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Difficulty orgasming with partners watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Ok this is a culmination of lots of things together which I think lead to this, which I'll list now. Any advice how to get over this will be appreciated. This may be a bit too much information for people, I'm sorry.

    I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with my first boyfriend, where he basically said things like "I'm so upset, if you don't have sex with my I'll cut myself." So I never thought of sex as something for me. My next boyfriend of 2 years saw sex as something he deserved and didn't try to please me. At uni, I was raped by a stranger. My next boyfriend of 3 years made me feel special and mean something, but for the last couple of months of the relationship I didn't feel comfortable having sex.

    I haven't had an orgasm once with any of these people and I always fake it. My current boyfriend is the best sex I've had and he's awesome at going down on me, which my other partners didn't. This feel amazing but I still can't orgasm. And I'm still faking but it does feel really really good.

    I spent about 3 years masturbating using a really strong vibrator, which was quick and amazing and many many times each time I used it. I thought maybe this desensitized me, but I realised for the last 6 months that when I tried to masturbate without one, it was too difficult to come, so I just always went back to the vibrator.

    Then today I spent a lot of "me" time and I finally did, without a vibrator, so at least I know I haven't "lost" my ability. And it wasn't that difficult once I was turned on and I could a few times.

    But normally I can't get turned on if I'm just by myself but I get really turned when I'm with a partner.

    How can I use any of this information to orgasm with a partner? I'm sorry if this was TMI.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok this is a culmination of lots of things together which I think lead to this, which I'll list now. Any advice how to get over this will be appreciated. This may be a bit too much information for people, I'm sorry.

    I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with my first boyfriend, where he basically said things like "I'm so upset, if you don't have sex with my I'll cut myself." So I never thought of sex as something for me. My next boyfriend of 2 years saw sex as something he deserved and didn't try to please me. At uni, I was raped by a stranger. My next boyfriend of 3 years made me feel special and mean something, but for the last couple of months of the relationship I didn't feel comfortable having sex.

    I haven't had an orgasm once with any of these people and I always fake it. My current boyfriend is the best sex I've had and he's awesome at going down on me, which my other partners didn't. This feel amazing but I still can't orgasm. And I'm still faking but it does feel really really good.

    I spent about 3 years masturbating using a really strong vibrator, which was quick and amazing and many many times each time I used it. I thought maybe this desensitized me, but I realised for the last 6 months that when I tried to masturbate without one, it was too difficult to come, so I just always went back to the vibrator.

    Then today I spent a lot of "me" time and I finally did, without a vibrator, so at least I know I haven't "lost" my ability. And it wasn't that difficult once I was turned on and I could a few times.

    But normally I can't get turned on if I'm just by myself but I get really turned when I'm with a partner.

    How can I use any of this information to orgasm with a partner? I'm sorry if this was TMI.
    I guess you should keep trying to masturbate without a vibrator for a while or maybe try something else that turns you on like getting your parter to do it or doing it in front of him. Something like that. Don't know how you fake an orgasm but okay. Maybe you are just a bit desensitised due to some of the stuff that's happened to you and you need to re understand what sex is like.
    • #3
    #3

    If a vibrator works for you then there's nothing wrong with that!
    Incorporate using it into your sex life with your partner.

    I'm a guy and my gf is the same. she could only orgasm if i used a vibrator and not from sex (penetration) or going down on her, though she really enjoyed it and it felt really good for her but my jaw/tongue always get too tired before she can orgasm so its like torture for her haha. Anyway she normally uses her vibrator (or i use it on her) as foreplay to make her orgasm before penetrative sex.
 
 
 
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