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    I'm sorry if this post, will offend anyone. it will not be done intentionally.

    I've been dating my girlfriend for 4 months now, and we're both in Senior school. for the past, 2 weeks, she has been acting strangely around me and others. And today, she told me that she is considering becoming transgender.

    From what I've figured she has to go through 2 years of counselling, before she makes up a firm decision? but if she knew she was, why does she need counselling?

    I'm very accepting, of the LGBT community, I've multiple friends who are lesbian or gay. But this has come as a bit of a shock. Now I've the problem, I am willing to support her through this, if she still wants me too.
    But I think I should end it. I see her as a female for one. and at senior school age, even though I love her, I don't feel comfortable, changing my sexuality for this one person. it's not as if we're going to spend our lives together is it?

    Any advice or help you can give?
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    I think it would be very selfish of her to expect you to stand by her.
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    Ending is probably the best thing you can do, for yourself and by her. Stand by her as a friend but as she transitions, if she chooses, your feeling May and will probably become confused. It'd be very selfish, as whorace said for her to expect you to stay in a relationship with her.

    It's great you're accepting of her, and that you're willing to accept that not all school relationships are going to last.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm sorry if this post, will offend anyone. it will not be done intentionally.

    I've been dating my girlfriend for 4 months now, and we're both in Senior school. for the past, 2 weeks, she has been acting strangely around me and others. And today, she told me that she is considering becoming transgender.

    From what I've figured she has to go through 2 years of counselling, before she makes up a firm decision? but if she knew she was, why does she need counselling?

    I'm very accepting, of the LGBT community, I've multiple friends who are lesbian or gay. But this has come as a bit of a shock. Now I've the problem, I am willing to support her through this, if she still wants me too.
    But I think I should end it. I see her as a female for one. and at senior school age, even though I love her, I don't feel comfortable, changing my sexuality for this one person. it's not as if we're going to spend our lives together is it?

    Any advice or help you can give?
    Lol I don't think you can change your sexuality just like that anyways. I think this is a conversation your better of having with her...(him?). Just be honest to her and yourself.
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    if you are not sexually attracted to men then how could she expect you to stay with her. people who come out as trans after years of marriage rarely seem to stay with their partners let alone high school romances!
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    If it's not your thing, it's not your thing. You can't just change your sexuality. You either like it or you don't.

    You really need to learn how to use commas properly. Reading your post was almost distressing
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    Thank you guys. I agree that it's most likely selfish of her, but I don't want to end it until she is sure I guess. but still keep the advice coming!
    I feel that she feels pained by talking to me about this situation because of how it will affect us.

    And if you think my punctuation was bad. God help my English teacher ha ha
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    I myself am a transgender guy, meaning I was born female, so I hope I can help you a bit with this.
    Before I start I'd just like to say that I'll be using gender-neutral pronouns in reference to your partner (they/them/theirs). I also would like to say that your reaction is good that you're looking for information and help.
    First you need to ask them if there is anything you can do to help, and if you can't do those things, talk to them and explain your stance. If you can no longer be in a romantic or sexual relationship with them, discuss that too. Also know that the fact that they have told you says that they trust you and care for your help and support.
    Secondly, while you are correct about needing some form of "counselling", this is purely for medical treatments. I have been living socially as male for almost a year now, but only started hormone treatments a week ago. It takes a few appointments with 2 different psychiatrists to start any form of medical treatment, but because of the limited services available, it take about a year for this process to be completed.
    In terms of supporting them as a friend, it may be good to look up more about what its like to be transgender (I can link you some YouTube videos if you want) so that they feel like they can have open conversations about it.
    Two things that are probably the most important: mental health and violence. While I myself haven't experienced any physical violence based on the fact that I am trans, most trans people will experience a very negative attitude towards them. This can be physical or verbal in nature, and can also end in murder. Mental health is a huge factor. If your partner has/had any mental health problem (depression in particular) then I suggest looking up ways to help them with their mental illness. I'm going to give you a statistic that may be scary, but it will put things in to perspective: 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide in their lives. Make sure that your partner has someone that cares for them, and reach out if you believe they are in danger.

    If you need any more advice or information, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me. (I am more active on twitter too: @bobertie10). I hope that everything goes well and that you both find the peace you deserve.
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    (Original post by Bobertie)
    I myself am a transgender guy, meaning I was born female, so I hope I can help you a bit with this.
    Before I start I'd just like to say that I'll be using gender-neutral pronouns in reference to your partner (they/them/theirs). I also would like to say that your reaction is good that you're looking for information and help.
    First you need to ask them if there is anything you can do to help, and if you can't do those things, talk to them and explain your stance. If you can no longer be in a romantic or sexual relationship with them, discuss that too. Also know that the fact that they have told you says that they trust you and care for your help and support.
    Secondly, while you are correct about needing some form of "counselling", this is purely for medical treatments. I have been living socially as male for almost a year now, but only started hormone treatments a week ago. It takes a few appointments with 2 different psychiatrists to start any form of medical treatment, but because of the limited services available, it take about a year for this process to be completed.
    In terms of supporting them as a friend, it may be good to look up more about what its like to be transgender (I can link you some YouTube videos if you want) so that they feel like they can have open conversations about it.
    Two things that are probably the most important: mental health and violence. While I myself haven't experienced any physical violence based on the fact that I am trans, most trans people will experience a very negative attitude towards them. This can be physical or verbal in nature, and can also end in murder. Mental health is a huge factor. If your partner has/had any mental health problem (depression in particular) then I suggest looking up ways to help them with their mental illness. I'm going to give you a statistic that may be scary, but it will put things in to perspective: 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide in their lives. Make sure that your partner has someone that cares for them, and reach out if you believe they are in danger.

    If you need any more advice or information, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me. (I am more active on twitter too: @bobertie10). I hope that everything goes well and that you both find the peace you deserve.
    I hope you seriously realise how much this has helped! I had the talk with 'her' and she says that she wants us to go on... and so do I. so she says that until counselling starts, she wants me to see her as a girl until she makes up a firm decision (boy am I happy about it). can we talk more? Facebook would be easier then twitter for me.
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    It is entirely up to you and while you should support her and be there for her during this time, she shouldn't necessarily expect you to continue the relationship if you don't feel comfortable. I'd suggest speaking to her about it and letting her know that it might/would be best for you to end your relationship but continue to be her friend
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    You can't decide to be transgender. You either are or you're not, just like you can't decide to be heterosexual.
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    So much mispronouning is happening here! Please respect people's pronouns ('he, she' etc). It is extremely disrespectful to call a trans man 'she'.
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    (Original post by MLPforever)
    You can't decide to be transgender. You either are or you're not, just like you can't decide to be heterosexual.
    Exactly what I was about to say

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by MLPforever)
    You can't decide to be transgender. You either are or you're not, just like you can't decide to be heterosexual.
    I think op just meant she was thinking of transitioning/reconsidering her gender
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    I think op just meant she was thinking of transitioning/reconsidering her gender
    correct
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hope you seriously realise how much this has helped! I had the talk with 'her' and she says that she wants us to go on... and so do I. so she says that until counselling starts, she wants me to see her as a girl until she makes up a firm decision (boy am I happy about it). can we talk more? Facebook would be easier then twitter for me.
    Message me on here and I'll send you my facebook: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/priv...ewpm&u=1760705
 
 
 
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