Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Girl isn't on birth control wants sex with me, she's a virgin. It's turning me off. Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mahmoud X)
    You're getting far too wound up over the pregnancy thing, the 2% failure rate is calculated over a year, it's estimated that at the most, 2% of women only using condoms will get pregnant over the course of that year. It does not mean that every time you have sex, you have a 1 in 50 chance of being a father, so be a big boy and use them correctly.
    Yeah, I know, less than 0.02% chance of pregnancy per sex act. HOWEVER. That's with perfect use conditions and I've never had sex with a condom. What if we are changing positions, it slips slightly, pre-*** spills? What if it is too big and slips off? Too thin and it tears? Or what if its just a **** condom and it breaks for pretty much no reason because manufacturing fault (that's the 0.02% chance I guess and I suppose that doesn't really bother me).
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lustawny)
    I don't get it. What's so special about you, exactly?
    I'm not. I thought it was fairly commonplace when in a monogamous long term relationship for the male to use a condom and the female to use some form of birth control at the start. And also rather commonplace for the female to attempted some form of birth control at some point in her life even if she isn't sexually active just to see how it affects her if nothing else.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Yeah, I know, less than 0.02% chance of pregnancy per sex act. HOWEVER. That's with perfect use conditions and I've never had sex with a condom. What if we are changing positions, it slips slightly, pre-*** spills? What if it is too big and slips off? Too thin and it tears? Or what if its just a **** condom and it breaks for pretty much no reason because manufacturing fault.
    Then she can just get the morning after pill geez! You're working yourself up over nothing mate.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ciel.)
    Then she can just get the morning after pill geez! You're working yourself up over nothing mate.
    BUT WILL SHE THOUGH???

    She has never tried any birth control options and doesn't really seem very motivated to do so either...
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    BUT WILL SHE THOUGH???

    She has never tried any birth control options and doesn't really seem very motivated to do so either...
    You don't trust her at all then. Or are very paranoid. You sound like a 12 year old, no offence. Maybe you're not ready for sex, idk.
    • TSR Group Staff
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Group Staff
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    I'm feeling pretty disgusted at the thought of sex with just a condom tbh. I don't really see it being particularly fantastic (although I appreciate that a lot of the bro-comments on the internet about condom sex are exaggerated, but my I find it really hard to orgasm as it is; if I wear any lube I can no longer orgasm, and if I don't lube it can take an hour of intense masturbation to make me *** [which makes my penis go browny/red and the skin on it to thicken like it is bruised and it goes sore...]),

    Yet also too risky because a pregnancy would be hell and well, I've never had sex before so no doubt my risk of ****ing up when using a condom is a little higher than normal.

    Thing is, we're both virgins so STDs aren't a worry and we're not just having casual sex - we've been dating for about 3months now.

    So, just contemplating all of this. Combined with the fact that males only really have condoms as a form of contraception they can use (which is really damn sexist)... It just turns me off sex entirely.

    Am I being ridiculous?

    I'm 20. Obviously I want sex. But I'm also 20 and a virgin, obviously I can wait a bit longer. Perhaps until I can find someone who is on birth control. I spoke to her about this today and really all she said was she's never been on the pill, but she's aware of how it works etc, but when I said Id appreciate it if she were to try it out before we had sex (trying to put it politely because it ain't happening otherwise, at least that's how I feel right now) she just said she's not sure if she'll take a pill or not, or any other form of contraception.
    The pill seriously messes with the female system dude. It is a powerful hormone drug and is no good. If your gf chooses not to take it, you should really respect that. Try the condom man, you're making prejudgments on what it will be like.

    Just relax, be comfortable and wear a condom and you will be fine. Drugs should be avoided at all costs where possible.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Yeah, I know, less than 0.02% chance of pregnancy per sex act. HOWEVER. That's with perfect use conditions and I've never had sex with a condom. What if we are changing positions, it slips slightly, pre-*** spills? What if it is too big and slips off? Too thin and it tears? Or what if its just a **** condom and it breaks for pretty much no reason because manufacturing fault (that's the 0.02% chance I guess and I suppose that doesn't really bother me).
    The SAS use condoms for transporting water in the desert, stupid drunk people pull them over their heads and blow them up without them breaking and you're highly unlikely (almost impossible) to get a woman pregnant from pre-***.


    If you're worried, buy a pack and try them on for size, it's normal to be a little nervous, but Jesus Christ, it's not as if you're going to war.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ciel.)
    You don't trust her at all then. Or are very paranoid. You sound like a 12 year old, no offence. Maybe you're not ready for sex, idk.
    Well not really no. Why should I? I've only known her approximately 3months. I've known friends for years who would go and steal from me. I don't believe she wants a child, but I feel like she is quite complacent about the whole sex thing tbh and so I don't think I could really trust her to take the morning after pill.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Well not really no. Why should I? I've only known her approximately 3months. I've known friends for years who would go and steal from me. I don't believe she wants a child, but I feel like she is quite complacent about the whole sex thing tbh and so I don't think I could really trust her to take the morning after pill.
    If you don't trust or at least respect her enough to think the best of her, you probably shouldn't have sex with her.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Well not really no. Why should I? I've only known her approximately 3months. I've known friends for years who would go and steal from me. I don't believe she wants a child, but I feel like she is quite complacent about the whole sex thing tbh and so I don't think I could really trust her to take the morning after pill.
    Doesn't sound like a good relationship to me. What's the point of being with her then?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ciel.)
    Who knows, I don't have to deal with the contraception issue so I wouldn't know. You can always choose to join the dark side, too (homosexuality) lol Then you won't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant either.
    That kind of thinking gets you AIDS.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Abstract_Prism)
    That kind of thinking gets you AIDS.
    I didn't mean that you shouldn't use protection at all when it comes to gay sex. Of course you should if it's a one night stand. I was just talking about no need for contraception.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ciel.)
    Doesn't sound like a good relationship to me. What's the point of being with her then?
    It takes time to built up trust right? More than a few months. The dilemma is that she's the one pushing for sex. Not me. She's been a good friend so far, as have I and I feel like it is going well. I worry about how she'll respond though if I tell her I want to wait.

    However, I feel like that's my only option actually. Gonna send her a text explaining that. Clarify it in person at a later date.

    Not ready yet. I mean, one probably shouldn't be having sex if the thought of having sex is a turn-off. That's not going to be fun for anyone.

    If she can't accept that I'll move on. I'm sure someone will.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mahmoud X)
    If you don't trust or at least respect her enough to think the best of her, you probably shouldn't have sex with her.
    Exactly. So I'm not going to.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    It takes time to built up trust right? More than a few months. The dilemma is that she's the one pushing for sex. Not me. She's been a good friend so far, as have I and I feel like it is going well. I worry about how she'll respond though if I tell her I want to wait.

    However, I feel like that's my only option actually. Gonna send her a text explaining that. Clarify it in person at a later date.

    Not ready yet. I mean, one probably shouldn't be having sex if the thought of having sex is a turn-off. That's not going to be fun for anyone.

    If she can't accept that I'll move on. I'm sure someone will.
    Mystifying.


    Like calling off a business deal.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mahmoud X)
    Mystifying.


    Like calling off a business deal.
    It's not that deep. Really I'm just preparing my **** for her so that when we do get around to it it will not feel like typical virgin-virgin sex!
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    It takes time to built up trust right? More than a few months. The dilemma is that she's the one pushing for sex. Not me. She's been a good friend so far, as have I and I feel like it is going well. I worry about how she'll respond though if I tell her I want to wait.

    However, I feel like that's my only option actually. Gonna send her a text explaining that. Clarify it in person at a later date.

    Not ready yet. I mean, one probably shouldn't be having sex if the thought of having sex is a turn-off. That's not going to be fun for anyone.

    If she can't accept that I'll move on. I'm sure someone will.
    Noo don't say that over a text. Talk to her in person.
    Do you have any issues with social skills? Sorry If I'm getting the wrong impression here but you sound like someone with aspergers.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ciel.)
    Noo don't say that over a text. Talk to her in person.
    Do you have any issues with social skills? Sorry If I'm getting the wrong impression here but you sound like someone with aspergers.
    Actually, I'm the opposite. I have high emotional intelligence. Last time I spoke about it person though she basically ignored me and tried to change the conversation eventually leaving me with a "I might try a form of birth control... But I'm not sure...". This way she can't ignore it and has to at least acknowledge it.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Actually, I'm the opposite. I have high emotional intelligence. Last time I spoke about it person though she basically ignored me and tried to change the conversation eventually leaving me with a "I might try a form of birth control... But I'm not sure...". This way she can't ignore it and has to at least acknowledge it.
    Who says such a thing?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    . If a woman is not willing to attempt any form of birth control I highly doubt she'd care for female condoms tbh.
    She likely doesn't want to go on birth control because she's put off by the possible side effects of hormonal contraception and isn't comfortable with the idea of the copper coil. Obviously a femidom is non-hormonal/not as invasive as a coil so if that's the case she might be willing to try it.
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What's your favourite Christmas sweets?
    Useful resources
    AtCTs

    Ask the Community Team

    Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

    Welcome Lounge

    Welcome Lounge

    We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.