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I have a high libido and my husband has a low libido Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I want to have sex a lot, and my husband could deal with having sex about once every three weeks. I find it really upsetting. He has told me once that he's not attracted to me, cos I'd gained a bit of weight. But I have really worked on it and lost it. It really hurt me because I adore my husband and we've been through a lot together. We're both young but fell in love and got married (just over 6 months ago)

    We live with his family so sometimes have privacy issues (our room is next to the living room). So we go away ever so often.

    He has bought me sex toys to try and help my high libido, but it's not the same as having sex with him. I love the closeness I feel when we have sex.

    He goes to the gym more to increase his libido, but due to pressure of his job, he gets tired a lot.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to have sex a lot, and my husband could deal with having sex about once every three weeks. I find it really upsetting. He has told me once that he's not attracted to me, cos I'd gained a bit of weight. But I have really worked on it and lost it. It really hurt me because I adore my husband and we've been through a lot together. We're both young but fell in love and got married (just over 6 months ago)

    We live with his family so sometimes have privacy issues (our room is next to the living room). So we go away ever so often.

    He has bought me sex toys to try and help my high libido, but it's not the same as having sex with him. I love the closeness I feel when we have sex.

    He goes to the gym more to increase his libido, but due to pressure of his job, he gets tired a lot.
    it's a shame that you didn't figure out the difference in your libidos before you got married....

    tbh it kinda of freaking rude that he doesn't want to have sex with you cause you gained a little weight? Why get married and eternally pledge yourself to someone in good AND bad if you're going to be so shallow, anyway tell him to grow some balls and **** you right.

    jk. You said he's trying to go the gym etc which is good on his part. What else can you really do? Try initiating more to get him up.
    • #3
    #3

    Maybe discussing your issues on a public forum won't solve anything.
    Communication is key, speak to him. If he's still having issues seek medical help. Express how to feel about the situation and reassure him..
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    when he's tired give him blowjobs, or why don't you just ride him when he's tired that way he doesn't have to do much work?

    it's a shame that you didn't figure out the difference in your libidos before you got married....


    tbh it kinda of freaking rude that he doesn't want to have sex with you cause you gained a little weight? Why get married and eternally pledge yourself to someone in good AND bad if you're going to be so shallow, anyway tell him to grow some balls and f**k you right.

    jk. You said he's trying to go the gym etc which is good on his part. What else can you really do? Try initiating more to get him up.
    He gets erections, its the foreplay he finds quite tiresome. And I find it incredibly painful if I don't have foreplay.

    I give him regular blowjobs, sometimes when we're watching TV and I am turned on I just give him a blow job. He gets an erection but doesn't want sex.

    He had a higher libido before we got married.

    I always initiate it. The few times he has, I've been on my period.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Maybe discussing your issues on a public forum won't solve anything.
    Communication is key, speak to him. If he's still having issues seek medical help. Express how to feel about the situation and reassure him..
    I have spoken to him, he has gone to a doctor. All the doctor said was go to the gym. Keep a picture of me in his wallet - so he must have mentioned the fact that he found it hard for a bit to be attracted to me. It was just due to all the post wedding parties, and change in my life that messed up my exercise and diet routine.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to have sex a lot, and my husband could deal with having sex about once every three weeks. I find it really upsetting. He has told me once that he's not attracted to me, cos I'd gained a bit of weight. But I have really worked on it and lost it. It really hurt me because I adore my husband and we've been through a lot together. We're both young but fell in love and got married (just over 6 months ago)

    We live with his family so sometimes have privacy issues (our room is next to the living room). So we go away ever so often.

    He has bought me sex toys to try and help my high libido, but it's not the same as having sex with him. I love the closeness I feel when we have sex.

    He goes to the gym more to increase his libido, but due to pressure of his job, he gets tired a lot.
    1. maybe push him to his limit first and see if he can do that and maybe slowly decrease the time between sex, so after 3 weeks maybe 2 weeks and 6 days and so on.
    2. are you sure he really loves you? if he says something like that and doesn't suggest you do something about it?
    3. Personally this is one of the reasons i don't want to ever get married, it's if we love each other for like 6 months then from then on it's as if we're strangers living in the same house and married.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by thefatone)
    1. maybe push him to his limit first and see if he can do that and maybe slowly decrease the time between sex, so after 3 weeks maybe 2 weeks and 6 days and so on.
    2. are you sure he really loves you? if he says something like that and doesn't suggest you do something about it?
    3. Personally this is one of the reasons i don't want to ever get married, it's if we love each other for like 6 months then from then on it's as if we're strangers living in the same house and married.
    I will try that, but it's so hard. I've moved out for a week to just give him some space and time to miss me. I have spoken to him about divorce because I don't want to cheat, but he might just push me over the edge if he doesn't want to have sex. He said no, it is really evident that he loves me. He's a really good husband and friend to me, he just doesn't want to have sex with me as often as I do.
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    I do think one has a moral obligation to have sex with one's spouse roughly once a week, if you are capable.
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    This guy might need to change his diet, but yeah stress is a huge killer of libido believe me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will try that, but it's so hard. I've moved out for a week to just give him some space and time to miss me. I have spoken to him about divorce because I don't want to cheat, but he might just push me over the edge if he doesn't want to have sex. He said no, it is really evident that he loves me. He's a really good husband and friend to me, he just doesn't want to have sex with me as often as I do.
    1. self control, how long can you control your desires? :/
    2. i'm not really sure what to say ;( i dunno maybe it's daily stress, maybe ask him if there's anything you can do for him?
    • #4
    #4

    Urgh... This is akward.
    Options:
    1) Make do with the toys
    2) Talk to him
    3) Blowjobs? You do all the work, and slowly turn him on?
    4) If worst comes to worst, suggest an open relationship?
    BTW, i would be quite insulted if he told me i'd gained weight. How much do you really love this guy?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by thefatone)
    1. self control, how long can you control your desires? :/
    2. i'm not really sure what to say ;( i dunno maybe it's daily stress, maybe ask him if there's anything you can do for him?
    I work out, go for walks. Not sure what else to do

    I really help him with his work load, he's a teacher so I help him mark his students' books. I also help him with his laundry and ironing sometimes so he doesn't have to worry about it. Make packed lunches for both of us. Look after his elderly mum who lives with us. I'm a student so I have a bit more time but the constant fighting and rejections have really taken its toll on my studies.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to have sex a lot, and my husband could deal with having sex about once every three weeks. I find it really upsetting. He has told me once that he's not attracted to me, cos I'd gained a bit of weight. But I have really worked on it and lost it. It really hurt me because I adore my husband and we've been through a lot together. We're both young but fell in love and got married (just over 6 months ago)

    We live with his family so sometimes have privacy issues (our room is next to the living room). So we go away ever so often.

    He has bought me sex toys to try and help my high libido, but it's not the same as having sex with him. I love the closeness I feel when we have sex.

    He goes to the gym more to increase his libido, but due to pressure of his job, he gets tired a lot.
    Usually it's the woman who doesn't have libido.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I work out, go for walks. Not sure what else to do

    I really help him with his work load, he's a teacher so I help him mark his students' books. I also help him with his laundry and ironing sometimes so he doesn't have to worry about it. Make packed lunches for both of us. Look after his elderly mum who lives with us. I'm a student so I have a bit more time but the constant fighting and rejections have really taken its toll on my studies.

    well it sounds like you're doing the best you can but i don't think there's anything more you can do :/
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Urgh... This is akward.
    Options:
    1) Make do with the toys
    2) Talk to him
    3) Blowjobs? You do all the work, and slowly turn him on?
    4) If worst comes to worst, suggest an open relationship?
    BTW, i would be quite insulted if he told me i'd gained weight. How much do you really love this guy?
    We have good communication and we've talked about it, even gone to a marriage counsellor who suggested going away, paying eachother compliments (and me accepting them - because my self esteem has really gone down after he said he wasn't attracted to me)

    I love blow jobs so do it often. I just feel quite pathetic while he lies there while I am so turned on, he has elections while this happens but he just want to have sex. Ive even worn kinky clothes that he likes which actually make my skin crawl cos I look like a street Walker. But I wore it just so he'd Want to have sex with me. I sound so pathetic :'(

    Open relationships are a no go. I am bi but could only be in a relationship with a guy
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We have good communication and we've talked about it, even gone to a marriage counsellor who suggested going away, paying eachother compliments (and me accepting them - because my self esteem has really gone down after he said he wasn't attracted to me)

    I love blow jobs so do it often. I just feel quite pathetic while he lies there while I am so turned on, he has elections while this happens but he just want to have sex. Ive even worn kinky clothes that he likes which actually make my skin crawl cos I look like a street Walker. But I wore it just so he'd Want to have sex with me. I sound so pathetic :'(

    Open relationships are a no go. I am bi but could only be in a relationship with a guy

    Really. Why?

    I think they seem logical nowadays for many people.
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    I think a degree of libido mismatch is very common in long term relationships, certainly mine. And it's a cause of some discontent to be honest. Difficult to deal with as sex drive is a little like hunger, if you don't feel like it you don't feel like it. The things that have worked for me and trying to communicate rather than get grumpy when you feel rejected, having some informal deals and trying to live them - once a week on average seems like a reasonable compromise. Plus I always reflect that the quantity and quality of my sex life is far superior to some frustrating periods when single. Good luck.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We have good communication and we've talked about it, even gone to a marriage counsellor who suggested going away, paying eachother compliments (and me accepting them - because my self esteem has really gone down after he said he wasn't attracted to me)

    I love blow jobs so do it often. I just feel quite pathetic while he lies there while I am so turned on, he has elections while this happens but he just want to have sex. Ive even worn kinky clothes that he likes which actually make my skin crawl cos I look like a street Walker. But I wore it just so he'd Want to have sex with me. I sound so pathetic :'(

    Open relationships are a no go. I am bi but could only be in a relationship with a guy
    Your husband doesn't realize how lucky he is to have a wife like you, that wants to have sex , because usually it's the wife who doesn't want to do it.
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    tell him to take low doses of trenbolone acetate and testosterone
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to have sex a lot, and my husband could deal with having sex about once every three weeks.
    :lolwut:
 
 
 
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