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She's going back to her boyfriend and I feel desolate Watch

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    To put a long story short, I have been meeting a girl for sex. We have seen each other several times now, I caught feelings after a while with her. I don't know if she knows how I feel yet.

    She has a boyfriend and they are in a long distance relationship, I know it is wrong but I did not know that she had a boyfriend. I told her I was casually dating other girls too (a lie!). She told me that when they move into their new house together her feelings for him will come back. They have this really nice countryside house and she sounds like she is crazy for him. This hints that I am unlikely to ever see her again.

    She is moving to another city next week and I just cannot sleep or stop thinking about her. At the same time I don't want to admit how I feel for her because I know that I am likely to get rejected.

    It is all just a bit ****. I wish I knew what a difficult situation this would be, in which case I would never have pursued her.
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    (Original post by BlindingLight)
    Sluts everywhere
    Only way I can really feel good from any of this and end on a high is if I just cut all contact with her now. I would really REALLY hate it we get to the day before she leaves and I leave my heart and soul to her.

    I can't just keep wasting my time and my money being her number 2. **** that. No woman is worth that indignity.
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    (Original post by BlindingLight)
    Sluts everywhere
    not really.

    OP you knew it was casual hookups, you cant expect her to have feelings back although it was wrong for her to hook up while she had a bf.
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    (Original post by mkap)
    not really.

    OP you knew it was casual hookups, you cant expect her to have feelings back although it was wrong for her to hook up while she had a bf.
    I would have ignored her if I knew there was a bf she was going to go back to. I did not even know he existed. If I knew it was a dead end I would not have even pursued her.

    You don't know how many girls and possible good relationships I have turned down for her.
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    (Original post by BlindingLight)
    Women are a waste in general.
    In my life I just turned down the good ones because I found them too academic and boring. Both girls in my last year of university who I was dating ended up with first class degrees. I basically ended up ignoring them as I was bored. I choose the wrong types.

    I am pretty ****ed up. I just don't get why I have this mental problem.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To put a long story short, I have been meeting a girl for sex. We have seen each other several times now, I caught feelings after a while with her. I don't know if she knows how I feel yet.

    She has a boyfriend and they are in a long distance relationship, I know it is wrong but I did not know that she had a boyfriend. I told her I was casually dating other girls too (a lie!). She told me that when they move into their new house together her feelings for him will come back. They have this really nice countryside house and she sounds like she is crazy for him. This hints that I am unlikely to ever see her again.

    She is moving to another city next week and I just cannot sleep or stop thinking about her. At the same time I don't want to admit how I feel for her because I know that I am likely to get rejected.

    It is all just a bit ****. I wish I knew what a difficult situation this would be, in which case I would never have pursued her.
    YOu are an option to her, is that what you want. You need to stop sleeping with her, to be honest I feel sorry for her boyfriend more than anything.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    YOu are an option to her, is that what you want. You need to stop sleeping with her, to be honest I feel sorry for her boyfriend more than anything.
    I know that when the irrational being in love feeling ends, I would have major trust issues with her.

    The only way I can turn away from this with any dignity is to walk away, cut her completely out of my life and really focus on my own development.

    Maybe it will haunt me for a long time, but I cannot live in indignity.

    It's finished.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To put a long story short, I have been meeting a girl for sex. We have seen each other several times now, I caught feelings after a while with her. I don't know if she knows how I feel yet.

    She has a boyfriend and they are in a long distance relationship, I know it is wrong but I did not know that she had a boyfriend. I told her I was casually dating other girls too (a lie!). She told me that when they move into their new house together her feelings for him will come back. They have this really nice countryside house and she sounds like she is crazy for him. This hints that I am unlikely to ever see her again.

    She is moving to another city next week and I just cannot sleep or stop thinking about her. At the same time I don't want to admit how I feel for her because I know that I am likely to get rejected.

    It is all just a bit ****. I wish I knew what a difficult situation this would be, in which case I would never have pursued her.
    Woah OP this is wrong on many levels. Firstly, she has a boyfriend, although it does sound like you were unsure of his existence to begin with. If you were genuinely naive of his existence, then I'd not take things any further. Think about her boyfriend, imagine if you were him, you'd be so upset, angry and your trust completely shattered, stuff like this destroys people's lives.

    To you its just sex, but really, your not thinking about the other bloke (who assumes his missus is loyal to only him). The girl should know better, she is basically stringing you both along and wanting her cake and eating it. I know you have no obligations to her boyfriend, but put yourself in his shoes.

    It is immoral, it is disgusting and thoughtless. More on her part than yours. How does she feel that she's cheating on her SO? Does it not cross her mind what she's doing?

    How can she love him? Does she really expect for her feelings to come back once they move in? Meanwhile, using the time before to fulfil her own selfish sexual desires.

    To me, it just sounds like she's making excuses to justify her infidelity and actions.

    This thread strikes a chord with me, as I am in a long term and long distance relationship, and I am also about to move in with my partner. In fact, I'm curious and somewhat paranoid as to whether this is my partner you speak of.

    Moral of the story: it's wrong what she is doing. Do yourself a favour and get out of this situation- she ain't gonna leave him, she's gonna string him along (unfortunately), and keep you on the hook. If you already knew she had a boyfriend then you should be ashamed. No excuses for that.
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    Do you even want to be with a girl who is cheating? like leave her ass, and be done.
    /end of
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    Am not reqally seeing your point OP. You got involved, you didnt mind cheating, but you palyed it poorly and its not ended up hwo you liked. Move on and waste less time on being depressed about it.

    Alternatively take the risk and do something about it. Maybe for her it was just sex. the bot about you dating other girls and not letting her know how you felt was facepalm, which youll just have to learn from in future. You'll live.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To put a long story short, I have been meeting a girl for sex. We have seen each other several times now, I caught feelings after a while with her. I don't know if she knows how I feel yet.

    She has a boyfriend and they are in a long distance relationship, I know it is wrong but I did not know that she had a boyfriend. I told her I was casually dating other girls too (a lie!). She told me that when they move into their new house together her feelings for him will come back. They have this really nice countryside house and she sounds like she is crazy for him. This hints that I am unlikely to ever see her again.

    She is moving to another city next week and I just cannot sleep or stop thinking about her. At the same time I don't want to admit how I feel for her because I know that I am likely to get rejected.

    It is all just a bit ****. I wish I knew what a difficult situation this would be, in which case I would never have pursued her.
    If she has a wedding, be that one person that storms in when they say "any objections?"

    .....


    I think I watched too many soap operas as a kid :ahee:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To put a long story short, I have been meeting a girl for sex. We have seen each other several times now, I caught feelings after a while with her. I don't know if she knows how I feel yet.

    She has a boyfriend and they are in a long distance relationship, I know it is wrong but I did not know that she had a boyfriend. I told her I was casually dating other girls too (a lie!). She told me that when they move into their new house together her feelings for him will come back. They have this really nice countryside house and she sounds like she is crazy for him. This hints that I am unlikely to ever see her again.

    She is moving to another city next week and I just cannot sleep or stop thinking about her. At the same time I don't want to admit how I feel for her because I know that I am likely to get rejected.

    It is all just a bit ****. I wish I knew what a difficult situation this would be, in which case I would never have pursued her.
    I genuinely feel bad for her bf, I hope he finds this out and ends it. I doubt she'd change if she's going to continue living with her bf while hiding what she did, she's (probably) bound to do it again.
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    Broke it off with her tonight. I need a drink.
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    (Original post by royal1990)
    Woah OP this is wrong on many levels. Firstly, she has a boyfriend, although it does sound like you were unsure of his existence to begin with. If you were genuinely naive of his existence, then I'd not take things any further. Think about her boyfriend, imagine if you were him, you'd be so upset, angry and your trust completely shattered, stuff like this destroys people's lives.

    To you its just sex, but really, your not thinking about the other bloke (who assumes his missus is loyal to only him). The girl should know better, she is basically stringing you both along and wanting her cake and eating it. I know you have no obligations to her boyfriend, but put yourself in his shoes.

    It is immoral, it is disgusting and thoughtless. More on her part than yours. How does she feel that she's cheating on her SO? Does it not cross her mind what she's doing?

    How can she love him? Does she really expect for her feelings to come back once they move in? Meanwhile, using the time before to fulfil her own selfish sexual desires.

    To me, it just sounds like she's making excuses to justify her infidelity and actions.

    This thread strikes a chord with me, as I am in a long term and long distance relationship, and I am also about to move in with my partner. In fact, I'm curious and somewhat paranoid as to whether this is my partner you speak of.

    Moral of the story: it's wrong what she is doing. Do yourself a favour and get out of this situation- she ain't gonna leave him, she's gonna string him along (unfortunately), and keep you on the hook. If you already knew she had a boyfriend then you should be ashamed. No excuses for that.
    I was, until she told me last week. I think she can fool herself into thinking she loves him. They have a nice new apartment and all the nice scenery etc. But that is none of my business.

    He's an older guy in his 30's who went back to university, sounds like a cool guy. But I can't accept a girl like that, I can't be option B.

    I am thinking about the other bloke, hence my pretty much instant decision to tell her I am not going to see her anymore. The way she told me just casually was just a bit too much for me, she can quite easily **** around with my feelings too if that is how she treats the supposed guy she loves.

    I had to be harsh to do the right thing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was, until she told me last week. I think she can fool herself into thinking she loves him. They have a nice new apartment and all the nice scenery etc. But that is none of my business.

    He's an older guy in his 30's who went back to university, sounds like a cool guy. But I can't accept a girl like that, I can't be option B.

    I am thinking about the other bloke, hence my pretty much instant decision to tell her I am not going to see her anymore. The way she told me just casually was just a bit too much for me, she can quite easily **** around with my feelings too if that is how she treats the supposed guy she loves.

    I had to be harsh to do the right thing.
    Funny you come across as though its all your choice when the reality is she chose to go back to the other guy and any chance you had you played poorly.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Funny you come across as though its all your choice when the reality is she chose to go back to the other guy and any chance you had you played poorly.
    It was my choice to leave her, she wanted to meet up every month when she came back north to visit her family. Basically, she wanted an 'affair'. I was like "Nah" and told her I never wanted to really see her again.
    There was a chance yes. If I wanted to be a "lad" then I could quite easily have played the whole "I love you" game , but hey, my sense of good morality is not so absent. I think I can walk away from this knowing I actually did nothing wrong.

    Are you saying that I should manipulate her just to 'play well'? :lol:
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    Sex is sex, try not to get too attached to your sexual partners.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It was my choice to leave her, she wanted to meet up every month when she came back north to visit her family. Basically, she wanted an 'affair'. I was like "Nah" and told her I never wanted to really see her again.
    There was a chance yes. If I wanted to be a "lad" then I could quite easily have played the whole "I love you" game , but hey, my sense of good morality is not so absent. I think I can walk away from this knowing I actually did nothing wrong.

    Are you saying that I should manipulate her just to 'play well'? :lol:
    No just walk away, Im saying it didnt turn out as you expected and you are pretending you were more in control of the situation than you were.
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    What a terrible person, getting out was a good idea
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    No just walk away, Im saying it didnt turn out as you expected and you are pretending you were more in control of the situation than you were.
    Yeah, I have feelings for her, of course I am not in total control. But I went against my feelings and I used common sense. It did not turn out as expected because there was a boyfriend I didn't even know existed, i.e. I thought it was just like any other guy meets a girl relationship before this reality came up.

    Do you think it is nice finding out that you were option B all along? That she was probably ****ing him when she was not with me? What if he also sleeps around and I caught something? She doesn't give a damn about me and that is what made me accept all of this.
 
 
 
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