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I just find it so impossible to trust her? Watch

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    I've been with my girlfriend for 5/6 months now. Ever since the start I just haven't been able to trust her at all. I don't lie of its because of her past with boys because she slept with a lot of boys and used to talk to loads. I don't know if it's because I've been cheated on twice in the past. I don't know if it's because I'm insecure.

    It's so annoying because I'm always trying to control/stop her from having the chnace to even cheat. I'm always checking up on her, seeing if she's online on Facebook and if she's not texting me back I'll start thinking stuff. I sometimes question if she even wants to be with me and all that. I'm always asking if she will cheat on me and stay loyal.

    It's not right in her at all. Because all I know she could be really loyal and not cheat at all but I'm never giving her the chance. I just find it so hard to believe that this girl can actually be loyal. And I know your going to say we'll just leave her but that's so hard because I'm actually so in love with her, I do think she's aceand I've actually never caught her doing anything wrong. There's times before she's spoke to boys in snapchat but it's very rare and if it is there only tiny conversations. She never hides her phone from me, she barely lies to me and if she does it's only because she knows I'll get mad and start arguing with her about something because I'm jealous.

    I just don't know what to do, it's driving me mad
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    A relationship based on this extreme paranoia is hardly going to last, is it? Either you begin to trust her or it seems the relationship will disintegrate.
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    You need to sit down and decide whether or not you're in the right mindframe to be in a relationship atm.
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    Is she aware how you really feel?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my girlfriend for 5/6 months now. Ever since the start I just haven't been able to trust her at all. I don't lie of its because of her past with boys because she slept with a lot of boys and used to talk to loads. I don't know if it's because I've been cheated on twice in the past. I don't know if it's because I'm insecure.

    It's so annoying because I'm always trying to control/stop her from having the chnace to even cheat. I'm always checking up on her, seeing if she's online on Facebook and if she's not texting me back I'll start thinking stuff. I sometimes question if she even wants to be with me and all that. I'm always asking if she will cheat on me and stay loyal.

    It's not right in her at all. Because all I know she could be really loyal and not cheat at all but I'm never giving her the chance. I just find it so hard to believe that this girl can actually be loyal. And I know your going to say we'll just leave her but that's so hard because I'm actually so in love with her, I do think she's aceand I've actually never caught her doing anything wrong. There's times before she's spoke to boys in snapchat but it's very rare and if it is there only tiny conversations. She never hides her phone from me, she barely lies to me and if she does it's only because she knows I'll get mad and start arguing with her about something because I'm jealous.

    I just don't know what to do, it's driving me mad

    Dude, you dun goofed. Why are you even dating a sloot in the first place?

    Try and find yourself a gf who hasnt ridden the **** carousel
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    (Original post by Death Grips)
    Dude, you dun goofed. Why are you even dating a sloot in the first place?

    Try and find yourself a gf who hasnt ridden the **** carousel
    couldn't agree more.
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    You claim to be in love with her but you dont trust her. You sound quite possessive, which has unpleasant materialisation in later relationships. The problem is yours.

    You need to trust her and not worry. if soemthing happens in the future, so be it, but without any rational basis for her infidelity you are stressing yourself for nothing.
    Go and get help with your paranoia and jealousy.
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    In my opinion, trust or leave.
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    Is it just me who intuitively distrusts certain people? I know the OP seems extreme but sometimes people do give of these vibes (and i'm usually right about this). You should try not to bother so much, but let's be honest, if she's the type of girl who cheats she will do so anyway.
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    Relationships are based on three important pillars.

    Love, Trust and Communication. Take one away and the relationship cannot (shouldn't) exist.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Is it just me who intuitively distrusts certain people? I know the OP seems extreme but sometimes people do give of these vibes (and i'm usually right about this). You should try not to bother so much, but let's be honest, if she's the type of girl who cheats she will do so anyway.
    I get that. But if I didn't trust someone, I wouldn't get into a relationship with them.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    I get that. But if I didn't trust someone, I wouldn't get into a relationship with them.
    Sometimes it happens during though, everything is fine and then something seems intuitively off, sure you have no proof but it just feels wrong. Obviously you should break it off at this point but it's a bit hard to when it just seems like paranoia.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Sometimes it happens during though, everything is fine and then something seems intuitively off, sure you have no proof but it just feels wrong. Obviously you should break it off at this point but it's a bit hard to when it just seems like paranoia.
    I agree with this assessment entirely. I too feel like this. I'm very much a paranoid person, and While it may seem like my problem, if a feeling simply seems to hang above you like a grey cloud, you just know something is up. It's a gut feeling, an instinctual feeling.

    Whether or not my partner is cheating who knows. I've been with her for a while, and although I have self esteem/emotional and anxiety issues etc etc., I still wish to be with her. I think the major factor for us is the long distance.

    Back to the point, a person cannot always be a good judge of character, and usually the relationship is fine for a particular time, and then there is usually a shift in behaviour or dynamic. Then you begin to decscend into paranoia. This is the situation OP is in. It isn't as clear cut as not getting into a relationship with untrustworthy people in first place.
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    (Original post by royal1990)
    I agree with this assessment entirely. I too feel like this. I'm very much a paranoid person, and While it may seem like my problem, if a feeling simply seems to hang above you like a grey cloud, you just know something is up. It's a gut feeling, an instinctual feeling.

    Whether or not my partner is cheating who knows. I've been with her for a while, and although I have self esteem/emotional and anxiety issues etc etc., I still wish to be with her. I think the major factor for us is the long distance.

    Back to the point, a person cannot always be a good judge of character, and usually the relationship is fine for a particular time, and then there is usually a shift in behaviour or dynamic. Then you begin to decscend into paranoia. This is the situation OP is in. It isn't as clear cut as not getting into a relationship with untrustworthy people in first place.
    Also you don't know how people fight before they begin, or how they behave in their most private areas, simply dating doesn't factor into these things since fighting is at a minimum and some degree of intimacy is closed off.
 
 
 
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