped him and even though he might have feelings for you he's realistic because he understands what you done and why you did it therefore hes trying to move on; has every right to do so too.
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