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    Hi,

    I'm really annoyed and want to vent. Basically, I moved to London a couple of months ago and there are some relatives + family friends here too but I just want to be left alone/ I came here for work and education purposes and to get away from all the crap/start again. I wish I was somewhere I didn't know anyone but this is the only place the job+course run together.

    Anyway, my Dad went behind my back and gave my address and phone number to his family friend (who he classes as his cousin and I should class as my uncle as we're Indian and that's how things work).So last weekend, I received some missed calls+voicemail and a text explaining who he was (I've met him a few times at weddings and he's nice, I know his wife and daughters too), and stating his wife wants to meet me (I know who she is and have spoken to her, the family is nice), inviting me over to their house the next day. I replied I was busy with study and had an early start the next day (All true, I had to be up at 5:30am the next day). So he replied saying we'd organise it for another time.

    Sooo a few minutes ago I received a text from this Uncle TELLING, not asking me, that I'd be going to their house tomorrow, he's picking me up at 4:30pm and drop me off too. Now I am soooooooo annoyed, I just feel so angry. I feel annoyed thinking about it, I was gritting my teeth earlier. I think I just don't want to know people since my Mum died and want to stand on my own feet and do my own thing at 26 years old.

    Also, at a wedding or big gathering, my Dad was speaking to people before I moved to London, and one "Aunty" suggested I could live with them. Then my Dad stood there smiling about it. Also, before I moved, he kept suggesting people I could live with and said he couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to live with them. Like, F*** Off!!! I barely know these people and feel like my life is trying to be controlled. I don't give a flying F*** if he said all this cos he "cares". My Mum did all the caring while ill and it's too late for him to start caring now. I'm 26 FFS.

    Sorry for the moaning. Hope it all makes sense. Am I wrong? How would you feel? x
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    I would hate to be coddled at 26 tbh. Fair enough if I was 19/20 but not at 26. Maybe try explaining this to him? I assume you're financially stable?
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    I wouldn't be happy either. I moved to London to study for year and met up with a relative a few times. But it was agreed. It was never "oh, you're being picked up tomorrow". We both agreed to meet up and do stuff.
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    Pretend you didn't get the text or tell them you're busy or tell them you don't want to go to their house.
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    (Original post by Samistrawberry)
    I would hate to be coddled at 26 tbh. Fair enough if I was 19/20 but not at 26. Maybe try explaining this to him? I assume you're financially stable?
    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    I wouldn't be happy either. I moved to London to study for year and met up with a relative a few times. But it was agreed. It was never "oh, you're being picked up tomorrow". We both agreed to meet up and do stuff.
    (Original post by morgan8002)
    Pretend you didn't get the text or tell them you're busy or tell them you don't want to go to their house.
    Thanks for the replies. I do have some money I've saved, although my Dad has insisted on helping me. Basically, I am doing a course+job which are both tied in together for a year. Whether I stay in London after that, in my eyes, will depend on if I can get a job appropriate enough to support myself. Otherwise, I'll move to wherever else a job comes up in the appropriate sector. (As living anywhere else in the country is more affordable.) Would have moved elsewhere but like I said, London is the only place this course+job are) Anyway, I'll go anywhere as long it's not back "Home".

    I did have a go at him when I realised what he's done and asked why he was interfering but it seemed to go over his head.

    I've replied and am going tomorrow. Still really fudging annoyed but what can I do, guess I may aswell get it out of the way otherwise it'll drag on. Ohhh yeah my Dad wrote a list of people's addresse and phone numbers not only this time, but I'm pretty sure he did when I moved for my Undergraduate degree.
    I wish I was in another country, but I'd still get hassled there. I'm so much happier here than I was back "Home" in Cambridgeshire. Now it's like my problems have followed me. I think I just feel like I'm alone since my Mum died and now I'm fiercely stubborn. I feel like a bird being caged.

    Oh and another thing, whenever the topic of marriage come up I say I don't want to get married, he says things like "When" you get married, and he says things like he wants me and my Brother to settle down and get married. Sorry, WHAT? Am I not allowed to do what I like with my life???
    He also finds it amusing *Stood there with a smirk on his face when he spoke about it) that I put on a lot of weight "At uni" or as I like to see it, after my Mother died (She went during summer holidays before final year but I went back and completed the degree). Like, Helloooooooooooooooo you don't need to be clever to realise people put on a lot of weight when they're very sad due to bad habits/loss of control etc. OMG!!!

    Anyway, thanks for reading guys x
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    I would go tomorrow, be polite, but dont get sucked into repeats. Stress a bit how busy you are and it was nice to meet him this once.

    Get another sim and use that for your real calls.

    hard to get away from your parents becayse it seems cultural.
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    I went and it was okay because the family seem nice, but it was never about that. I honestly have to shout to be heard and even then I'm not listened to. I don't speak to my Dad much so that makes it a bit easier I guess. Thanks for the advice x
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    You need to stick up for yourself more. As you live alone it is easier as if you don't want to see someone then you just say so - if they then turned up at my door I'd just ignore it. They can't force their way in. Let your dad carry on with thinking what he wants but it is your life and you can do as you please, you are an adult now. Tell him to respect your privacy and not give out your address under any circumstances.
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    Thanks for the advice. I have spoken up but don't get listened to. Maybe it's a culture thing. He's the sort of person who probably thinks it's a woman's job to cook and clean (He shows no interest in any of these, even now I'm not in the family home, he doesn't make the effort to cook/clean etc. When at a relative's house, he won't volunteer to help cook, but will ask his sister to ask me to help her later on, which I do anyway (His sister told me this the other day) ) x
 
 
 
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