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My parents aren't letting my study :( watch

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    Okay so I'm in Year 12 and, as you know, exams are fairly soon. The trouble is my parents are not letting me study and as a result the weeks become very stressful and I cannot get any revision or independent study going.

    Instead of studying they're asking me to help them in the garden, which I'm happy to do for an hour or two once in a while. But the thing is, they're asking me to take up 4 full days of the Easter holiday to help them. These 4 days are also on the days I had planned to rest, because it's during the easter weekend. So I'm now left with no rest during the holidays and fewer days of revision.

    This is not the first time. During the February half term I had to spend 5 days helping them in the garden, and today I despite having loads of work to do they forced me to spend 6 hours today and are forcing me to do another 6 hours tomorrow. It's interesting to note that my sister, who is of the same ability as me and gets asked to do very little, does significantly better grade wise because she gets the time to study.

    I think it's important to note that the time spent helping out isn't the only issue, it's also the use of energy. I am very tired and when I finish helping I cannot do anything in the evenings because I'm even more tired.

    My parents don't understand how much work is required to get the grades I'm aiming for, and althoguh I'm on track for mostly As - I do not feel like I'm going to get them because I'm constantly held back. Neither completed A-levels or went university and neither tried particularly hard. So they don't understand the workload, stress and important of these upcoming exams.

    It got to the point today that when I was arguing with my dad about it, he said I could not go out and see my friends and said I was a "liar" because he thinks when I'm studying after school I'm not actually studying. He then preceded to call me "selfish" because I'm not wanting to help with his sh*tty garden that will in no way benefit me and is only hindering me from what I can achieve.

    What should I do about this? I can't go to the library, because when I last asked to go we had to have an argument and in the end he only let me go there for an hour. I cannot see my friends and do work because I'm grounded (YES 17 AND GROUNDED) as I keep arguing with my dad about it. I feel like if I talk to school about it they'll just ignore me.

    It's just become too much, and when I got in after today's six hours I just broke down in the shower.

    Before anyone asks, I do chores most days which I'm happy doing because I can't expect to get everything and give nothing back. It's just sh*tty projects like these.
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    Grow a back bone and say no...


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    (Original post by AccountingBabe)
    Grow a back bone and say no...


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    Lol that's the first thing I do.

    Never works.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol that's the first thing I do.

    Never works.
    How does it not work? Do they drag you to the garden?


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    (Original post by AccountingBabe)
    How does it not work? Do they drag you to the garden?


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    Pretty sure he would if I'm honest. Would rather save the hassle.

    He always says that I'll need to do "one more thing", which I say okay to but then it'll go on for hours. His reasoning for me helping is that my mum can't do labour required and so I have to help. Which is perfectly reasonable. But I simply don't have the time to do it and he says that's not a good enough reason. What else can I say to that? If I go on about workload, stress or importance he always talks about the stuff he does. The argument will be the same, over and over again - I literally cannot win.
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    become a gardener
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    Hire a gardener
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    (Original post by FaisalNaeem03)
    become a gardener
    Great.
    (Original post by luciie)
    Hire a gardener
    I suggested that to him before he started. He said because it's 'his' project, he wants to do it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Great.


    I suggested that to him before he started. He said because it's 'his' project, he wants to do it.
    If it's 'his' project he can expect to do it himself then. Or do what he's asking you wrong so that he'll get frustrated and do it himself. What exactly do you have to do in the garden?

    We only mown the lawn like once a month :/ Ik that's not exactly gardening :lol:
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    Tell him to get lost?

    Or just go to library or something.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay so I'm in Year 12 and, as you know, exams are fairly soon. The trouble is my parents are not letting me study and as a result the weeks become very stressful and I cannot get any revision or independent study going.

    Instead of studying they're asking me to help them in the garden, which I'm happy to do for an hour or two once in a while. But the thing is, they're asking me to take up 4 full days of the Easter holiday to help them. These 4 days are also on the days I had planned to rest, because it's during the easter weekend. So I'm now left with no rest during the holidays and fewer days of revision.

    This is not the first time. During the February half term I had to spend 5 days helping them in the garden, and today I despite having loads of work to do they forced me to spend 6 hours today and are forcing me to do another 6 hours tomorrow. It's interesting to note that my sister, who is of the same ability as me and gets asked to do very little, does significantly better grade wise because she gets the time to study.

    I think it's important to note that the time spent helping out isn't the only issue, it's also the use of energy. I am very tired and when I finish helping I cannot do anything in the evenings because I'm even more tired.

    My parents don't understand how much work is required to get the grades I'm aiming for, and although I'm on track for mostly As - I do not feel like I'm going to get them because I'm constantly held back. Neither completed A-levels or went university and neither tried particularly hard. So they don't understand the workload, stress and important of these upcoming exams.

    It got to the point today that when I was arguing with my dad about it, he said I could not go out and see my friends and said I was a "liar" because he thinks when I'm studying after school I'm not actually studying. He then preceded to call me "selfish" because I'm not wanting to help with his sh*tty garden that will in no way benefit me and is only hindering me from what I can achieve.

    What should I do about this? I can't go to the library, because when I last asked to go we had to have an argument and in the end he only let me go there for an hour. I cannot see my friends and do work because I'm grounded (YES 17 AND GROUNDED) as I keep arguing with my dad about it. I feel like if I talk to school about it they'll just ignore me.

    It's just become too much, and when I got in after today's six hours I just broke down in the shower.

    Before anyone asks, I do chores most days which I'm happy doing because I can't expect to get everything and give nothing back. It's just sh*tty projects like these.
    The master of Arguments and Annoying ppl is here lets do this ****

    1. Ask your parents why they won't make your sister do it. You could use something like "why can't you get XXX to do it?" or "I'm a bit busy ask someone else to do it please" or if you're willing to do it later then " I'm a bit busy i'll do it later" Alos i'm in agreement with you that it's not fair that your sister doesn't get asked do anything around the house...

    2&3. Oh but they do understand because if they don't bother your sister while she's learning and studying then that shows their understanding of that or they're just super biased and hate you or don't like you or cba to do anything so they just ask you to do it all.

    4. Not sure what i can say about the friends bit..... HOWEVER you can show and prove to him you do actually do work by showing him what you've done during your time while studying. Maybe showing him what you're planning to do then do it and show him after if he believes that you don't work.

    5. Easy call him "selfish" for not letting you study and get grades to go to uni and get a job and live your own life. Why is it fair he gets to ruin YOUR future for something he wants doing?

    6. Again there are way in which you can show him what you've achieved in the time you have spent studying.

    7. Dude you're strong as f**k for pushing through all this bull***t and still managing to pull through with some of those shining predicted A's you said you're on track for. Keep believing in yourself and soon you'll be able to go to uni and live by yourself and study quietly.

    P.s If there's anything argumentative you want me to help you out with just chat just say and i'm sure i can come back with something
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Great.


    I suggested that to him before he started. He said because it's 'his' project, he wants to do it.
    I see a solution.
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    How big is your garden?!

    Just tell them you want to prioritise your studies, so can only help out x amount of hours, and that after exams you can help them out as much as they need.
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    If you say no and they still try to drag you just trash the garden. Serves them right

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He always says that I'll need to do "one more thing", which I say okay to but then it'll go on for hours. His reasoning for me helping is that my mum can't do labour required and so I have to help. Which is perfectly reasonable. But I simply don't have the time to do it and he says that's not a good enough reason. What else can I say to that? If I go on about workload, stress or importance he always talks about the stuff he does. The argument will be the same, over and over again - I literally cannot win.
    1. If it's many small things then just tell him it's one thing which is what he stated thus you are done and go back to studying, If it's something which will take a long time tell him you'll only do it on the conditions that you get to study tomorrow, strike a deal with him.
    2. It is a good enough reason, I can't give you a counter since you haven't stated what your dad has said when he "talks about the stuff he does" as put by you.
    (Original post by Anonymous)

    I suggested that to him before he started. He said because it's 'his' project, he wants to do it.
    1. YES YES YES that's right it's his project thus he should do it. Since he wants it HIS way then the best way is for HIM to do it because it'll be exactly how HE wants it. Yes he can tell you to do it but it's all about the smaller minute details when you embark on a project. He can't stand for 6 hours telling you to every small thing exactly how he wants.
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    Perhaps go to the library to revise ?
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    assisnate him lol
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    do it wrong, they wont ask you again

    its what i do
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    (Original post by FormallyIndecent)
    do it wrong, they wont ask you again

    its what i do
    I run away upstairs sometimes and they don't bother calling me back down
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    (Original post by Carrot_Cake_13)
    I run away upstairs sometimes and they don't bother calling me back down
    yeah xD or pretend you're sick
 
 
 
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