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Do you think I'm behaving like a stalker or just infatuated? watch

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    oh good gods PARAGRAPHS PLEASE!!!!!!!!

    However after reading through that.

    Yes you are a stalker, you absolute freak. Every waking minute thinking about her? cuddling your pillow and kissing it? Like the way she eats?

    Spoke to her only once in six months? Followed her? Hung around just in case she shows up? Your infatuated over a fantasy. For your own sanity (and this girls possible survival and not ending up like something off criminal minds) - get a hobby

    Frankly kid, your frightening.
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    I read the title, and i can confirm you are a stalker. The fact you had to write a novel about a girl just further highlights that you need help. Also i think instead of spending so much time on a girl, you should probably turn up to English Language classes and learn how to PARAGRAPH.
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by littlenorthernlass)
    I think you are just very, very, very, very, very infatuated. I also feel very sorry for you. I went through a slightly similar 'ordeal'(:lol:) during my last year of sixth form too, though it wasn't as intense as you make yours sound.:eek: Yeeesh. I think the things you do like trying to bump into her or trying to guess what lesson she came from are pretty common things with anyone who's been infatuated at school. I think you sound pretty harmless overall. Nevertheless, my advice would be to keep your distance from her. Frankly, no one would be comfortable knowing that someone had that level of attachment over them. There is little to no chance of you ever getting with her so I would just try to step back the best you can. I know it is very hard when you are that infatuated with someone, or dare I say it, the idea of someone. Hugs:hugs:
    I really hate the idea of doing anything that would make her uncomfortable which is part of why I don't want to tell we how I feel. But having said that I don't want to give up because that small glimmer of hope that maybe we can be together one day makes me happy even if I know how unlikely it is deep down. She literally has every quality I could possibly ask for in a girlfriend and she would be just the perfect person to experience my first kisss and first date first very thing together with her. I had a big crush on a girl when I was 13/14 but not a strong as this one feels. After a long time I realised she was actually quite a mean and nasty person which helped me realise I didn't want to be with her actually. But this girl is just genuinely such a lovely person and it's not just me who thinks this anyone I could ask would agree she's a nice person but this just makes it even harder to get over her because if there's nothin wron with her it must be something to do with me
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    Here's how to tell if it's just a crush or if you're a stalker: imagine yourself reading this to her. Would she be creeped out and run away? If yes, you're a stalker.

    Hint: you're a stalker.
    How do you know she would bec creeped out? Just because you are creeped out doesn't mean she will be.

    Not everybody thinks like you.
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    You have stalkerish behaviour op.
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    You are and it's really unhealthy.

    That and you have to be realistic, how would you even cope if you were to actually end up in a relationship with her? It'd be completely unhealthy. You'd likely end up controlling and you'd be incredibly insecure. It's unlikely she'd get anywhere near to the point of infatuation that you are. There'd be a major inequality/imbalance in the relationship. God forbid you ever broke up?

    Even if you two ended up at a point where you are casual friends, it would send you absolutely insane, you'd be obsessing over every detail of the conversation.

    I think for her sake you have a moral duty to completely avoid her and try to think about something else. I can trust you that this isn't going to end well for you, and her if you actually do start to get to know her better.

    I actually dated someone who was like this with me a couple of years ago when I was WAY more naive. The mental toll it took on me when I realised how deeply obsessed they were with me and just in general how unstable they were really effected me for a long time. It was very difficult to end and jaded me a lot. I think it was way too stressful a situation for a 17 year old to have to go through.

    In my honest opinion you've already violated her privacy quite a lot and done things that would make her feel really uncomfortable and in my opinion show a lack of respect towards her. This can only get worse and I seriously, seriously advise that you leave her alone.

    I know you feel like you have good intentions but this is not what a 'nice guy' would do. You don't really sound like you're in a stable enough position to be in a relationship or are emotionally mature enough.

    I don't want to make you feel guilty, but these are things you need to be aware of.
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    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I really hate the idea of doing anything that would make her uncomfortable which is part of why I don't want to tell we how I feel. But having said that I don't want to give up because that small glimmer of hope that maybe we can be together one day makes me happy even if I know how unlikely it is deep down. She literally has every quality I could possibly ask for in a girlfriend and she would be just the perfect person to experience my first kisss and first date first very thing together with her. I had a big crush on a girl when I was 13/14 but not a strong as this one feels. After a long time I realised she was actually quite a mean and nasty person which helped me realise I didn't want to be with her actually. But this girl is just genuinely such a lovely person and it's not just me who thinks this anyone I could ask would agree she's a nice person but this just makes it even harder to get over her because if there's nothin wron with her it must be something to do with me
    I'm in the exact same situation, however I am 22 and I have never been obsessed with a girl before. I keep reinforcing to myself that she must be special because of this.

    I have done what you have done 2 times (try and be in the same place at the same time as her), after 2 months of not seeing her I was able to focus on my work again, although she had still been glimmering in my mind regularly since.

    Then I saw her again and I am in severe obsession again, not able to focus on anything and extremely unhappy. It's unhealthy and suggest you avoid her, and I will try and take my own advise also.

    But thanks for making this post, as it's helping me also I used to joke about it before with friends at the start, but it's gotten to the point where it's no longer funny.

    (Original post by funky27)
    ....
    Thanks, your post is very helpful for me also.
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    "I even like the way she chews"

    BOY GET HELP
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    (Original post by RonnieRJ)
    "I even like the way she chews"

    BOY GET HELP
    Can I give you a slice of pizza and watch you eat it?
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    (Original post by funky27)
    You are and it's really unhealthy.

    That and you have to be realistic, how would you even cope if you were to actually end up in a relationship with her? It'd be completely unhealthy. You'd likely end up controlling and you'd be incredibly insecure. It's unlikely she'd get anywhere near to the point of infatuation that you are. There'd be a major inequality/imbalance in the relationship. God forbid you ever broke up?

    Even if you two ended up at a point where you are casual friends, it would send you absolutely insane, you'd be obsessing over every detail of the conversation.

    I think for her sake you have a moral duty to completely avoid her and try to think about something else. I can trust you that this isn't going to end well for you, and her if you actually do start to get to know her better.

    I actually dated someone who was like this with me a couple of years ago when I was WAY more naive. The mental toll it took on me when I realised how deeply obsessed they were with me and just in general how unstable they were really effected me for a long time. It was very difficult to end and jaded me a lot. I think it was way too stressful a situation for a 17 year old to have to go through.

    In my honest opinion you've already violated her privacy quite a lot and done things that would make her feel really uncomfortable and in my opinion show a lack of respect towards her. This can only get worse and I seriously, seriously advise that you leave her alone.

    I know you feel like you have good intentions but this is not what a 'nice guy' would do. You don't really sound like you're in a stable enough position to be in a relationship or are emotionally mature enough.

    I don't want to make you feel guilty, but these are things you need to be aware of.
    I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, I just adore her and honestly do think the world of her. I'm only angry at her ex because of how he treated her and really don't like that. I would honestly do anything for just one day together if I could
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, I just adore her and honestly do think the world of her. I'm only angry at her ex because of how he treated her and really don't like that. I would honestly do anything for just one day together if I could
    See, you're trying to rationalise this into you being some uber-altruistic person who would never want to hurt her, and I think the only reason you need to do that is because on some level you're aware it's abnormal, your gut's telling you this isn't right, and this is your way of compensating for that.

    I don't think you're a bad person but you really do need to let go of this person and stop yourself from thinking about them.
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    I think the correct word is psychopath.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, I just adore her and honestly do think the world of her. I'm only angry at her ex because of how he treated her and really don't like that. I would honestly do anything for just one day together if I could
    Dude you hardly even know her, but have just built up an unhealthy infatuation with her and filled in all the blanks yourself. You must realise your behaviour is unhealthy, so perhaps come back to the real world and talk to her if you like her.

    She might like you back or she might be indifferent or reject you. Those are the risks we all take.
    • #1
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    (Original post by funky27)
    See, you're trying to rationalise this into you being some uber-altruistic person who would never want to hurt her, and I think the only reason you need to do that is because on some level you're aware it's abnormal, your gut's telling you this isn't right, and this is your way of compensating for that.

    I don't think you're a bad person but you really do need to let go of this person and stop yourself from thinking about them.
    I know it's abnormal but I don't feel like it something I can control. I just have such strong feelings about her. I don't wanna let go just yet because I am gonna feel destroyed if I have to give up and I really just wanna keep a glimmer of hope because I enjoy the feeling of fantasies about her and imagining us together. I always think about stuff like introducing her to my parents because I know they would really like her
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    It hurts me so much
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It hurts me so much
    Dude you're watching the girl chew her food and imagining your pillow is her... Go read this out to your parents and see if they give you a pat on the back and tell you to ask her out, or if they give you a stern talking to about criminal records.
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    Welcome Squad
    Wow this is beyond too much dude. Really really too much. You like the way she chews? What?!

    And for heavens sake will you do the world a favour and learn what a paragraph is.
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    Only read some of it but my stalker radar is already going off.
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    I think the people here are being a bit too harsh. I wouldn't call you a stalker. Stalkers, usually, follow people home and have sick intentions, and are usually like creepy old men. Sure - what you do may be deemed slightly creepy by some people, but honestly - to me, it just seems like serious infatuation. I think you shouldn't listen to people on here, you're only young and sometimes having a 'crush' isn't easy, especially when the two of you aren't so close. I think you should just really impress her, and then ask her out before school ends. Now or never, right?
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    Ask her out or regret it.

    Stop being a wimp.
 
 
 
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