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    I'm in Year 12 and have started looking at my options in terms of University. I'm from the north and have been considering southern uni's (such as Bath, Surrey, etc), and I actually want to move far away, gain independence and live in a place that is completely new to me.
    Despite this being something I want, my parents keep pushing me to think about unis closer to home. I know they're doing it because they're scared of me being too far away, but I'm finding it a bit frustrating.
    Does anyone else have this problem? How do I convince them to let me make my own decisions???
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    (Original post by catwat99)
    I'm in Year 12 and have started looking at my options in terms of University. I'm from the north and have been considering southern uni's (such as Bath, Surrey, etc), and I actually want to move far away, gain independence and live in a place that is completely new to me.
    Despite this being something I want, my parents keep pushing me to think about unis closer to home. I know they're doing it because they're scared of me being too far away, but I'm finding it a bit frustrating.
    Does anyone else have this problem? How do I convince them to let me make my own decisions???
    maybe it's the financial side of things?
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    I'm moving from the midlands to the south and my family, mother mainly, are worried about it.

    Just tell them what you posted here; "I actually want to move far away, gain independence and live in a place that is completely new to me". Then hand them each a snickers bar and refer to advert.
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    Are you asian? Could be they don't want you to go far so they can keep an eye on you.
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    (Original post by thefatone)
    maybe it's the financial side of things?
    I'm going to be completely responsible for my own money once I go to uni, so nothing is really going to affect them financially. I guess it could be a worry that I don't budget properly, but this could be a problem wherever I go
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    (Original post by catwat99)
    I'm going to be completely responsible for my own money once I go to uni, so nothing is really going to affect them financially. I guess it could be a worry that I don't budget properly, but this could be a problem wherever I go
    seems like they're sticky but remember once you push them away and say you want to go where you want to go for your learning be sure you can fully support yourself
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    (Original post by catwat99)
    I'm in Year 12 and have started looking at my options in terms of University. I'm from the north and have been considering southern uni's (such as Bath, Surrey, etc), and I actually want to move far away, gain independence and live in a place that is completely new to me.
    Despite this being something I want, my parents keep pushing me to think about unis closer to home. I know they're doing it because they're scared of me being too far away, but I'm finding it a bit frustrating.
    Does anyone else have this problem? How do I convince them to let me make my own decisions???
    I would suggest going at it from the other direction: What do you want to do with the rest of your life (that you can earn a decent living at). Go talk to some ppl in that profession, and see what their future prospects and chances of advancement are. THEN, look about for a UNI to support a degree program in that area. The investment in time, expense, and work for a Uni degree are substantial. Many ppl never consider what they're going to do after graduation, until the day arrives. Similarly, for a job - these days, you may well consider employment in Europe, the US, or south/central America. After i graduated from my Uni in new england, i spend 3 years in the near east. I found it interesting, and a good money maker - i bought a house with the proceeds when i returned. The entire Uk is smaller than Nevada. I would never consider job searching in just one state - it would be too restrictive of my job prospects and potential salary. Best of luck to you... Cheers.
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    (Original post by EdwardBarfield9)
    I'm moving from the midlands to the south and my family, mother mainly, are worried about it.

    Just tell them what you posted here; "I actually want to move far away, gain independence and live in a place that is completely new to me". Then hand them each a snickers bar and refer to advert.
    How did you bring up the topic of moving far away, and getting them comfortable with the idea?? If I ever bring it up, all I'm told about are the negatives of living away
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    (Original post by chikane)
    Are you asian? Could be they don't want you to go far so they can keep an eye on you.
    I'm not, but I am the last child to be moving out - that's probably a reason for their worrying, being the baby of the family
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    (Original post by catwat99)
    I'm not, but I am the last child to be moving out - that's probably a reason for their worrying, being the baby of the family
    (Original post by catwat99)
    I'm in Year 12 and have started looking at my options in terms of University. I'm from the north and have been considering southern uni's (such as Bath, Surrey, etc), and I actually want to move far away, gain independence and live in a place that is completely new to me.

    Despite this being something I want, my parents keep pushing me to think about unis closer to home. I know they're doing it because they're scared of me being too far away, but I'm finding it a bit frustrating.

    Does anyone else have this problem? How do I convince them to let me make my own decisions???
    Do what 'you' want!

    This is a very important decision for you. It will influence your life for at least the next three years.

    Moving further away has multiple benefits.

    1) You are more likely to choose the right course that you want. If you are choosing a local university JUST because it is local, you are not considering the course you are taking as priority. This could mean you feel you want to drop out some way into the course as it is not right for you or maybe it does not lead you to the career you want. If you look everywhere, you can be sure to know the course is what YOU want. If it turns out this course is local, of course that is fine but only if the course you take is exactly right for you.


    2) You will learn to be an adult who can look after themselves but is also not afraid to make a new move. Imagine you got offered a perfect job further away from home. If you had stayed local this would seem like a huge step but if you had already made a big move before it would be less scary. You could feel more confident that you could do it and look after youorself. You don't want to be scared of moving. It is a different matter of not wanting to move for other reasons but it shouldn't be scary.


    I hope this helps.

    Overall, it is up to YOU what you do in your life. It is not up to your parents. They are not living your life for you. It sounds like you want to be able to move further away, and you should consider this when you decide.

    It may help to talk to your parents on why they feel this way. Ask thier advice on the topic but do not be afraid to speak uo on what you feel is the best route so you can be happy.
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    (Original post by catwat99)
    I'm in Year 12 and have started looking at my options in terms of University. I'm from the north and have been considering southern uni's (such as Bath, Surrey, etc), and I actually want to move far away, gain independence and live in a place that is completely new to me.
    Despite this being something I want, my parents keep pushing me to think about unis closer to home. I know they're doing it because they're scared of me being too far away, but I'm finding it a bit frustrating.
    Does anyone else have this problem? How do I convince them to let me make my own decisions???
    My Mum was fixtated on a particular uni because of transport links and like you not wanting me to go too far away and although I quite liked it there were others that I liked more. Two things helped win her over:
    1) Taking her to visit the other universities I'd chosen- she soon realised why I'd liked them and was impressed with what they offered too. Most people take a parent to the open days so I didn't stick out.
    2) Pointing out transport links- she realised the uni I did eventually go to was still relatively easy for me to get to. Often train journeys from north to south aren't as long as you might think.
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    (Original post by Charlotte.13)
    Do what 'you' want!

    This is a very important decision for you. It will influence your life for at least the next three years.

    Moving further away has multiple benefits.

    1) You are more likely to choose the right course that you want. If you are choosing a local university JUST because it is local, you are not considering the course you are taking as priority. This could mean you feel you want to drop out some way into the course as it is not right for you or maybe it does not lead you to the career you want. If you look everywhere, you can be sure to know the course is what YOU want. If it turns out this course is local, of course that is fine but only if the course you take is exactly right for you.


    2) You will learn to be an adult who can look after themselves but is also not afraid to make a new move. Imagine you got offered a perfect job further away from home. If you had stayed local this would seem like a huge step but if you had already made a big move before it would be less scary. You could feel more confident that you could do it and look after youorself. You don't want to be scared of moving. It is a different matter of not wanting to move for other reasons but it shouldn't be scary.


    I hope this helps.

    Overall, it is up to YOU what you do in your life. It is not up to your parents. They are not living your life for you. It sounds like you want to be able to move further away, and you should consider this when you decide.

    It may help to talk to your parents on why they feel this way. Ask thier advice on the topic but do not be afraid to speak uo on what you feel is the best route so you can be happy.
    To be fair, there are good unis nearby, but I feel I'd just get bored of living somewhere I've visited so often already. I'm not scared at all to move, if anything I'm excited at the prospect of having a fresh start somewhere new. Once it gets closer to the time of applying for uni, I'll discuss it a bit further with them. Thank you
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    (Original post by catwat99)
    To be fair, there are good unis nearby, but I feel I'd just get bored of living somewhere I've visited so often already. I'm not scared at all to move, if anything I'm excited at the prospect of having a fresh start somewhere new. Once it gets closer to the time of applying for uni, I'll discuss it a bit further with them. Thank you
    No problem!

    PS: Just because they are good doesnt mean they are perfect for what you want. I understand exactly what you mean about being excited for something new.

    Good luck and I hope you get to go somewhere you love!
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    (Original post by jelly1000)
    My Mum was fixtated on a particular uni because of transport links and like you not wanting me to go too far away and although I quite liked it there were others that I liked more. Two things helped win her over:
    1) Taking her to visit the other universities I'd chosen- she soon realised why I'd liked them and was impressed with what they offered too. Most people take a parent to the open days so I didn't stick out.
    2) Pointing out transport links- she realised the uni I did eventually go to was still relatively easy for me to get to. Often train journeys from north to south aren't as long as you might think.
    A train goes directly from my hometown to London, and from there it'd be easy. This is something I'll try to point out, hopefully it'll sway them

    What's the distance between your hometown and uni? I'd defo consider taking my parents to open days, the only problem is finding the time to do it, as we probably couldn't visit the uni's I've been looking at in a one day trip.
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    (Original post by catwat99)
    A train goes directly from my hometown to London, and from there it'd be easy. This is something I'll try to point out, hopefully it'll sway them

    What's the distance between your hometown and uni? I'd defo consider taking my parents to open days, the only problem is finding the time to do it, as we probably couldn't visit the uni's I've been looking at in a one day trip.
    Thats something then. And I didn't actually move that far in the end, just over 100 miles, so nowhere near as far as your considering, but I had to go to a station further away than if I'd gone to the uni my Mum wanted me to to get the train there. The uni I liked the most (sadly didnt get into) was a lot further but after visiting my Mum was happy for me to go there.
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    (Original post by catwat99)
    How did you bring up the topic of moving far away, and getting them comfortable with the idea?? If I ever bring it up, all I'm told about are the negatives of living away
    I just told them where I wanted to go and why I want to. I said that if I was going to uni I would be moving out to get the full experience so what does the distance matter
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    (Original post by catwat99)
    I'm in Year 12 and have started looking at my options in terms of University. I'm from the north and have been considering southern uni's (such as Bath, Surrey, etc), and I actually want to move far away, gain independence and live in a place that is completely new to me.
    Despite this being something I want, my parents keep pushing me to think about unis closer to home. I know they're doing it because they're scared of me being too far away, but I'm finding it a bit frustrating.
    Does anyone else have this problem? How do I convince them to let me make my own decisions???
    If you are going to get a reasonable maintenance loan so that you could be financially independent, then you can effectively flip them off and go wherever you want. I, however, don't have such a privilege since my maintenance loan is minimal, so I have to be extremely nice to them lol.
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    (Original post by catwat99)
    I'm in Year 12 and have started looking at my options in terms of University. I'm from the north and have been considering southern uni's (such as Bath, Surrey, etc), and I actually want to move far away, gain independence and live in a place that is completely new to me.
    Despite this being something I want, my parents keep pushing me to think about unis closer to home. I know they're doing it because they're scared of me being too far away, but I'm finding it a bit frustrating.
    Does anyone else have this problem? How do I convince them to let me make my own decisions???
    Wow. Our situations are literally the same lol.

    Yeah my parents are the same, but my dad more than my mum. They're doing it cos they love you and want to be close to you, which is understandable, and they also want you to save as much money as possible by staying with them.

    But at the end of the day, life experience such as living independently has no value. You'll never learn skills like time management, doing your laundry, cooking your own food etc. unless you have to do it by yourself on a daily basis.

    I'm under the same pressure, and my advice is just to explain to them that life experience is more important than money to you. Besides, you've only got to pay 9% of it back once your salary goes over 25,000 and it's written off after 30 years.

    Best of luck!
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    (Original post by nightwing51214)
    Wow. Our situations are literally the same lol.

    Yeah my parents are the same, but my dad more than my mum. They're doing it cos they love you and want to be close to you, which is understandable, and they also want you to save as much money as possible by staying with them.

    But at the end of the day, life experience such as living independently has no value. You'll never learn skills like time management, doing your laundry, cooking your own food etc. unless you have to do it by yourself on a daily basis.

    I'm under the same pressure, and my advice is just to explain to them that life experience is more important than money to you. Besides, you've only got to pay 9% of it back once your salary goes over 25,000 and it's written off after 30 years.

    Best of luck!
    It is actually £21,000 not £25,000.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    It is actually £21,000 not £25,000.
    Oops lol. My bad
 
 
 
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