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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Think this is rubbish, nothing to do with education.
    the thing is 999tigger, a liar is much more likely to be caught out and kicked off a degree at undergraduate level. given the amount of work it takes to do a degree. maybe you have never done one, i guess??
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tl;dr - I have had a string of liars/bad men, why is this happening and how can I stop it?

    I've been dating for a while and Im looking for something lasting and serious but for some reason I just keep running into liars.

    My last 4 encounters went something like this:

    Guy 1: met through uni friends, we dated for about 6 months. He was secretly dependent on weed and lied to me about it. When I realised, I ended it. He seemed upset but then a week later he had a new girlfriend.

    Guy 2: met him on a dating site, we got on really well and had a great date. He mentioned his ex who he had been with for 7 years and had recently split up with. I decided not to go on a second date because I got the feeling he wasn't over her. Later I found out he had had another girlfriend (not the 7 year one) the entire time, not sure why he went on a date with me as it was quite clearly cheating. He's now married.

    Guy 3: met him at school, ran into him on a dating site. He had listed 'Looking for a long term relationship'. We were getting on really well, until he said his 'head was really messed up at the moment and he didn't see himself falling in love or being in a relationship' - basically had been lying/acting like he wanted a relationship but just wanted easy sex.

    Guy 4: met at work on an induction day, got on well but I never gave him my details or anything. Forgot about it until I got an email from him a couple of days later saying 'hi Sophie, was really nice to meet you the other day, do you want to go for a coffee sometime?' I said yes. Then he showed up at my work and tried to sit next to me, kept following me around the office, emailing me all day and repeatedly asking me if I wanted to go to lunch. Eventually I said yes to lunch and we are chatting about who we live with and he ends up admitting he lives with his gf. I was shocked.

    Basically - what on earth am I doing wrong? I have met these guys in totally different scenarios and yet they've all ended up being dishonest in some way or another. Does anyone have any tips on how to avoid these guys and find a nice guy who is honest and straightforward? My friend says there's no such thing as a nice guy anymore so I shouldn't hold out hope for something that doesn't exist. Help!
    Aw. You sound cute. Focus on yourself and your own individual life, develop yourself in many ways and then you can start thinking about boyfriends. x
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    Yes we're all liars, every single one of us. Hell I'm lying right now.
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    (Original post by john2054)
    the thing is 999tigger, a liar is much more likely to be caught out and kicked off a degree at undergraduate level. given the amount of work it takes to do a degree. maybe you have never done one, i guess??
    Why would you be guessing at my level of education?
    Show me some research to show that educated people lie any less or are any more honest than those who havent been to uni.

    Whether you do a degree or not doesnt mean you dont lie, as you can choose to lie about things that have nothing to do with studying.

    Your assertion that lying is linked to education is nonsense.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Why would you be guessing at my level of education?
    Show me some research...

    Do a degree and you will learn to validate your own research

    Whether you do a degree or not doesnt mean you dont lie...

    maybe not, but in this case i am a principled guy. and i only lie when it is to protect the wellbeing of myself or others, ergo good industry practice

    Your assertion that lying is linked to education is nonsense.
    not true again. if you try to get through uni lying (eg faking your assignments) the chances are you will get caught out and kicked out of uni. yes i've seen it happen!
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    All women are murders look at this extensive list I have compiled to prove my point Marie Manning, Constance Kent, Belle Gunness and Dagmar Overbye, that is enough evidence to prove my point.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tl;dr - I have had a string of liars/bad men, why is this happening and how can I stop it?

    I've been dating for a while and Im looking for something lasting and serious but for some reason I just keep running into liars.

    My last 4 encounters went something like this:

    Guy 1: met through uni friends, we dated for about 6 months. He was secretly dependent on weed and lied to me about it. When I realised, I ended it. He seemed upset but then a week later he had a new girlfriend.

    Guy 2: met him on a dating site, we got on really well and had a great date. He mentioned his ex who he had been with for 7 years and had recently split up with. I decided not to go on a second date because I got the feeling he wasn't over her. Later I found out he had had another girlfriend (not the 7 year one) the entire time, not sure why he went on a date with me as it was quite clearly cheating. He's now married.

    Guy 3: met him at school, ran into him on a dating site. He had listed 'Looking for a long term relationship'. We were getting on really well, until he said his 'head was really messed up at the moment and he didn't see himself falling in love or being in a relationship' - basically had been lying/acting like he wanted a relationship but just wanted easy sex.

    Guy 4: met at work on an induction day, got on well but I never gave him my details or anything. Forgot about it until I got an email from him a couple of days later saying 'hi Sophie, was really nice to meet you the other day, do you want to go for a coffee sometime?' I said yes. Then he showed up at my work and tried to sit next to me, kept following me around the office, emailing me all day and repeatedly asking me if I wanted to go to lunch. Eventually I said yes to lunch and we are chatting about who we live with and he ends up admitting he lives with his gf. I was shocked.

    Basically - what on earth am I doing wrong? I have met these guys in totally different scenarios and yet they've all ended up being dishonest in some way or another. Does anyone have any tips on how to avoid these guys and find a nice guy who is honest and straightforward? My friend says there's no such thing as a nice guy anymore so I shouldn't hold out hope for something that doesn't exist. Help!
    I've had a bad history with boys too, don't worry. I had a boyfriend a couple years back who lied to me about having schizophrenia and being suicidal; he was neither schizophrenic or suicidal. He also catfished me and lied to me about having a cousin in a coma and made me feel extremely bad for having a good life and a stable family and for years after him I didn't trust a single person, not even my best friend, and especially no men.I've also met various other guys who've just used me and once they have what they want just bugger off.But in summer 2015 I met a guy in France who is the most charming and loyal boy I've ever met and I feel safe around him.Basically what I'm trying to say is, there's someone out there for everyone so keep your eyes open but don't open your heart to the first guy who buys you a drink; get to know them and subtly test them on things that they may lie about to see if you can catch them out. I know it sounds evil but honestly it helps😇✌🏻️
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    (Original post by john2054)
    not true again. if you try to get through uni lying (eg faking your assignments) the chances are you will get caught out and kicked out of uni. yes i've seen it happen!
    If you make an assertion then its up to you to back it up, hence me calling it nonsense.

    You then out of nowhere make a claim staing what my level of education is, which again is a joke. You seem convinced of this now.

    You then link lying to lying about doing a degree, when in fact its perfectly easy not to lie and do a degree as normal, but it doesnt mean you cnat still lie about the topic of this thread which is about being a liar in a relationship.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    If you make an assertion then its up to you to back it up, hence me calling it nonsense.

    You then out of nowhere make a claim staing what my level of education is, which again is a joke. You seem convinced of this now.

    You then link lying to lying about doing a degree, when in fact its perfectly easy not to lie and do a degree as normal, but it doesnt mean you cnat still lie about the topic of this thread which is about being a liar in a relationship.
    Sorry 999 it's too late for me to be having this kind of argument. night. i hope you find your mr right, some time or other?
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    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    No. You just suck at picking men, you can't blame all men for your decisions.
    I don't think it's fair to make out that any of this is her fault. The only people who decided to lie were the men, and it's entirely their responsibility.
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    yes
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    (Original post by john2054)
    Look for the degree educated above, types. Because i think that you will find that doing 3/4/6/7 years of education tends to straighten a guy out. It certainly did me Sophie?
    Guy 1: university of Manchester
    Guy 2: top American uni
    Guy 2: Cambridge uni!
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    I agree with your friend, it's really hard to find a nice guy these days and even the nice ones lie


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    (Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
    I don't think it's fair to make out that any of this is her fault. The only people who decided to lie were the men, and it's entirely their responsibility.
    Thanks for this. I was mildly annoyed at all of these people but particularly the last one, which happened this week - he made me feel really stupid! Plus he was really uncomfortable talking about his gf which led me to believe he felt guilty and made me feel bad for her too.

    Also I think it's important to mention that I am NOT dating 'obvious bad boys' like the types people have mentioned in this thread. All the guys seem really nice and aren't the typical bad boy type at all, they're more 'wholesome', yet they don't give a second thought to trying to use me.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    1. Ive no reason to believe that men lie any more than women.
    2. As regards your dating then I think youve just been moderately unlucky. Obviously some men will lie for sex or because its gets them something. If they get caught then they move on. Thing is with your men you seem to have escaped unscathed and you caught them out meaning they werent that good.
    3. Plenty of men dont lie, its a bit counterproductive and dull, especually if you want to build trust.

    Keep looking, get faster at spotting and booting the dishonest ones and eventually you'll find someone who will be straight. Its importnat that you dont let your bad experiences embitter you towards men or people in general. By getting through the dross then it serves a purpose, which is knowing what you dont want and valuing people who are straightforward and honest. Hang in there.
    Thank you for this, this is the best advice on this thread!
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    Trying too hard is sometime getting in wrong hands
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    (Original post by Steph_1919)
    I agree with your friend, it's really hard to find a nice guy these days and even the nice ones lie


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I'd like to extend my hand and introduce myself. I am a guy who won't lie to you. Not unless it is something which will undoubtedly benefit you, no questions asked. But I wouldn't use a lie to deliberately hurt you. Ever.

    Willing to take a risk? Get to know someone who won't hurt you intentionally?
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    (Original post by Tinemither)
    I'd like to extend my hand and introduce myself. I am a guy who won't lie to you. Not unless it is something which will undoubtedly benefit you, no questions asked. But I wouldn't use a lie to deliberately hurt you. Ever.

    Willing to take a risk? Get to know someone who won't hurt you intentionally?
    I tip my fedora to you, sir.
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    Let's be honest some males and females will lie, probably nothing you are doing wrong other than I would just take your time when meeting a guy.
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    I think, probably, there are just a large number of scummy men in the world. Sorry.

    Burn through enough of them, and you'll find a nice one.
 
 
 
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