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Asexuals: when and how did you know? Watch

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    I've been considering the possibility that I'm asexual for over three years, but I keep going back to square one. I'm a bit fed up of going back and forth, and there have been situations when I was asked about my orientation, and just couldn't get any words out. I always end up saying straight, because that's the default option, and probably the most likely, but it feels so forced and unnatural.

    Whilst I realise that most people know form the first time they hear about asexuality, there are also others who were once at the same stage as myself.

    My question is: was there a defining moment in your life when you knew for sure that you are asexual? Did you go through this phase of mixed feelings? How old were you when you realised?

    Normally I couldn't care less about something like this, but I want to (a) be able to give a straight answer when asked (pun unintended), and (b) organise my thoughts on the matter a little.

    Thanks for sharing!
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    This sounds really stupid- but what does it mean to be asexual?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    xx
    When I realized that kissing is disgusting, and sex abominable.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This sounds really stupid- but what does it mean to be asexual?
    Essentially somebody who has no desire for sexual intercourse. No sex drive at all.
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    I know exactly what you mean- I keep overanalysing and questioning myself all the time, and I've been in situations where I feel like I'm lying by omission about my (a)sexuality, and then I question myself again and wonder whether I am asexual after all. For me, realising I was asexual came from realising that my confusion over whether I was gay/ straight didn't arise from me being bi or just confused- I didn't know because I literally didn't experience attraction to either. At all. It made sense of my confusion. It was really just a retrospective moment where I looked back at myself and thought 'oh, that makes sense now.' I still question myself occasionally, but I just realised that it just rationalises everything for me, and just fits who I am, if that makes sense?
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    (Original post by sheepishewe)
    I know exactly what you mean- I keep overanalysing and questioning myself all the time, and I've been in situations where I feel like I'm lying by omission about my (a)sexuality, and then I question myself again and wonder whether I am asexual after all. For me, realising I was asexual came from realising that my confusion over whether I was gay/ straight didn't arise from me being bi or just confused- I didn't know because I literally didn't experience attraction to either. At all. It made sense of my confusion. It was really just a retrospective moment where I looked back at myself and thought 'oh, that makes sense now.' I still question myself occasionally, but I just realised that it just rationalises everything for me, and just fits who I am, if that makes sense?
    Same here. I've just never had a sex drive so I spent ages wondering why everyone my age was going out getting laid while I had no interest in it whatsoever.

    The moment I was sure though was when I fell in love with hydrogen peroxide molecules... it's platonic of course. The closest thing I have to a boyfriend is a giant cuddly hydrogen peroxide molecule. It's kinda weird, I experience no sexual or platonic attraction towards human beings, but then a molecule sort of became my platonic boyfriend. I don't even know what to call that, but asexual's close enough.
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    (Original post by Peroxidation)
    Same here. I've just never had a sex drive so I spent ages wondering why everyone my age was going out getting laid while I had no interest in it whatsoever.

    The moment I was sure though was when I fell in love with hydrogen peroxide molecules... it's platonic of course. The closest thing I have to a boyfriend is a giant cuddly hydrogen peroxide molecule. It's kinda weird, I experience no sexual or platonic attraction towards human beings, but then a molecule sort of became my platonic boyfriend. I don't even know what to call that, but asexual's close enough.
    You only get posts like this ^ on tsr
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    (Original post by indigofox)
    You only get posts like this ^ on tsr
    Lol, that's true.

    Tbh I'm a little proud of it. I don't have any competition!
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    (Original post by Peroxidation)
    Lol, that's true.

    Tbh I'm a little proud of it. I don't have any competition!
    To be honest I dont really have a sex drive either nor like kissing. I could go my whole life without it anyway wouldnt bother me. Its more common than people think I think quite a few get dragged into sex . I dont have a bond with hydrogen peroxide though, more red blood cells at the moment as thats what im doing about.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by sheepishewe)
    I know exactly what you mean- I keep overanalysing and questioning myself all the time, and I've been in situations where I feel like I'm lying by omission about my (a)sexuality, and then I question myself again and wonder whether I am asexual after all. For me, realising I was asexual came from realising that my confusion over whether I was gay/ straight didn't arise from me being bi or just confused- I didn't know because I literally didn't experience attraction to either. At all. It made sense of my confusion. It was really just a retrospective moment where I looked back at myself and thought 'oh, that makes sense now.' I still question myself occasionally, but I just realised that it just rationalises everything for me, and just fits who I am, if that makes sense?
    Yes, this sounds about right! When I was in primary school I would find a boy that annoyed me less than the others and decide that I would like him. But I genuinely do not know what sexual or romantic attraction even feels like. For all I know, I could be attracted to everyone all the time. The worst part of it is that I was in a relationship for a year and a half, and while I got comfortable with him, so much of it was a lie. I basically felt terrible the whole time. I didn't want to get into it in the first place, but I gave up on saying no. I've been looking at everyone around me and trying to picture myself in a relationship with them, but no matter who it is, just the idea pisses me off slightly (I guess aromanticism comes into play here).
    I think the main reason why I don't want to decide on what exactly I am is because I'm scared I'll suddenly develop these feelings and have to explain it to everyone.
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    (Original post by indigofox)
    I dont have a bond with hydrogen peroxide though, more red blood cells at the moment as thats what im doing about.
    An erythrophile?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been considering the possibility that I'm asexual for over three years, but I keep going back to square one. I'm a bit fed up of going back and forth, and there have been situations when I was asked about my orientation, and just couldn't get any words out. I always end up saying straight, because that's the default option, and probably the most likely, but it feels so forced and unnatural.

    Whilst I realise that most people know form the first time they hear about asexuality, there are also others who were once at the same stage as myself.

    My question is: was there a defining moment in your life when you knew for sure that you are asexual? Did you go through this phase of mixed feelings? How old were you when you realised?

    Normally I couldn't care less about something like this, but I want to (a) be able to give a straight answer when asked (pun unintended), and (b) organise my thoughts on the matter a little.

    Thanks for sharing!
    -Cracks knuckles- Here we go; Bringing out the big guns; the A-Team to assist me with your dilemma.
    Airmed Eternalflames shall we explain our stories (again) to people? :P

    I found out when I was around 12/13 after a session of 'sexting' with someone who I took an interest in. After receiving the pictures, I realised they weren't sexually stimulating me. Nor was the conversation. I have never been attracted to men, naturally, so it wasn't an issue there. But realising I was also unstimulated from interaction with women, I considered the possibility of being Ace. Since digging deeper, I've grown to realise that masturbation doesn't feel 'good' for me, nor does it produce the normal outcome. I find all genitals repulsive, I've never kissed anyone and I've never had sex. I could gladly and easily live without it. And as I've grown older and seen the souls around me finding love, I have only been on a path to self discovery since I cannot find love nor emote love.

    The only questions I have concerning my sexuality include:
    Am I actually Heteroromantic, since I can't feel love?
    If I do fall in love, how am I going to feel about sexually pleasing my partner?

    But I know my lack of a sex drive places me firmly as Asexual. Question is, for this, could that be due to being anorexic? Two of the side effects in males includes erectile dysfuntion and reduction or loss in sex drive. Hopefully this helps you!
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    (Original post by Tinemither)
    -Cracks knuckles- Here we go; Bringing out the big guns; the A-Team to assist me with your dilemma.
    Airmed Eternalflames shall we explain our stories (again) to people? :P

    I found out when I was around 12/13 after a session of 'sexting' with someone who I took an interest in. After receiving the pictures, I realised they weren't sexually stimulating me. Nor was the conversation. I have never been attracted to men, naturally, so it wasn't an issue there. But realising I was also unstimulated from interaction with women, I considered the possibility of being Ace. Since digging deeper, I've grown to realise that masturbation doesn't feel 'good' for me, nor does it produce the normal outcome. I find all genitals repulsive, I've never kissed anyone and I've never had sex. I could gladly and easily live without it. And as I've grown older and seen the souls around me finding love, I have only been on a path to self discovery since I cannot find love nor emote love.

    The only questions I have concerning my sexuality include:
    Am I actually Heteroromantic, since I can't feel love?
    If I do fall in love, how am I going to feel about sexually pleasing my partner?

    But I know my lack of a sex drive places me firmly as Asexual. Question is, for this, could that be due to being anorexic? Two of the side effects in males includes erectile dysfuntion and reduction or loss in sex drive. Hopefully this helps you!
    When did I know - I was 17 when I felt sex and love wasn't something I wanted but I didn't come across the word 'asexual' until I was 18 on TSR itself

    How did I know - I didn't feel sexually attracted towards anyone, and never have an urge to masturbate.

    I get aesthetic attraction to people, and can have hetero-romantic attraction. I do sometimes think I might be demisexual (where you feel sexual only after a strong emotional bond is present) but I don't know, since I haven't had such a connection with anyone.
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    (Original post by indigofox)
    To be honest I dont really have a sex drive either nor like kissing. I could go my whole life without it anyway wouldnt bother me. Its more common than people think I think quite a few get dragged into sex . I dont have a bond with hydrogen peroxide though, more red blood cells at the moment as thats what im doing about.
    Ah, so you're another member of the "I fell in love with my research" club? As bad as this sounds I'm glad I'm not the only weirdo out there!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been considering the possibility that I'm asexual for over three years, but I keep going back to square one. I'm a bit fed up of going back and forth, and there have been situations when I was asked about my orientation, and just couldn't get any words out. I always end up saying straight, because that's the default option, and probably the most likely, but it feels so forced and unnatural.

    Whilst I realise that most people know form the first time they hear about asexuality, there are also others who were once at the same stage as myself.

    My question is: was there a defining moment in your life when you knew for sure that you are asexual? Did you go through this phase of mixed feelings? How old were you when you realised?

    Normally I couldn't care less about something like this, but I want to (a) be able to give a straight answer when asked (pun unintended), and (b) organise my thoughts on the matter a little.

    Thanks for sharing!
    Dammit, another person fallen to the stupid agenda.

    You're straight, but you just haven't/ don't enjoy sex much. That's completely normal, don't let people say you have to identify as some stupidly specific sexuality. You're straight, with a low desire for sex. Simple as. For example, if I dislike meat, and never eat it because it tastes bad, doesn't mean I'm vegan. I just don't enjoy it. Simple as.

    Society over complicates everything ffs
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    (Original post by Peroxidation)
    Same here. I've just never had a sex drive so I spent ages wondering why everyone my age was going out getting laid while I had no interest in it whatsoever.

    The moment I was sure though was when I fell in love with hydrogen peroxide molecules... it's platonic of course. The closest thing I have to a boyfriend is a giant cuddly hydrogen peroxide molecule. It's kinda weird, I experience no sexual or platonic attraction towards human beings, but then a molecule sort of became my platonic boyfriend. I don't even know what to call that, but asexual's close enough.
    Amazing post I commend you for it :lol:
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    (Original post by ComputerMaths97)
    You're straight, but you just haven't/ don't enjoy sex much. That's completely normal, don't let people say you have to identify as some stupidly specific sexuality. You're straight, with a low desire for sex. Simple as.
    Straight means sexually attracted to the opposite sex.
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    (Original post by morgan8002)
    Straight means sexually attracted to the opposite sex.
    Thanks.... Am I missing something? Why on earth are you telling me your opinion on what being straight consists of?
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    (Original post by ComputerMaths97)
    Thanks.... Am I missing something? Why on earth are you telling me your opinion on what being straight consists of?
    I think that's roughly the generally accepted definition. What do you think straight means?
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    (Original post by ComputerMaths97)
    Dammit, another person fallen to the stupid agenda.

    You're straight, but you just haven't/ don't enjoy sex much. That's completely normal, don't let people say you have to identify as some stupidly specific sexuality. You're straight, with a low desire for sex. Simple as. For example, if I dislike meat, and never eat it because it tastes bad, doesn't mean I'm vegan. I just don't enjoy it. Simple as.

    Society over complicates everything ffs
    That's your opinion though. No one here is saying that the OP needs to identify as xyz, he just asking a question to people who have decided that they are aexual how did they come to that conclusion.
 
 
 
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