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Girl isn't on birth control wants sex with me, she's a virgin. It's turning me off. Watch

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    I'm feeling pretty disgusted at the thought of sex with just a condom tbh. I don't really see it being particularly fantastic (although I appreciate that a lot of the bro-comments on the internet about condom sex are exaggerated, but my I find it really hard to orgasm as it is; if I wear any lube I can no longer orgasm, and if I don't lube it can take an hour of intense masturbation to make me *** [which makes my penis go browny/red and the skin on it to thicken like it is bruised and it goes sore...]),

    Yet also too risky because a pregnancy would be hell and well, I've never had sex before so no doubt my risk of ****ing up when using a condom is a little higher than normal.

    Thing is, we're both virgins so STDs aren't a worry and we're not just having casual sex - we've been dating for about 3months now.

    So, just contemplating all of this. Combined with the fact that males only really have condoms as a form of contraception they can use (which is really damn sexist)... It just turns me off sex entirely.

    Am I being ridiculous?

    I'm 20. Obviously I want sex. But I'm also 20 and a virgin, obviously I can wait a bit longer. Perhaps until I can find someone who is on birth control. I spoke to her about this today and really all she said was she's never been on the pill, but she's aware of how it works etc, but when I said Id appreciate it if she were to try it out before we had sex (trying to put it politely because it ain't happening otherwise, at least that's how I feel right now) she just said she's not sure if she'll take a pill or not, or any other form of contraception.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    I find it really hard to orgasm as it is; if I wear any lube I can no longer orgasm, and if I don't lube it can take an hour of intense masturbation to make me *** [which makes my penis go browny/red and the skin on it to thicken like it is bruised and it goes sore...]),
    Seems like that's your problem.

    Stop the death-grip masturbation. In fact, quit masturbation altogether for a while and see if you still have problems.

    I also used to struggle to nut when using a condom.
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    (Original post by dairychocolate)
    Seems like that's your problem.

    Stop the death-grip masturbation. In fact, quit masturbation altogether for a while and see if you still have problems.

    I also used to struggle to nut when using a condom.
    Well. Actually. It goes deeper than that. I have not being able to masturbate successfully with my hand for ageeeeeeees. It takes an hour and hurts because I was forcing myself to ejaculate because I am inexperienced and didn't want to seem too eager when round at her house the other night... (normally I use other methods to make myself ***) Besides she's wanting to have sex pretty ****ing soon - she keeps pointing out how all of her flatmates will be away this weekend, over and over and last time I slept at hers she tried giving me a handjob but in the politest way possible I told her not to bother as it was never going to happen and she'd just disappoint herself... To be able to *** at a normal time again? I think that would take months of not fapping. And ****. Months of not fapping would be really hard for me too.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Well. Actually. It goes deeper than that. I have not being able to masturbate successfully with my hand for ageeeeeeees. It takes an hour and hurts because I was forcing myself to ejaculate because I am inexperienced and didn't want to seem too eager when round at her house the other night... (normally I use other methods to make myself ***) Besides she's wanting to have sex pretty ****ing soon - she keeps pointing out how all of her flatmates will be away this weekend, over and over and last time I slept at hers she tried giving me a handjob but in the politest way possible I told her not to bother as it was never going to happen and she'd just disappoint herself... To be able to *** at a normal time again? I think that would take months of not fapping. And ****. Months of not fapping would be really hard for me too.
    I don't get what you're saying.

    Masturbation hurts?
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    (Original post by dairychocolate)
    I don't get what you're saying.

    Masturbation hurts?
    Masturbation with my hand takes me very long to finish. Never under 30mins of continuous effort WITH visual stimulation if I use my hand. If I use lube I simply cannot finish because I lose sensitivity. If lube makes me unable to ejaculate, I have a feeling a condom might too :L

    Given the anxiety of first time sex even if I am confident I highly doubt I'm going to be able to finish with a condom too and this ignores the whole prospect of condoms being too big, too small, which in turn makes me even more anxious...

    But she's wanting sex fairly soon. She's really up for it. The whole ordeal of it is just turning me really off. Really. Off.

    I wish I could just take a pill or have something shoved up my ass to stop me from producing semen, but no. Males don't get that option so I don't know what to do tbh. I' just not sure if going ahead and having sex with her with a condom is going to be worth it or not. That's the whole point of my thread. And I don't know how long she'll stick around if I don't have sex with her either, it will take me months to recover my penile sensitivity, it has been a thing with me for years and that assumes I can stop fapping but I'm insanely horny and get erections at everything and nothing so I doubt I'd last more than 5days.
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    Pretty sure STDs are still a problem......who knows, maybe she's been sharing needles.

    I would say don't shag without a condom but then I would be contradicting myself.

    You need to decide if you are willing to take the risk of messing the next 18 years of your life up.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Masturbation with my hand takes me very long to finish. Never under 30mins of continuous effort WITH visual stimulation if I use my hand. If I use lube I simply cannot finish because I lose sensitivity. If lube makes me unable to ejaculate, I have a feeling a condom might too :L

    Given the anxiety of first time sex even if I am confident I highly doubt I'm going to be able to finish with a condom too and this ignores the whole prospect of condoms being too big, too small, which in turn makes me even more anxious...

    But she's wanting sex fairly soon. She's really up for it. The whole ordeal of it is just turning me really off. Really. Off.

    I wish I could just take a pill or have something shoved up my ass to stop me from producing semen, but no. Males don't get that option so I don't know what to do tbh.
    You need to see a doctor if you are finding it hard to ***. Could be cancer.
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    (Original post by ABsoluteX)
    You need to see a doctor if you are finding it hard to ***. Could be cancer.
    No, it's just a lack of penile sensitivity because I'm a kinky freak who does all sorts of **** to his penis. That's not the point of the thread and that can't be solved in time to resolve the issues of the thread so please can y'all stop mentioning that

    (Original post by ABsoluteX)
    Pretty sure STDs are still a problem......who knows, maybe she's been sharing needles.I would say don't shag without a condom but then I would be contradicting myself.You need to decide if you are willing to take the risk of messing the next 18 years of your life up.
    Not really... She's not that sort. I'm not going to sleep with some totally random person. The risk of her having an STD is minuscule and I'm not that paranoid. However a 2% failure rate under perfect use conditions if someone has sex 120 times in a year (which seemed high to me, who are they surveying, sex every 3days???). Jeez, it's low I know, but it's still too ****ing high, especially since, being a virgin, I probably won't be using condoms in perfect use conditions...
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    I'm feeling pretty disgusted at the thought of sex with just a condom tbh. I don't really see it being particularly fantastic (although I appreciate that a lot of the bro-comments on the internet about condom sex are exaggerated, but my I find it really hard to orgasm as it is; if I wear any lube I can no longer orgasm, and if I don't lube it can take an hour of intense masturbation to make me *** [which makes my penis go browny/red and the skin on it to thicken like it is bruised and it goes sore...]),

    Yet also too risky because a pregnancy would be hell and well, I've never had sex before so no doubt my risk of ****ing up when using a condom is a little higher than normal.

    Thing is, we're both virgins so STDs aren't a worry and we're not just having casual sex - we've been dating for about 3months now.

    So, just contemplating all of this. Combined with the fact that males only really have condoms as a form of contraception they can use (which is really damn sexist)... It just turns me off sex entirely.

    Am I being ridiculous?

    I'm 20. Obviously I want sex. But I'm also 20 and a virgin, obviously I can wait a bit longer. Perhaps until I can find someone who is on birth control. I spoke to her about this today and really all she said was she's never been on the pill, but she's aware of how it works etc, but when I said Id appreciate it if she were to try it out before we had sex (trying to put it politely because it ain't happening otherwise, at least that's how I feel right now) she just said she's not sure if she'll take a pill or not, or any other form of contraception.
    Sex is an extremely important part of relationship but it looks like you're mostly in it for sex, which is just sad. Don't get why she's not interested in other forms of contraception, though, even if she's worried about health effects associated with the pill.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    No, it's just a lack of penile sensitivity because I'm a kinky freak who does all sorts of **** to his penis. That's not the point of the thread and that can't be solved in time to resolve the issues of the thread so please can y'all stop mentioning that
    Or cancer. Am i scaring you yet haha

    Pretty sure that's some irreversible damage. Would not advice sanding your **** or whatever it is you like doing.
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    Sounds like there's something wrong with your ****. If you can't get it off with your hand what makes you think awkward virgin sex with a condom is going to do it for you? You should have let her try give you a steamy blowjob.
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    (Original post by Ciel.)
    Sex is an extremely important part of relationship but it looks like you're mostly in it for sex, which is just sad. Don't get why she's not interested in other forms of contraception, though, even if she's worried about health effects associated with the pill.
    I'm not going to be dating someone exclusively if I'm not getting sex out of it when I know fine well I could be dating other people and getting on with them really well romantically and platonically but also getting sex. I'm not desperate ser.

    She make the advances on me sexually so far. she's the one who keeps saying she's going to be alone and hinting at wanting sex. If I just wanted sex I would have had it a long ass time ago, it's took me ages though to even get into a relationship because I wanted to do it with someone I actually like on something more than a superficial level.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)

    Not really... She's not that sort. I'm not going to sleep with some totally random person. The risk of her having an STD is minuscule and I'm not that paranoid. However a 2% failure rate under perfect use conditions if someone has sex 120 times in a year (which seemed high to me, who are they surveying, sex every 3days???). Jeez, it's low I know, but it's still too ****ing high, especially since, being a virgin, I probably won't be using condoms in perfect use conditions...
    Doubt she's a virgin either. Especially if she's moderately good looking.

    I think the 2% refers to retards who don't know how to store and use condoms properly. If there ain't no sperm reaching her eggs then she's not getting pregnant, simple as.
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    (Original post by ABsoluteX)
    Doubt she's a virgin either. Especially if she's moderately good looking.

    I think the 2% refers to retards who don't know how to store and use condoms properly. If there ain't no sperm reaching her eggs then she's not getting pregnant, simple as.
    Hmm. Yeah. That's true really. Ok. I think I'm convinced I am being paranoid about the pregnancy thing actually. Lots of people do manage with just condoms and don't get pregnant...
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    Why not just try it...if it doesn't happen, so what, frustrating I guess but you can just stop. If it does, then you know there's no issue. I think people exaggerate how much of a numbing effect it has.
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    Just bum her or pull out and *** on her face. This is how most of my sex goes. If she gets pregnant that's her problem.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Sounds like there's something wrong with your ****. If you can't get it off with your hand what makes you think awkward virgin sex with a condom is going to do it for you? You should have let her try give you a steamy blowjob.
    Because wet pussy feels a lot better than a hand?????

    I know I can really turn her on so the typical woes of first time sex shouldn't be too pronounced.
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    I think you're just a bit scared to be honest, you've been thinking about this for a while and you're putting it off again. Honestly why not have her give you a bj first? Even if you don't climax it feels way better than a handjob.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Because wet pussy feels a lot better than a hand?????

    I know I can really turn her on so the typical woes of first time sex shouldn't be too pronounced.
    Does it? By your own admission you haven't had sex. It does feel better but you're exaggerating if you expect it to suddenly cure your hour ******* problems, especially with a condom
 
 
 
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