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Boyfriend calls himself "the boss", "the leader". Thoughts? watch


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend refers to himself as "the boss" and "the leader" as if these things are his actual name lol. His siblings call his boss and leader but I thought that was because he was the oldest or something. Like when we're sometimes talking and I interrupt by accident, he'd say to me something along the lines 'Shhh the boss and leader is talking' then when my friends came over he was like the boss this and that when referring to himself etc etc.
    My friends thought it was weird so they pulled me over to the side and told me he's weird however I'm just used to it I guess. He's always referred to himself as ths but I have never once reffered to him as "the boss" or "leader" because he isn't God, my boss, my leader or anything we're he is leading me as a superior figure in some superior position.
    I guess he has an ego...I dunno. But how would you react if he said this to you when referring to himself in a conversation?
    Two words babe: lubricated dildo
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    (Original post by Sazzy890)
    From what you have written I am a little worried. You might see this as jokes but this is often how abuse starts. At the time you just shrug it off as a joke but then it just gets worse and worse.

    Very extreme example, but on a BBC docudrama called Murdered by my boyfriend (not in anyway suggesting he might turn out to murder you LOL, but it was about an extreme case of domestic violence that started off as little "jokes", however the majority of abusive relationships do manifest this way). E.g. he would look at her phone and then go "who's Jack? I shouldn't be worried should I? :lol:" And then she'd say don't be daft and he'd laugh and wink or something and then a couple of minutes later "but seriously, who is he?". This then built up to her having to tell him her whereabouts, prove who she is with, justify what she is wearing etc. He begins to control every part of her life. And he genuinely thinks that he is superior to her and has a right to control her. This then escalated to a battering, which then escalated to seriously attacking her, and everytime he'd "be sorry" or say it was her fault for XYZ reason or he'd never do it again but obviously he always did.

    I sincerely hope this is just a silly boy you're dating but what you have said is actually signally a few red flags to a potentially abusive relationship.
    Crazy you mentioned this because I had these exact same thoughts just two days ago after watching the same docudruma in class as we were looking at domestic violence. Yea her boyfriend was like 'Who's Mic?' when in the end it was just her friend named Michaella smh. You're completely right and I'm glad you've stated it because at first I thought do I sound crazy to say I am seeing signs of a possibly abusive/ controlling relationship in my own? Because he hadn't hit me or anything I just shrugged it off. Now thought I'm beginning to realise that if things become more aggressive I need to leave.
    I didn't want to say this but before we dated, he kind of forced himself on me then later apologised after he realised I wasn't happy with the situation and that I did not enjoy it. I've totally forgiven him now but I'm sure this is sexual assault. What's crazy is that he is a really nice guy but in the past, he has made few mistakes.

    A while ago, when we were walking down the road at night he began touching me inappropriately and kissing me even though I told him not to. At first when he tried kissing me, I said no but after a while I just gave up and tried kissing back though I was angry with the situation. For most of the time it happened, I did pull my face away and didn't kiss him back as he was kissing me because I didn't want it. It seemed like he couldn't read my body language which freaked me out a bit since if I kissed someone and they are not kissing back or showing signs that they are enjoying it- I would stop completely however he did not. I tasted alcohol in his mouth so knew he had been drinking. I got scared that he may rape me or something but he told me his intentions weren't to have sex with me but just feel me as he we hadn't seen each other in some time. Normally he wouldn't act that way so thought him missing me and the alcohol made him overly expressive or something. My friends are still angry with him but I forgave him because it seemed that he really didn't know that I did not want to kiss him or have him touch me in that manner. I don't know any more.
    He has changed though. I mean in a positive way. Now before he kisses me he would ask- since that day he hasn't kissed me without asking for my consent. Emotionally we connect so well also.
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