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Do you think I'm behaving like a stalker or just infatuated? watch

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    Oh dear, OP. I'm afraid to say, you are both infatuated and a stalker. If I were her and I'd realised that you were doing this, I would be very afraid and not interested in you whatsoever.

    Spending everyday in the library in the hope of seeing her because you know she attends the library, figuring out where she lives, changing your route on the off chance you can speak to her, feeling like you want to kill her ex boyfriend because he treated her badly, staring at her eating her sandwich. Seriously, this is not normal or healthy behaviour. For your own sanity, you need to accept that this is all a fantasy; you don't really even know the girl, you've spoken to her once. And yes, her ex treated her badly, and it might be normal to feel a bit sorry for her and think he was a prick, but to feel so much rage that you want to kill him (even though you wouldn't) and get insanely jealous when thinking of him is just beyond the realms of normal I'm afraid.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For the last year I have had a massive crush on this girl. I liked her from the moment I first interacted with her, she was exactly my type in every single way, she seemed very sweet and really cute. At first it was just a small crush but even though we only talked a handful of times I kept liking her more and more and more as I found out more about her. I started to think about her very often, I went on forums because I wanted to tell people about her and I really just wanted to share how much I liked her and how I felt and how amazing I thought he was. I started to do some things that I guess could be seen as creepy, first I began figuring out her timetable at school, were both 18 years old in final year at school and take different subjects ( I have no girls in my classes due I the subjects I took ), I would figure out what lesson h had come from by when and where I saw her in the corridor and then base the routes around school I took around that so I could see her in the corridor. Then I took it a step further, I realised she sometimes stays in the school library after school so I decided I would go every single day in hope of interacting with her and I have stuck with this and go to the library for atleast and hour, usually much longer every single day for the past 6 months even though in that entire time I've only spoke to her once when she's been there because I hoped it would happen again and I just wanted to do everything in my power to maximise the chances of talking to her.The next thing I did was I started taking an different route home once I figured out where she lived because I wanted to have a chance of talking with her then and I also come that route in the morning as we'll now and even though I have still yet to talk to her as a result of this I still do it because I get to look at her and see her hair and watch her walk which makes my heart feel all fluttery and butterflies everywhere. I have also developed a bit of an issue with her ex boyfriend, he cheated on her after just one month an thankfully she was self respecting enough to dump him but I can't get over how ****ing disgusting it is the way he treated her because I would literally do anything possible to be able to be in his position and it would make me so so so so happy just to be able to walk down the street with her and have her smile at me while we chat. I get flashbacks to seeing them both together and I just feel like I want to kill him I'm so angry and jealous (obviously I'm not gonna actually do anything stupid) but he realy isn't a nice guy at all, if it was a nice guy I could accept it and I would be very very jealous but at least I could get why she choose him but he just tricked her and I can't understand why she fell for it. He didnt appreciate her at all he just saw her as a girl to use and then throw in the trash once he'd gotten what he wanted but I would appreciate her so so so much and always remind her that she makes me the happiest person alive just by being near me. Also recently I heard him make a crude joke about her which angered me even more. Why do people who don't deserve these things get them when I've put tons of effort into trying to get somewhere with her but I'm very shy so I can't just talk to her out of the blue I need good excuses and it's hard to come up with stuff in the heat of the moment. Even though circumstance hasn't been kind to me for the most part about 5-6 months ago I had an absolute golden oppurtunity to ask her out or at least ask for her phone number, but I got tongue tied and very nervous, couldn't get the words out so I just said Hi then she smiled and said hi back and ran off because I was so nervous about askin for her phone number, I won't go into details but it was easily the best oppurtunity I had and with 6 weeks of school remaining before we never see each other again it's unlikely I'll get another one. As for the girl herself we'll obviously I think she is amazing but she really is one in a million, she sweet, kind, always smiley never grumpy or moody, she's a bit of nerd which I like and quite shy like me I guess lol and I think she is very very pretty as well. I adore lots of small details about her as well, I am crazy about her voice, sometimes I'll sit near her and one of her friends and just read a book but really I'm just listening to her talk because it the most amazing sound known to man and I get to know her better from listening to her conversations with others as I'm too shy to actually talk to her myself, (but I have talked to her a handful of times by only when I've seen a good oppurtunity). I like the way she walks and the clothes she wears, she dresses classy but really cute as well, I find it super adorable the way she dresses, I even like things like the way she chews her food, I was staring at her across the room while she was eating a sandwich and the way she did it seemed really graceful and I keep playing that moment back because it was really beautiful. I also replay the moment I mentioned previously back to myself over and over and over again because there's no one to blame but myself it that case for not asking for her number. I start to hate myself for being too shy to ask for it, I literally could be with a girl who it better than the girl of my dream because she's better than anything I could possibly imagine, if only I wasn't so pathetic and shy. It's gotten to the point know where I spend every waking moment fantasising about her, and dream about her every single night, I even cuddle my pillow and kiss it for ages while laying in bed falling asleep and whisper her name over an over again while doing it so it feels like I'm really with her. Sleeping is the part I my day I like the most because I get to be with her in my dreams. I won't go on any longer even though there's more I want to say about her but basically there's like 2 month left of school till it ends forever and I have to grow up and get a job and I like her so so much, obviously if I get and oppurtunity where I can ask her out I will go for it but it seems unlikely that will happen so should I just try my hardest to enjoy seeing her for the final times or should I get over her completely before it all ends. I feel like the last day is gonna hurt like mad because I don't get to see her anymore, and honestly I am satisfied with just pining over her from a far and getting my daily dose of looking at her but soon I can't even do that. Obviously I'd love to do more like date her but if life could stay like this forever id be ok with that. I feel I'm never gonna meet someone else I like as much as I like her and I've blown my one chance at happiness
    At the end of the day, you're acting like a biatch, sorry to say.. but you'll never get any girl even an oger if you're like this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it's abnormal but I don't feel like it something I can control. I just have such strong feelings about her. I don't wanna let go just yet because I am gonna feel destroyed if I have to give up and I really just wanna keep a glimmer of hope because I enjoy the feeling of fantasies about her and imagining us together. I always think about stuff like introducing her to my parents because I know they would really like her
    The more you write the more abnormal your behaviour comes across. As said in an earlier post imagine how she would react if she read your post? She would freak out at the very least. Many people get infatuated at some stage, but your posts now seem to indicate you could do with going to see your GP and getting some counseling/therapy.
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    I had this weird experience where I borrowed someone's laptop who had a crush on my friend. He'd been googling stuff about her every day for the past nine months, found her parents and googled them, found where she lived and googled the area's demographics, checked her Facebook every single day, found her MySpace alias and googled the alias hoping to find more stuff..
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    (Original post by mulberry1)
    I had this weird experience where I borrowed someone's laptop who had a crush on my friend. He'd been googling stuff about her every day for the past nine months, found her parents and googled them, found where she lived and googled the area's demographics, checked her Facebook every single day, found her MySpace alias and googled the alias hoping to find more stuff..
    Then what?


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    The way you talk about her is so adorable. I would say you're infactuated, slightly obsessed though but it's clear you really like her.

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    (Original post by Sazzy890)
    Oh dear, OP. I'm afraid to say, you are both infatuated and a stalker. If I were her and I'd realised that you were doing this, I would be very afraid and not interested in you whatsoever.

    Spending everyday in the library in the hope of seeing her because you know she attends the library, figuring out where she lives, changing your route on the off chance you can speak to her, feeling like you want to kill her ex boyfriend because he treated her badly, staring at her eating her sandwich. Seriously, this is not normal or healthy behaviour. For your own sanity, you need to accept that this is all a fantasy; you don't really even know the girl, you've spoken to her once. And yes, her ex treated her badly, and it might be normal to feel a bit sorry for her and think he was a prick, but to feel so much rage that you want to kill him (even though you wouldn't) and get insanely jealous when thinking of him is just beyond the realms of normal I'm afraid.
    She shouldn't be afraid, I would never ever ever do anything to hurt her. I just have lots of affection but can't give it to her. She's the most amazing person I've ever known and would trade years of my life for just 1 day with her
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She shouldn't be afraid, I would never ever ever do anything to hurt her. I just have lots of affection but can't give it to her. She's the most amazing person I've ever known and would trade years of my life for just 1 day with her
    You scare me


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    You may not ever do anything to hurt her, but this kind of behaviour would frighten anyone. Sorry.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She shouldn't be afraid, I would never ever ever do anything to hurt her. I just have lots of affection but can't give it to her. She's the most amazing person I've ever known and would trade years of my life for just 1 day with her
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    (Original post by Sazzy890)
    You may not ever do anything to hurt her, but this kind of behaviour would frighten anyone. Sorry.
    So what should I have done instead? What would you have done in my position? If you had met someone who you genuinely felt was the perfect human being surely you would want to put yourself is as many situations as possible where you might be able to talk to him/her
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    I have been very interested in people before who I thought seemed awesome, but who I realistically may not end up getting the opportunity to see again. In such scenarios I have maybe looked them up on facebook and tried to have a chat through there, or done some brief digging through mutual friends e.g. as to if they are going to a certain party or something. But if nothing came of that I just forgot about it and assumed I probably wouldn't see them again, briefly think what a shame it is but that's life. I certainly wouldn't have gone to the extent of trying to be everywhere they might be in the hope of seeing them again. And especially not for an extended period of time.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So what should I have done instead? What would you have done in my position? If you had met someone who you genuinely felt was the perfect human being surely you would want to put yourself is as many situations as possible where you might be able to talk to him/her
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    But my crush doesn't use facebook
    (Original post by Sazzy890)
    I have been very interested in people before who I thought seemed awesome, but who I realistically may not end up getting the opportunity to see again. In such scenarios I have maybe looked them up on facebook and tried to have a chat through there, or done some brief digging through mutual friends e.g. as to if they are going to a certain party or something. But if nothing came of that I just forgot about it and assumed I probably wouldn't see them again, briefly think what a shame it is but that's life. I certainly wouldn't have gone to the extent of trying to be everywhere they might be in the hope of seeing them again. And especially not for an extended period of time.
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    One of the problems you face with infatuation is that the person is placed on a pedestal and nobody in real life can ever live up to the fantasy you have constructed in your own life. Break the bubble and talk to her or continued thinking like you have displayed could develop into soemthing more permanent, which will get in the way of you ever getting a gf. You are simply making excuses for lots of your behavioyr which everyone else recognises as abnormal. Go and see your GP to get some therapy.
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    This is actually quite cute. Apart from the following home thing...
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    One of the problems you face with infatuation is that the person is placed on a pedestal and nobody in real life can ever live up to the fantasy you have constructed in your own life. Break the bubble and talk to her or continued thinking like you have displayed could develop into soemthing more permanent, which will get in the way of you ever getting a gf. You are simply making excuses for lots of your behavioyr which everyone else recognises as abnormal. Go and see your GP to get some therapy.
    Everything I have said about her is true it's not made up she is a lovely and nice and sweet as I have described.


    (Original post by studentfeed)
    This is actually quite cute. Apart from the following home thing...
    I don't follow her home I just changed my route home so that it overlaps with hers it's takes like 10 mins longer everyday but I don't mind it's worth it even for a 0.001% chance of being with her
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    You are too close to it. You dont realise how abnormal your posting is. Its been said before if you showed her what you have written what do you think she would think? From your own admission you have hardly spoken to her and you dont know her, so you are projecting.
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    Just ask her out mannnnn- you will regret it. Just tone it down...
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    You sound like Lennie from Of Mice and Men
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    You want people to read that on top of the essays they have to complete lmao you gotta be bluffing.
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    I wish paragraphs would stalk you.
 
 
 
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