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Finding a partner this day and age - scared I am doing to end up alone! Watch

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    #1

    I will condense this as much as possible despite the fact I feel like ranting due to my frustration on this topic.

    I am a 22 year old female second year undergraduate psychology student who plans to study on to be a clinical psychologist (hopefully) but everyone at uni are mostly overseas students, are very antisocial or only got into uni through clearing (it's low ranked at the bottom of the league tables, one of the worst in the UK so you can imagine what the people are like) When I try to make plans they never work and nobody puts the effort to talk to me outside of uni unless it's coursework or exam related.

    I even tried going to the student union a few times and didn't click with anyone as most of the guys were 28+ and abit Pervy. Tbh, at this point I have NO life outside of uni and my social life and dating has hit rock bottom.

    I even resorted to setting up an online dating profile to meet new guys and friends and it didn't end up well, the guys were so socially award that they could not hold a conversation, talking to them was like digging for gold or the remaining guys were VERY desperate and pushy so I removed my profile. I also had a bad date from online dating last summer as they guy wanted to just use me for sex.

    I thought if I am struggling to even find a decent guy to even talk to despite the fact I am not socially awkward or bad looking (in fact I get harassed a lot in my area) Imagine if my life is still going to be same when I study on for my masters and PhD and when am in my late 20's and thirties when I should be settling down having kids and getting married.

    I am so worried over this, I think if I am struggling to find a partner now I never will. My last relationship was bad, I met him at college and been single for a year and a half.

    What would you do if you was me? Any help would be need! I even am considering fertility treatment to avoid missing the chance of having children as I don't think I will have them the normal way the way my life is going now
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    Aww you sound fine, can't really force this thing if you want to meet someone naturally you just have to, try to take as many risks as possible and put yourself out there in as many social situations as possible. It's the only thing that can be advised really, I won't give you the 'you'll meet someone' crap because you simply might not, but it should improve your chances.
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    Try your luck on TSR, plenty of young eager bucks on here - most are probably 13 :laugh:
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Aww you sound fine, can't really force this thing if you want to meet someone naturally you just have to, try to take as many risks as possible and put yourself out there in as many social situations as possible. It's the only thing that can be advised really, I won't give you the 'you'll meet someone' crap because you simply might not, but it should improve your chances.
    I don't even have to opportunity to go out unless it's with one of my close friends who I've known since college or when I spend time with family. I pray things improve when I move uni and get a job, I just really don't like what's available out there especially on those dating sites. I rather would not bother at all
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    We are in the same boat
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    You're a young female. Provided you're in good shape and put out, you WILL find a man who will gladly pay for you. Throughout all of history 80% of women managed to reproduce and only 40% of men did.
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    To the OP:

    Why do this anonymously? Put yourself out there.

    In your case, I would be concerned that you are in a university where everyone is either:

    A) An idiot
    B) Old and Pervy
    C) Socially awkward

    Which university is this? We might be able to give more specific advice if we knew what sort of societies you could be part of, what interests you could take part of and how you could meet people.
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    Finding relatonships with anyone is hard. Im a guy and have not found anyone who is even remotely interested in me (im only 18 but its getting me down).
    You will find someone who likes you for who you are. Guys who just want sex are jerks. Guys should love their girl for who they are and want to be around them, not just using them for sex.
    Are you part of any clubs? If so then try to mingle a bit with the other guys there.
    I would defo wait before fertility treatment. You might even meet your guy tomorrow (ya never know).
    You say your good looking and not socially awkward, if so then go out one night and see if anyone catchss your eye.
    I do feel for you, i know what its like to not be wanted by anyone (i dont have any friends, let alone a girlfriend).
    You can PM me if you want to chat. I dont mind either way.
    Hope i helped you.
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    You're not exactly alone in that position. I'm a year younger, socially awkward and I always think I'll be forever alone. I recently asked a boy in a lecture to coffee for him to politely reject me, and it's now the Easter holidays and I panic about graduating and never meeting someone to love. I have like a few weeks when I go back to try and get a date. It sucks.

    Just join a club and see what happens, or go to the library and talk to people.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will condense this as much as possible despite the fact I feel like ranting due to my frustration on this topic.

    I am a 22 year old female second year undergraduate psychology student who plans to study on to be a clinical psychologist (hopefully) but everyone at uni are mostly overseas students, are very antisocial or only got into uni through clearing (it's low ranked at the bottom of the league tables, one of the worst in the UK so you can imagine what the people are like) When I try to make plans they never work and nobody puts the effort to talk to me outside of uni unless it's coursework or exam related.

    I even tried going to the student union a few times and didn't click with anyone as most of the guys were 28+ and abit Pervy. Tbh, at this point I have NO life outside of uni and my social life and dating has hit rock bottom.

    I even resorted to setting up an online dating profile to meet new guys and friends and it didn't end up well, the guys were so socially award that they could not hold a conversation, talking to them was like digging for gold or the remaining guys were VERY desperate and pushy so I removed my profile. I also had a bad date from online dating last summer as they guy wanted to just use me for sex.

    I thought if I am struggling to even find a decent guy to even talk to despite the fact I am not socially awkward or bad looking (in fact I get harassed a lot in my area) Imagine if my life is still going to be same when I study on for my masters and PhD and when am in my late 20's and thirties when I should be settling down having kids and getting married.

    I am so worried over this, I think if I am struggling to find a partner now I never will. My last relationship was bad, I met him at college and been single for a year and a half.

    What would you do if you was me? Any help would be need! I even am considering fertility treatment to avoid missing the chance of having children as I don't think I will have them the normal way the way my life is going now
    Not to be mean to OP but i hate people who think that by a "certain age" they should be married and have kids. Why does society tell us this? It annoys me too much since i want to do what i want, i don't care what others think i don't want to confom to what you expect me to be, i'll live my life how i want etc.

    IMO i don't want kids or marriage or a partner s/o etc so tbh i don't really care much about this stuff which means i have more time to spend on other things. Also if you really want the experience of having children then you could go to a sperm bank and let them inject you with sperm? or is that not how it works?
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    I'm very interested in what uni you go to:ninja:

    I really feel for you and I am sure there are quite a few people in this boat, albeit a quiet minority. I think the best thing to do is to throw yourself into as many social things as possible, and have a plan in place for if the worst comes to the worst. I don't imagine anyone will ever love me, despite me being youngish and (hopefully) not a total minger. So I'm following out my old spinster life plan and I actually think it will be good, if it all works out. I don' need no man:cry2: I don' need no love.:cry2:

    Basically forget about finding someone and just put yourself out there and look as pretty as poss
    • #1
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    #1

    I posted annonously because my story is so damn pathetic and sad 😂 I am interested in the psychological society but it consists of people in my lectures anyway and guess what? I tried going to student union events, met a small bunch of guys and I kept in contact with one (who is much older, thought that was a good thing as older people can hold good conversations) we spoke recently regarding this as friends and guess what he used it as an opportunity to chat me which is not nice, it's darn creepy since he is a decade older.

    I go to *drum roll* London South bank university (look it up on the league tables) I know you're gonna say then why the hell did you go there?! I didn't have a choice, my college failed me and lost my work and exam board results and I just had the grades to scrape into university.

    Don't get me wrong I cannot fault the lecturers and staff in the psychology department and there are some lovely people (the mums that are studying and help others on my course) but other than that I cannot stress how important choosing a university that not only is good academically but has a good set of people and social opportunities is also important, as look what happened to me I'm severely depressed right now.

    I'm moving house and moving away from South London and my plan is to get good grades to get out of here into a better uni for my masters and PhD. In the mean time I decided to volunteer for Mind again and apply for jobs.

    If anyone else feels the same please do not hesitate to post because I honestly thought I was the only uni student who felt like this! And yes I've looked into sperm banks (as a last resort) and th option is there if worst comes to the worst and the whole world is like London South bank.
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    *** chat me up, sorry for the typos
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I posted annonously because my story is so damn pathetic and sad 😂 I am interested in the psychological society but it consists of people in my lectures anyway and guess what? I tried going to student union events, met a small bunch of guys and I kept in contact with one (who is much older, thought that was a good thing as older people can hold good conversations) we spoke recently regarding this as friends and guess what he used it as an opportunity to chat me which is not nice, it's darn creepy since he is a decade older.

    I go to *drum roll* London South bank university (look it up on the league tables) I know you're gonna say then why the hell did you go there?! I didn't have a choice, my college failed me and lost my work and exam board results and I just had the grades to scrape into university.

    Don't get me wrong I cannot fault the lecturers and staff in the psychology department and there are some lovely people (the mums that are studying and help others on my course) but other than that I cannot stress how important choosing a university that not only is good academically but has a good set of people and social opportunities is also important, as look what happened to me I'm severely depressed right now.

    I'm moving house and moving away from South London and my plan is to get good grades to get out of here into a better uni for my masters and PhD. In the mean time I decided to volunteer for Mind again and apply for jobs.

    If anyone else feels the same please do not hesitate to post because I honestly thought I was the only uni student who felt like this! And yes I've looked into sperm banks (as a last resort) and th option is there if worst comes to the worst and the whole world is like London South bank.
    Youre story is not pathetic. Lots of people feel like you do.
    That guy does sound a little creepy. He is a decade older and should probably not try to pursue a young lady who is a lot younger than he is.

    Im sorry to hear about what happened at college, it really sucks that they lost your work. Thats really bad of them, you put in a lot of effort for nothing. Its good that you at least got into Uni.

    Its good that the people are good but as you said you need a good academic uni.
    Im sorry to hear about your depression. Its tough but you will get through it.

    I hope you get into the Uni you want to. You deserve to get into the best one.

    Im not at uni (im at college currently, its been really hard). Ive been feeling really down when ive been there (i was being bullied because im really quiet).
    Hope things get better for you soon
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    Well you're still young so no pointing pondering too much about it! You've got a long life ahead of you.I don't want to be nasty, but seems like you're on a bit of the teenage dream.. Successful career, perfect partner, perfect children with a mortgaged or fully owned house.

    If I were you, focus on getting your degree, breaking up with someone mid degree is nasty. Since you're clearly in what you think is a bad area and think lowly of the university or should I say the students. I'd probably move towards a better area, study your MSc/PhD there, then test your luck more in the other area.. Or try exploring the world a little more.. Visit Norway or something!
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    I know it looks like I judge people but if you read reviews on my uni you'd understand more. LSBU are notorious for letting anyone in because these people have nowhere else to go and the reviews made me feel better as other students felt the same and said how the students union was full of "rudeboys"

    People think London is the most social place (it is if you go to the right place and know what you are doing) and uni is the best time of your life. WRONG.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it looks like I judge people but if you read reviews on my uni you'd understand more. LSBU are notorious for letting anyone in because these people have nowhere else to go and the reviews made me feel better as other students felt the same and said how the students union was full of "rudeboys"

    People think London is the most social place (it is if you go to the right place and know what you are doing) and uni is the best time of your life. WRONG.
    Well each to their own. I'd suggest travelling the world more.. Visit places!! You're limit yourself far too much!!

    Part highlighted in bold: It's what you make of it. There's a balance between study life and social life that needs to be maintained to enjoy it. Otherwise it's just no different from school or college.. Independence aside! If you dislike a most of the students then you're limiting yourself considerably in terms of social. But if you've tried nobody can knock it..

    My question is.. Why're you at a 'university that lets anyone in' - You've probably mentioned this somewhere but I'm not digging!
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    (Original post by FireFreezer77)
    Youre story is not pathetic. Lots of people feel like you do.
    That guy does sound a little creepy. He is a decade older and should probably not try to pursue a young lady who is a lot younger than he is.

    Im sorry to hear about what happened at college, it really sucks that they lost your work. Thats really bad of them, you put in a lot of effort for nothing. Its good that you at least got into Uni.

    Its good that the people are good but as you said you need a good academic uni.
    Im sorry to hear about your depression. Its tough but you will get through it.

    I hope you get into the Uni you want to. You deserve to get into the best one.

    Im not at uni (im at college currently, its been really hard). Ive been feeling really down when ive been there (i was being bullied because im really quiet).
    Hope things get better for you soon
    I think he tried it with me as he told me he had issues finding a relationship in that area plus he's been studying there much longer than I have 😅

    If this helps I had no friends at the college I was transferred to (without my permission) where I had to continue my studies, nobody spoke English at the college and I remember I was that close to walking out because everyone was speaking in their own languages and I couldn't even communicate with anyone plus I had really dirty looks given from the girls in the coridoors and was so intimidated that I could not use the toilet when a it was full of girls but I stuck at it and was the only person who passed in my initial class (from my old college which was okay - I met my ex there and had friends there)
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    (Original post by Binary Freak)
    Well each to their own. I'd suggest travelling the world more.. Visit places!! You're limit yourself far too much!!

    Part highlighted in bold: It's what you make of it. There's a balance between study life and social life that needs to be maintained to enjoy it. Otherwise it's just no different from school or college.. Independence aside! If you dislike a most of the students then you're limiting yourself considerably in terms of social. But if you've tried nobody can knock it..

    My question is.. Why're you at a 'university that lets anyone in' - You've probably mentioned this somewhere but I'm not digging!
    I did not have a choice. My college failed me to the point where I could only scrape in to this university. I tried the union events and I don't even have anybody to go out with as every time I suggest something they don't even respond to me or nothing. You know what, I'm not there to make friends anymore I'm just focusing on getting a job and doing something out of uni times and getting the hell out.
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    Yeah it seems pretty hard, you either pull and meet someone in a club or no one at all it seems like
 
 
 
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