Teetotalism - why the stigma?

Right, I'm not very good at this whole "sharing problems" malarky, so you'll have to bear with me....

I don't generally drink alcohol, although I do make the very occasional exception. I don't like the taste, and I'm not so keen on the concept of being drunk. But, I have no issues with those that do.

I didn't think it was an especially big deal, some my friends back home knew about it and all was good.

As such, in 2005 when I started Uni, I had no scruples about telling the folks in my halls. BIG mistake, those three little words - "I don't drink" - turned me from an equal member of the community to a total outcast. People gave me filthy looks and rarely invited me out. Even the hall leaders were disgusted. As well as being upsetting, this also confused me a great deal - what are my preferences and beliefs to other people anyway?

Fast forward to now, and I have a bunch of friends from my courses. I'm wary about telling them of my non-drinkingness, so I tend to refuse to go on nights out with them, lest they discover my little secret. Recently, a small group of them asked why I never wanted to come out. Trusting them enough at this point, I came clean...

....and now, after a barrage of disparaging remarks (apparently I'm "not a real student" and "should be shot") they won't talk to me. WHY? I mean it's not even a big deal, IMO anyway! Anyone would think I'd just confessed to eating babies or something!

It's just mad, just why is there such a stigma attached to non-drinkingness (without a reason such as religion) in the University environment? Is it because the culture's so heavily alcohol based? A common assumption seems to be that because I don't drink, I also hate others drinking. Which is utter bullcrap, I have no issues with what other people do so long as they don't try and push it off on me. Hell, I even bring bottles of alcoholic produce to parties for others to enjoy, without having any myself.

I did try last year to MAKE myself like booze to no avail. I just can't stand the stuff.

Has anyone been in a similar position? And what did you do? Or conversely, does anyone think my "friends' " actions were justified? Really fecked off at the moment. :frown:

Reply 1

tetrahydrocannabinol.

10

I've never had a problem with non-drinkers. Good for them, why should they be judged because they don't like something? You should ignore idiots who judge you for what you do or don't do. Most of my mates at uni smoke weed way more than they drink, so it's not that big of a deal, I don't think. Drinking makes me feel really sick sometimes and I find most drinks taste nasty. I'd rather smoke some weed any day.

Reply 2

General Mullet

That's student culture for you. Take solace in the fact that you aren't one of those unoriginal worthless drones.

Reply 3

supercat

2

I'm teetotal, and I find it strange you've come across such problems. Generally teetotal people that have a problem are those that turn their nose up at people who drink (baad) but from what you've said it doesn't sound like you're like that at all.

These people seem strange. There must be some people that won't treat you like that. Maybe invite yourself along to a night out so that they can see you'll have fun and enjoy yourself with them. I think you might have caused a bit of a problem by avoiding nights out; no one would necessarily know you didn't drink because you could drink Coke or something. Perhaps they think that because you avoided nights out you don't like them at all.

Try talking to them and telling them that you have nothing against them drinking, that you enjoy nights out, but drinking just isn't for you.

I personally don't even really like clubbing, but people have been cool with that and we've done other stuff instead. Good luck.

Reply 4

tetrahydrocannabinol.

10

General Mullet

That's student culture for you. Take solace in the fact that you aren't one of those unoriginal worthless drones.

^o)

Reply 5

sufiankane

2

shudnt be a prblem, i dont drink and my friends dont give a toss.

Reply 6

--

3

chloe-libertine

^o)

Exactly, pretty good way to insult 99% of The STUDENT Room population, you mullet.

Reply 7

tetrahydrocannabinol.

10

3232

Exactly, pretty good way to insult 99% of The STUDENT Room population, you mullet.

It's probably because he never go into uni. Bless, he's jealous of the 24-hour partying and general fun craziness of uni. Can't blame him. :biggrin:

Reply 8

BlackpoolCraig

11

I'm pretty shocked to hear this, because the non-drinking student is becoming a staple of university life. I know four teetotallers. Two for medical reasons,and two out of preference. (these two will have the occasional drink.)

I find that it's best not to make a big deal of not drinking, and still go out, and chat to people. If the people outcast you, then they're rubbish friends, and I'd say that it'd be best to find some new friends.

There are some groups at my university that have a heavy drinking culture. I find it odd that you are more pressured to drink in the hockey club than in the real ale society, (who will always accept non-drinkers who prefer pubs to clubs) but I guess things are weird.

Most universities have policies that state that non-drinkers are not be made to feel unwelcome by corridoor reps. I certainly know that lancaster does. Maybe you should see what your union's policy is.

Reply 9

General Mullet

Best 20 grand of my life?

Reply 10

tetrahydrocannabinol.

10

General Mullet

Best 20 grand of my life?

I think 'life' is the key word there. And life is about amazing experiences you'll have to remember for the rest of your life. Not sitting alone in a room counting your money.

Reply 11

--

3

Best £150,000 bonus after.

Reply 12

General Mullet

chloe-libertine

I think 'life' is the key word there. And life is about amazing experiences you'll have to remember for the rest of your life. Not sitting alone in a room counting your money.

You sound like a prospectus!

Reply 13

tetrahydrocannabinol.

10

3232

Best £150,000 bonus after.

Reply 14

=nuke=

11

Well... this is interesting; I've found that at university it's not a big deal at all after the first week passes. At secondary school it was all about peer pressure and people felt like they had to drink and they'd question people like myself constantly but at university most people have grown out of that.

Reply 15

Bubblebee

15

Perhaps because you avoided nights out with them they think you do disapprove of drinking.

There was a chap in my flat (he lasted uni for about a week) and on the first day he arrived his parents made it clear to me and my other flatmate that their whole familly looks down on drinking, his mother in particular said some rather nasty things to me about women drinking. We tried to let the guy fit in but he was just as bad as his parents, telling me only whores drank alcohol and asking how my friend had gotten into uni as he was Irish!!
Because of the few extreamists like my old friend there tee-totallers seem to have gained a reputation which the majority don't deserve.

However your friends sound like pricks, I'd probably ditch them for being so immature but it's your decision in the end.

Reply 16

tetrahydrocannabinol.

10

General Mullet

You sound like a prospectus!

I just love uni...
;kissing2;
Me and uni there ^

Reply 17

Talya

16

I didn't drink for most of semester 1and 2 of my first year but now i do a little (maybe one if I go out), I've never found there's any stigma and you are obviously hanging around with the wrong people if there is!