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What would your brutally honest dating profile say? watch

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    You guys are a bunch of downers lmao
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    (Original post by mrsjenner)
    you will certainly live.
    What is your sign, I'm tryna figure you out...:erm:
    ha keep guessing mr meany head
    il give you a clue
    first quarter of the year

    i might even disclose it below
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    i joke
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    Desperately single slightly-oversized toddler seeks human with good dog to provide constant validation and cuddles on demand. Must be willing to act as an emotional crutch at all times. I will make you lots of cake so you love me.
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    If you're after romance, you've come to the wrong place! My idea of a good night in involves baby oil and fingering. I hope you have a good sense of humour and do well on a lack of sleep - both of these will be required when my protein farts keep you awake at night.

    A bit more about me. I'm selfish - nay, I'm a bit of a narcissist and rather vain. I expect you to doll yourself up when we go out, but you'd better not take too long in the bathroom as I also take ages. I'm also incredibly impatient so you should do your best to be ready by the time I am and never be late for anything.

    I require a girl that lifts and has a fantastic ass as a result - if this isn't you, please move along, I can't bend on this. I also need someone who can cook, clean and run a house - I'm not sexist, but I am lazy.

    I'm a funny guy and love a laugh, but to the point that I might not take your problems seriously. Ido however expect you to be sympathetic when I'm going through hard times.

    If you think I sound like fun, get in touch!

    P.S. No children.
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    ha keep guessing mr meany head
    il give you a clue
    first quarter of the year

    i might even disclose it below
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    i joke
    I'll just go ahead and say you're a Capricorn
    since you're annoying me greatly and being whiny
    I was trying to be nice by changing the subject and you post something immature like this :hmmm:

    do one then toots
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    haha i laughed so hard!


    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    i laughed way to much while reading this :rofl:

    Ime its fun for everyone except when its time of the month and i get told off because they are sensitive then

    via Imgflip Meme Maker
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    (Original post by mrsjenner)
    Cavester oh my goodnaz :beard:and you never know, you're probably an undiscovered undercover super freak.
    looool can u imagine :rofl: loooool :lol:
    well who knows what might happen



    (Original post by apronedsamurai)
    Nonsense.

    You make people (like me) happy (all the time) with your bubbly, effervescent self.

    Don't put yourself down MWE
    awwwh samurai <3 you are too cute but i didn't really mean like in general
    people would probs want more than my effervescent self in bed lool omg can't believe what i'm writting :lol:
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    If you're after romance, you've come to the wrong place! My idea of a good night in involves baby oil and fingering. I hope you have a good sense of humour and do well on a lack of sleep - both of these will be required when my protein farts keep you awake at night.

    A bit more about me. I'm selfish - nay, I'm a bit of a narcissist and rather vain. I expect you to doll yourself up when we go out, but you'd better not take too long in the bathroom as I also take ages. I'm also incredibly impatient so you should do your best to be ready by the time I am and never be late for anything.

    I require a girl that lifts and has a fantastic ass as a result - if this isn't you, please move along, I can't bend on this. I also need someone who can cook, clean and run a house - I'm not sexist, but I am lazy.

    I'm a funny guy and love a laugh, but to the point that I might not take your problems seriously. Ido however expect you to be sympathetic when I'm going through hard times.

    If you think I sound like fun, get in touch!

    P.S. No children.
    Done at the first sentence :toofunny:

    ok 2nd sentence.
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    Random crying outbursts, stress head and training to be a crazy cat lady.
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    (Original post by serah.exe)
    Active 15 minutes ago? No way was she at the gym
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    If you're after romance, you've come to the wrong place! My idea of a good night in involves baby oil and fingering. I hope you have a good sense of humour and do well on a lack of sleep - both of these will be required when my protein farts keep you awake at night.

    A bit more about me. I'm selfish - nay, I'm a bit of a narcissist and rather vain. I expect you to doll yourself up when we go out, but you'd better not take too long in the bathroom as I also take ages. I'm also incredibly impatient so you should do your best to be ready by the time I am and never be late for anything.

    I require a girl that lifts and has a fantastic ass as a result - if this isn't you, please move along, I can't bend on this. I also need someone who can cook, clean and run a house - I'm not sexist, but I am lazy.

    I'm a funny guy and love a laugh, but to the point that I might not take your problems seriously. Ido however expect you to be sympathetic when I'm going through hard times.

    If you think I sound like fun, get in touch!

    P.S. No children.
    i honestly want to see this on a dating site one day and ask about the responses you get lol

    (Original post by mrsjenner)
    I'll just go ahead and say you're a Capricorn
    since you're annoying me greatly and being whiny
    I was trying to be nice by changing the subject and you post something immature like this :hmmm:

    do one then toots
    wrong
    bet your fun at parties jeeez
    aries btw
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)

    P.S. No children.
    She's looking for a man not an apartment :rofl:
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    i honestly want to see this on a dating site one day and ask about the responses you get lol



    wrong
    bet your fun at parties jeeez
    aries btw
    literally me reading this:
    :bored:
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    Workaholic with unreasonably high standards seeks intelligent man for predominantly physical but somewhat emotional relationship
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    (Original post by mrsjenner)
    literally me reading this:
    :bored:
    wow you really are an a hole
    give up even trying to be nice to you
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    (Original post by CoolCavy)
    looool can u imagine :rofl: loooool :lol:
    well who knows what might happen





    awwwh samurai <3 you are too cute but i didn't really mean like in general
    people would probs want more than my effervescent self in bed lool omg can't believe what i'm writting :lol:
    Cavy what is up with you today lol
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    (Original post by Betelgeuse-)
    Ime its fun for everyone except when its time of the month and i get told off because they are sensitive then

    via Imgflip Meme Maker


    ommgg i'm actaully crying :rofl:

    how and why do you know so much detail :rofl:
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    wow you really are an a hole
    give up even trying to be nice to you
    i wil liv
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    (Original post by mrsjenner)
    Cavy what is up with you today lol
    Ikr O_o normally i at least manage to restrain myself until like 9pm
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    (Original post by AJP98)
    Workaholic with unreasonably high standards seeks intelligent man for predominantly physical but somewhat emotional relationship
    I'll meet them (unless you require modesty)
 
 
 
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