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Blocked, upset and embarassed even though he has done me a favour Watch

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    Im sorry if this is long.

    I have had an awful habit of sleeping with a guy for the past 2 years (kind of). I haven't actually seen in him in about 6 months but have stayed in contact over texting. I do remember really liking him at the start and feeling a bit upset that he wasn't after anything serious but still kept in contact stupidly and would meet up still.He talks to me with such disrespect and arrogance but I don't stop him so im no better for it. I am just a FB to him minus the Buddy.

    I think when im feeling my most insecure, I'll go to him for attention but knowing he will talk to me like crap and just after one thing. I hate myself for doing it and it can make me feel worthless but a part of me thinks I'm in control of the situation and that I'm using him just as much he is me. It sounds ridiculous because it is.

    Anyway I am moving away, too far to ever see him again and he said about meeting up before I left..it hasnt happened. A couple weeks later I saw he has blocked me from whatsap. It's made me feel embarrassed,not because i am harassing him or being super clingy (I seldom would make contact first) but because it's made me see how pathetic and disposable I have made myself. And because ill always know ive never had the strength to do that myself.

    I have lowered myself to nothing to keep a guys attention and i hate it. But worse, when I saw he had blocked me i felt a wave of sadness at losing him. What does that make me if I am missing someone who treats me as an object?

    I know this cut is a good thing even though it may have been more empowering if i had been the one to cut ties and block him, but I'm scared of what this kind of thing says about me. And who I am as a person, to not be strong enough or smart enough to realise this should have ended far sooner.

    I feel humiliated in myself and ashamed of the feeling I'll miss him. It's not really a question but I thought it would help me write it down and see how others view it. I feel i have let myself down hugely.
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    (Original post by Birkens)
    Im sorry if this is long.

    I have had an awful habit of sleeping with a guy for the past 2 years (kind of). I haven't actually seen in him in about 6 months but have stayed in contact over texting. I do remember really liking him at the start and feeling a bit upset that he wasn't after anything serious but still kept in contact stupidly and would meet up still.He talks to me with such disrespect and arrogance but I don't stop him so im no better for it. I am just a FB to him minus the Buddy.

    I think when im feeling my most insecure, I'll go to him for attention but knowing he will talk to me like crap and just after one thing. I hate myself for doing it and it can make me feel worthless but a part of me thinks I'm in control of the situation and that I'm using him just as much he is me. It sounds ridiculous because it is.

    Anyway I am moving away, too far to ever see him again and he said about meeting up before I left..it hasnt happened. A couple weeks later I saw he has blocked me from whatsap. It's made me feel embarrassed,not because i am harassing him or being super clingy (I seldom would make contact first) but because it's made me see how pathetic and disposable I have made myself. And because ill always know ive never had the strength to do that myself.

    I have lowered myself to nothing to keep a guys attention and i hate it. But worse, when I saw he had blocked me i felt a wave of sadness at losing him. What does that make me if I am missing someone who treats me as an object?

    I know this cut is a good thing even though it may have been more empowering if i had been the one to cut ties and block him, but I'm scared of what this kind of thing says about me. And who I am as a person, to not be strong enough or smart enough to realise this should have ended far sooner.

    I feel humiliated in myself and ashamed of the feeling I'll miss him. It's not really a question but I thought it would help me write it down and see how others view it. I feel i have let myself down hugely.


    Plenty of warning signs tbh.

    You don't seem to particularly enjoy casual sex but are desperate for attention.

    'Daddy issues'? Loneliness?

    You clearly have quite low self-esteem if you 'miss' a guy who treats you like this.

    • #1
    #1

    i can understand you,
    theres this guy and we started talking, it started off all sweet and couply but since i confessed that i do like him, he acts arrogant and treats me like dirt sometimes, he doesnt care if he says something that will hurt me
    but then again there are times where he seems like my only support and he does try to look out for me, but maybe thats just how he is?

    anyway, i felt like im worth more than that and i tried telling my self that i can do better without him
    but every time i thought of that the fear of losing him hitt me like a train
    when things got worse i got enough courage to say i didnt want us to carry on like this
    and i hoped inside he would not care and block me so i was reasured i did the right thing and move on
    but then he becomes soft again and i just fall for him again
    but then he goes back to being a crazy man and in our last meeting i told him that's it

    now i realise though that we just need to learn to let go of things that hurt us
    and look out for ourselves before others that dont even care about you
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    You're a mess. Have some self respect and count this one as a victory 'thank God that knob is finally out of my life'. Stop putting yourself down and take responsibility.
 
 
 
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