Trust Issues Long Distance

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Trussblink
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Report Thread starter 5 years ago
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I signed up solely for this site to post this, after reading another one on a similar topic-

Ex and I are LONG distance-
4,000+ miles
I'm England, she's Florida

We met on a social media website, hit it off, and then she was forced off the site due to a huge amount of issues in her life

She came back, because she wanted to get back in touch with me; she got her sister initially to message me to make sure I was still the guy she wanted to talk to

At the time I was with a different girl, and Flordia kept track of the relationship

Her and I broke up and got back together, and Florida didn't like that, but she was kind because she didn't ever interrupt or try and get a foot in the door, as it were-

I left the girl for Florida, after Florida and I connected really, really well-
Even just as friends, Florida and I were able to talk about anything, apart from our feeling for eachother, because yeah. We argued a lot, but the difference between her and any other friend is we made up, no matter the argument

We started a relationship, and 4-5 months down the line, due to my own personal reasons, her and I grew apart

She'd tell her friends problems and have them sort her out as opposed to me-
I started to lose touch with her, and admittedly felt a bit redundant; if I wasn't the one to support her, or offer her something no other guy could, then what good was I?

We had a messy few months, then broke up; she broke down, started a few bad habits, and I flipped at her whe I heard she was doing unhealthy things

We spoke it out after literally telling eachother we hated eachother and we thought we were both disappointments

We're talking again-
We agreed to give eachother space to each become the better people we were, before trying a relationship again

Then I woke up to a message today from her; she was crying- she was apologising for everything she said. She apologised for acting and doing what she did. She told me she wanted her best friend back, who is/was me, and I feel exactly the same

Her elder sister hates me, and is trying to convice Flordia to leave me for good
Florida a few nights ago apparently had an awkwad moment with her friend last night, where she had accidentally led him to believe she liked him-

Apparently "something almost happened"
Nothing sex related; I imagine it was just a kiss, or almost a kiss

------

The whole situation is my fault, but I've been so untrusting of her for a while; I have had some saving graces of trust, but I still feel uneasy

Almost a year since we started dating, online of course, and she admits she's not been herself in the last few months because of a plethora of things-

She's my everything; that's soppy, but everyone has someone they're just completely invested in

I wouldn't even care if she'd kissed the guy

I know the pain and need for comfort after a hard relationship, but it just hurts to know she was that close to kissing someone else, even on break
It wasn't even break; we hadn't even spoke about getting back together

I want to ask how it nearly got there
But do I want to know?
I know she rejected his dating offer
She explained I existed and that she wasn't ready and was still hopeful on me

------

Tl;dr

How do you guys stay so relaxed when it comes to distance?
Isn't it scary to think that someone could just whisk your partner away?
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CleverSquirrel
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#2
Report 5 years ago
#2
(Original post by Trussblink)
I signed up solely for this site to post this, after reading another one on a similar topic-

Ex and I are LONG distance-
4,000+ miles
I'm England, she's Florida

We met on a social media website, hit it off, and then she was forced off the site due to a huge amount of issues in her life

She came back, because she wanted to get back in touch with me; she got her sister initially to message me to make sure I was still the guy she wanted to talk to

At the time I was with a different girl, and Flordia kept track of the relationship

Her and I broke up and got back together, and Florida didn't like that, but she was kind because she didn't ever interrupt or try and get a foot in the door, as it were-

I left the girl for Florida, after Florida and I connected really, really well-
Even just as friends, Florida and I were able to talk about anything, apart from our feeling for eachother, because yeah. We argued a lot, but the difference between her and any other friend is we made up, no matter the argument

We started a relationship, and 4-5 months down the line, due to my own personal reasons, her and I grew apart

She'd tell her friends problems and have them sort her out as opposed to me-
I started to lose touch with her, and admittedly felt a bit redundant; if I wasn't the one to support her, or offer her something no other guy could, then what good was I?

We had a messy few months, then broke up; she broke down, started a few bad habits, and I flipped at her whe I heard she was doing unhealthy things

We spoke it out after literally telling eachother we hated eachother and we thought we were both disappointments

We're talking again-
We agreed to give eachother space to each become the better people we were, before trying a relationship again

Then I woke up to a message today from her; she was crying- she was apologising for everything she said. She apologised for acting and doing what she did. She told me she wanted her best friend back, who is/was me, and I feel exactly the same

Her elder sister hates me, and is trying to convice Flordia to leave me for good
Florida a few nights ago apparently had an awkwad moment with her friend last night, where she had accidentally led him to believe she liked him-

Apparently "something almost happened"
Nothing sex related; I imagine it was just a kiss, or almost a kiss

------

The whole situation is my fault, but I've been so untrusting of her for a while; I have had some saving graces of trust, but I still feel uneasy

Almost a year since we started dating, online of course, and she admits she's not been herself in the last few months because of a plethora of things-

She's my everything; that's soppy, but everyone has someone they're just completely invested in

I wouldn't even care if she'd kissed the guy

I know the pain and need for comfort after a hard relationship, but it just hurts to know she was that close to kissing someone else, even on break
It wasn't even break; we hadn't even spoke about getting back together

I want to ask how it nearly got there
But do I want to know?
I know she rejected his dating offer
She explained I existed and that she wasn't ready and was still hopeful on me

------

Tl;dr

How do you guys stay so relaxed when it comes to distance?
Isn't it scary to think that someone could just whisk your partner away?
long distance relationships are hard!

you've to be honest with yourself and her here. With you guys being on and off again and arguing from time to time, ask yourself, is it really worth being hurt, for someone? is it an online relationship?

I know it might sound be a bit mean but i've been through a similar situation and i figured out that it's best to have something with some one who you're actaully going to meet and see every now and then.

With being in LDR, you never know who she meets or even talks to, there's always that uncertainly whether you like it or not!
Let's say she did kiss that guy, there's nothing you can do about it, is there?

What i'm trying to say is that being in an LDR that's an online thing is really risky and it really does put your emotions to a test!!!

this may or may not have helped, but i hope it did
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