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Girl isn't on birth control wants sex with me, she's a virgin. It's turning me off. Watch

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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Hmm. Yeah. That's true really. Ok. I think I'm convinced I am being paranoid about the pregnancy thing actually. Lots of people do manage with just condoms and don't get pregnant...
    You think you're paranoid now.... just wait till you've actually done the deed. Next few weeks after that will be hell, waiting to see she misses her period.
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    (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
    Why not just try it...if it doesn't happen, so what, frustrating I guess but you can just stop. If it does, then you know there's no issue. I think people exaggerate how much of a numbing effect it has.
    You're right. There's not really any harm done if I can't orgasm except a little sexual frustration haha. I should just give it a go I guess... I'm really prone to over-thinking everything pessimistically. Thank you.
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    You don't need to climax to please her anyway and it could work in your favour, it's possible to get someone off with just fingers or tongue but obviously the pleasure is more hers than it is yours.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Does it? By your own admission you haven't had sex. It does feel better but you're exaggerating if you expect it to suddenly cure your hour ******* problems, especially with a condom
    Don't tell me that >_<Just let me live in a fantasy world so I can just DO IT rather than pessimistically worrying about nothing :PHmm, I do appreciate your honesty though.
    (Original post by whorace)
    You don't need to climax to please her anyway and it could work in your favour, it's possible to get someone off with just fingers or tongue but obviously the pleasure is more hers than it is yours.
    Yeah but it's gonna frustrate a girl when you're there pleasing her with a raging boner (and a big one at that) for 30mins, then you get into bed and cuddle with her, still erect lmao. Not to mention sexually frustrating for me... But yeah I guess that's when the bj can come in. (takes the condom off again)

    (Original post by whorace)
    I think you're just a bit scared to be honest, you've been thinking about this for a while and you're putting it off again. Honestly why not have her give you a bj first? Even if you don't climax it feels way better than a handjob.
    Yeah. Probably. Like I said in another pot you've seen how first hand how I over-think things really pessimistically (read - note realistically). Well I've decided I'll just give it a go anyway. A little sexual frustration is the worst outcome.

    I suppose that's better than nagging her constantly to go on birth control... At least in the short term anyway. I mean, I ought to try condom sex anyway just for the experience of it and I've established the risk of pregnancy, really, is minimal.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    I'm feeling pretty disgusted at the thought of sex with just a condom tbh. I don't really see it being particularly fantastic (although I appreciate that a lot of the bro-comments on the internet about condom sex are exaggerated, but my I find it really hard to orgasm as it is; if I wear any lube I can no longer orgasm, and if I don't lube it can take an hour of intense masturbation to make me *** [which makes my penis go browny/red and the skin on it to thicken like it is bruised and it goes sore...]),

    Yet also too risky because a pregnancy would be hell and well, I've never had sex before so no doubt my risk of ****ing up when using a condom is a little higher than normal.

    Thing is, we're both virgins so STDs aren't a worry and we're not just having casual sex - we've been dating for about 3months now.

    So, just contemplating all of this. Combined with the fact that males only really have condoms as a form of contraception they can use (which is really damn sexist)... It just turns me off sex entirely.

    Am I being ridiculous?

    I'm 20. Obviously I want sex. But I'm also 20 and a virgin, obviously I can wait a bit longer. Perhaps until I can find someone who is on birth control. I spoke to her about this today and really all she said was she's never been on the pill, but she's aware of how it works etc, but when I said Id appreciate it if she were to try it out before we had sex (trying to put it politely because it ain't happening otherwise, at least that's how I feel right now) she just said she's not sure if she'll take a pill or not, or any other form of contraception.
    I don't think a lot of men quite understand how damaging hormonal contraception is to the body of the woman using it, not to mention the environment after she excretes in her urine. Yes, I think you are being selfish, extremely so.
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    I don't think a lot of men quite understand how damaging hormonal contraception is to the body of the woman using it, not to mention the environment after she excretes in her urine. Yes, I think you are being selfish, extremely so.
    Yet I can't be that selfish because I would attempt the same were I able to. But because society is sexist and tihkns men are selfish, males don't get contraceptive options of their own outside of condoms and vasectomy...

    She hasn't even tried any contraceptive method before... So it's not like she even tried one and had a bad experience and it put her off.

    If one method is troublesome, she can try another. I concede that it is a bother to have to go through such a process and potentially harm yourself in doing so but the harm is only short term and not extreme. Because of the way society is I have no power at all to share that burden otherwise I would. It annoys me. To point the finger at me and call me selfish for that reason though... Seems very unfair. Is it not selfish that she demands I use a condom, thereby putting all the contraceptive disadvantages on me rather than her? this is the problem of there not being equal distribution of contraception options between the genders. It hurts us both.

    But what is the alternative? Less enjoyable sex for both of us? I feel like if we are going to be having regular sex we may as well do it optimally. Anyway, I'm gonna try the condom the first few times (or just once if I really can't deal with it - although I will try a variety of different condoms anyway as I realise certain condoms may be less or more stimulating for my penis type) and see how it goes from there.
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    (Original post by ABsoluteX)
    Doubt she's a virgin either. Especially if she's moderately good looking.

    I think the 2% refers to retards who don't know how to store and use condoms properly. If there ain't no sperm reaching her eggs then she's not getting pregnant, simple as.
    That's a 2% failure rate under perfect use conditions. That means that it was stored and used correctly and still failed.

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    How is it sexist btw?
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    You over think way too much. You're a virgin how do you know wearing a condom won't be satisfying to you just chill you're like a stress ball you should be excited. Take it easy.
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    (Original post by lahorizon)
    How is it sexist btw?
    Why else has there not yet been a male contraception pill 50 years after the female one cam into fruition other than sexist undertones about the relevance of it based on the notion that people have that if it existed it would not be used because males are irresponsible, selfish and promiscuous and thus would not take caring about the prospect of a potential pregnancy into their own hands?

    I appreciate that stopping the production of sperm constantly is harder than stopping one egg from being released every month, but nonetheless, it's been 50 years and nobody talks about male contraception nor do they seem to care.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Because wet pussy feels a lot better than a hand?????
    wrong
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    OP, in the last 2 years, what's the longest amount of time you've been without masturbating?

    I have a strong suspicion that's the root of your problems.
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    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    OP, in the last 2 years, what's the longest amount of time you've been without masturbating?

    I have a strong suspicion that's the root of your problems.
    As far as I can recall no longer than a week. On a more regular basis I rarely go for longer than 3days without.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)

    Yet also too risky because a pregnancy would be hell and well, I've never had sex before so no doubt my risk of ****ing up when using a condom is a little higher than normal.

    So, just contemplating all of this. Combined with the fact that males only really have condoms as a form of contraception they can use (which is really damn sexist)... It just turns me off sex entirely.

    Am I being ridiculous?
    Yes. You are.
    If you can't put on a condom, but don't want a child, don't have sex.
    You can't make her go on birth control, only you can decide for yourself.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    As far as I can recall no longer than a week. On a more regular basis I rarely go for longer than 3days without.
    That's not going to be enough to clear out a lack of sensitivity that lasts an hour. Look up nofap, aim for a month. It'll be very, very tough, but that should do it. Don't be tempted to relapse early.
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    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    That's not going to be enough to clear out a lack of sensitivity that lasts an hour. Look up nofap, aim for a month. It'll be very, very tough, but that should do it. Don't be tempted to relapse early.
    Not going to happen man. It's way too long gone. I start getting erections after 3 days at ****ing anything and I can't focus on work at all. Too busy to have such a problem in my life right now. **** I'd rather just go no sex than start ****ing around dealing with that. Don't need sex, I pretty much do need to masturbate.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Not going to happen man. It's way too long gone. I start getting erections after 3 days at ****ing anything and I can't focus on work at all. Too busy to have such a problem in my life right now. **** I'd rather just go no sex than start ****ing around dealing with that. Don't need sex, I pretty much do need to masturbate.
    It gets easier around the 10 day mark.
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    I've never understood why any sexually active girl in the UK wouldn't get on some form of birth control. (Except in cases where they can't due to medical issues etc obviously.) We're so lucky to have it for free. Have you spoken to her about it? There are so many different options. If you're in a serious, trusting relationship and you have no worries of STIs condoms can be real romance killers.
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    (Original post by Precious Illusions)
    I've never understood why any sexually active girl in the UK wouldn't get on some form of birth control. (Except in cases where they can't due to medical issues etc obviously.) We're so lucky to have it for free. Have you spoken to her about it? There are so many different options. If you're in a serious, trusting relationship and you have no worries of STIs condoms can be real romance killers.
    Well she isn't sexually active. She's a virgin.

    We spoke about it a bit but she was very quick to change the conversation and very explicitly made sure to avoid saying she would attempt some form of birth control. tbh though most girls I've spoke to about this have taken the pill anyway often just for period relief or just to trial how it is so that if they want to use it later they know how it will affect them. She hasn't. Which is weird...

    I think I will go along with just using a condom for the first few times but unless it goes miraculously well which really I highly doubt it will, I'm not sure what will happen thereafter if she still refuses. One would think by then though that she may be willing to sacrifice a little bit for me

    You've seen the other responses on this thread though. I don't want to come across like a demanding, sex obsessed ****... Which is clearly how some girls view a guy wanting their girl to be on contraception...
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Well she isn't sexually active. She's a virgin.

    We spoke about it a bit but she was very quick to change the conversation and very explicitly made sure to avoid saying she would attempt some form of birth control.

    I think I will go along with just using a condom for the first few times but unless it goes miraculously well which really I highly doubt it will, I'm not sure what will happen thereafter if she still refuses. One would think by then though that she may be willing to sacrifice a little bit for me

    You've seen the other responses on this thread though. I don't want to come across like a demanding, sex obsessed ****... Which is clearly how some girls view a guy wanting their girl to be on contraception...
    Oh yeah I meant more...if you're thinking about being sexually active, then it's best to get on the pill etc. Months before I had sex for the first time I got on the pill, I wanted to be prepared and as protected as possible when it happened.

    I think, if you're both ready which you seem to be, do it with the condom. It won't be INCREDIBLE the first time but most of the fun is in getting to know each other's bodies. I don't think it's unreasonable to want your girlfriend to be on some form of birth control, it's just extra protection. I wouldn't push her, but I'd ask her to at least think about it. Anything could happen, you could come home drunk one night and completely forgot to put one on as you both get too caught up in the moment etc. (I know, not the classiest of situations but a possible one.) ultimately it's not you just being annoyed about having to wear a condom, it's the idea of what could happen if you don't.
 
 
 
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