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Finding a partner this day and age - scared I am doing to end up alone! watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did not have a choice. My college failed me to the point where I could only scrape in to this university. I tried the union events and I don't even have anybody to go out with as every time I suggest something they don't even respond to me or nothing. You know what, I'm not there to make friends anymore I'm just focusing on getting a job and doing something out of uni times and getting the hell out.
    Mmm k! I've always told myself that unions are completely useless, same as the events. But I'm not exactly the type to do a questionnaire over some fosters!

    Take the advice in bold. When you've graduated, go and live a little, take it upon yourself to go out there and meet your potential partner!
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    This is why it is important to do your research kids!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will condense this as much as possible despite the fact I feel like ranting due to my frustration on this topic.

    I am a 22 year old female second year undergraduate psychology student who plans to study on to be a clinical psychologist (hopefully) but everyone at uni are mostly overseas students, are very antisocial or only got into uni through clearing (it's low ranked at the bottom of the league tables, one of the worst in the UK so you can imagine what the people are like) When I try to make plans they never work and nobody puts the effort to talk to me outside of uni unless it's coursework or exam related.

    I even tried going to the student union a few times and didn't click with anyone as most of the guys were 28+ and abit Pervy. Tbh, at this point I have NO life outside of uni and my social life and dating has hit rock bottom.

    I even resorted to setting up an online dating profile to meet new guys and friends and it didn't end up well, the guys were so socially award that they could not hold a conversation, talking to them was like digging for gold or the remaining guys were VERY desperate and pushy so I removed my profile. I also had a bad date from online dating last summer as they guy wanted to just use me for sex.

    I thought if I am struggling to even find a decent guy to even talk to despite the fact I am not socially awkward or bad looking (in fact I get harassed a lot in my area) Imagine if my life is still going to be same when I study on for my masters and PhD and when am in my late 20's and thirties when I should be settling down having kids and getting married.

    I am so worried over this, I think if I am struggling to find a partner now I never will. My last relationship was bad, I met him at college and been single for a year and a half.

    What would you do if you was me? Any help would be need! I even am considering fertility treatment to avoid missing the chance of having children as I don't think I will have them the normal way the way my life is going now

    Have seen so many similar threads.

    Everybody is scared to admit it but...

    1. Finding a compatible partner is hard.
    2. Making friends in your 20s can be hard.
    3. Uni is often not a social and romantic gold mine.
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    There's someone for everyone so you mustn't worry :no: You just need to put yourself out there and you'll meet the right person :yes:

    All the best!
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    (Original post by Binary Freak)
    Mmm k! I've always told myself that unions are completely useless, same as the events. But I'm not exactly the type to do a questionnaire over some fosters!

    Take the advice in bold. When you've graduated, go and live a little, take it upon yourself to go out there and meet your potential partner!
    Thanks, that's my plan and yeah the union events are ****, I thought it was a way to meet new people. All there was, was those weird older guys and a few 19 year olds who are obsessed with weed and booze who got thrown out of good unis (one was from Brunel) and ended up at the bottom of the barrel at this uni getting hammered at a dead SU event 😂

    Thanks for the advice I'm gonna be doing heavy research for where I'm gonna go for my masters too, as well as planning my life outside of uni. I just don't fit in here and I know there are more like minded people who do actually want a life and want to go out 😅
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think he tried it with me as he told me he had issues finding a relationship in that area plus he's been studying there much longer than I have 😅

    If this helps I had no friends at the college I was transferred to (without my permission) where I had to continue my studies, nobody spoke English at the college and I remember I was that close to walking out because everyone was speaking in their own languages and I couldn't even communicate with anyone plus I had really dirty looks given from the girls in the coridoors and was so intimidated that I could not use the toilet when a it was full of girls but I stuck at it and was the only person who passed in my initial class (from my old college which was okay - I met my ex there and had friends there)
    Finding relationships is not easy. I guess that makes sense. Maybe he thought he had a chance with you.

    Surely they need your permission to move you. It's your life and you should choose what you want to do. It sucks that no one spoke English there also (sounds like my high school). I do feel bad for you. It really sucks that your college has failed you.
    People at my college pretended to be friends with me for a year and a half and then decided to start running away from me, instead of telling me they didn't want me around. It hurt a lot and then they made fun of me for being quiet which really dented my non existant confidence.
    It's good you stuck it out and passed.
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    Have seen so many similar threads.

    Everybody is scared to admit it but...

    1. Finding a compatible partner is hard.
    2. Making friends in your 20s can be hard.
    3. Uni is often not a social and romantic gold mine.
    Thanks I needed this!
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    Read through the OP and it seems like it's everyone else's problem other than your own. Perhaps the issue isn't with the 'antisocial' people at the union but with yourself? You judge others yet admit you have no life outside university.

    Honestly; having read through that I can see why guys may be put off of you. Your attitude comes across as overly entitled and belittling to your peers.

    No doubt you'll try to argue the point or ignore what I have to say but thats been the impression given from reading this and you can guarantee that other potential partners may have had the same impression.
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    (Original post by FireFreezer77)
    Finding relationships is not easy. I guess that makes sense. Maybe he thought he had a chance with you.

    Surely they need your permission to move you. It's your life and you should choose what you want to do. It sucks that no one spoke English there also (sounds like my high school). I do feel bad for you. It really sucks that your college has failed you.
    People at my college pretended to be friends with me for a year and a half and then decided to start running away from me, instead of telling me they didn't want me around. It hurt a lot and then they made fun of me for being quiet which really dented my non existant confidence.
    It's good you stuck it out and passed.
    What I found was a lot of people started befriending me as soon as I started to get good grades, I find there are a lot of users at college, not so much at uni due to plagiarism rules, so people won't try and steal or copy your work. This is maybe why your friends are on and off with you, if this isn't the case being quiet is no excuse to treat someone like that, they aren't real friends if this is the case.

    I was just having a normal conversation like what I was discussing on here then *bam* he starts dropping hints like "I wanna have kids too, I love how your serious" then he asked me out on a date I just got pissed because he used my situation to his advantage when I am genuinely depressed.
    I am just done with people, thank god I'm moving.
    Btw if I can put up with my college for a year and this uni for two years you can do this.
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    (Original post by ThatOldGuy)
    ...
    A bit Harsh!?
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    I'm sorry I come across that way, but I had really bad experiences with these people and I had people pretending to be friend to take advantage of me at this place, I even had a student who was in her sixties get attacked outside the library by another student. And I don't consider men who are in their thirties who prey on younger students or people who aren't serious about their studies as potential partners
    (Original post by Reue)
    Read through the OP and it seems like it's everyone else's problem other than your own. Perhaps the issue isn't with the 'antisocial' people at the union but with yourself? You judge others yet admit you have no life outside university.

    Honestly; having read through that I can see why guys may be put off of you. Your attitude comes across as overly entitled and belittling to your peers.

    No doubt you'll try to argue the point or ignore what I have to say but thats been the impression given from reading this and you can guarantee that other potential partners may have had the same impression.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks I needed this!

    :hugs:

    I think many people would feel better if everybody was more honest.

    The 20s are much lonelier and difficult than people admit.

    Life in general is almost always a bit of a disappointment.

    Finding the right guy will be hard. It will only get harder as the eligible ones are snapped up and you are left with the ones who only brush their teeth once a week.

    The only comfort is that everybody is in the same boat. Stumbling through life.
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    (Original post by Reue)
    Read through the OP and it seems like it's everyone else's problem other than your own. Perhaps the issue isn't with the 'antisocial' people at the union but with yourself? You judge others yet admit you have no life outside university.

    Honestly; having read through that I can see why guys may be put off of you. Your attitude comes across as overly entitled and belittling to your peers.

    No doubt you'll try to argue the point or ignore what I have to say but thats been the impression given from reading this and you can guarantee that other potential partners may have had the same impression.

    C'mon. There are some complete f*ckwits out there.

    She doesn't want a guy who thinks lighting his own farts is a great joke.

    Hardly makes her a snob. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What I found was a lot of people started befriending me as soon as I started to get good grades, I find there are a lot of users at college, not so much at uni due to plagiarism rules, so people won't try and steal or copy your work. This is maybe why your friends are on and off with you, if this isn't the case being quiet is no excuse to treat someone like that, they aren't real friends if this is the case.

    I was just having a normal conversation like what I was discussing on here then *bam* he starts dropping hints like "I wanna have kids too, I love how your serious" then he asked me out on a date I just got pissed because he used my situation to his advantage when I am genuinely depressed.
    I am just done with people, thank god I'm moving.
    Btw if I can put up with my college for a year and this uni for two years you can do this.
    People keep asking me to help them with their work (I tell them to get someone who cares to do it). I'm getting good grades and they're not. You're not wrong, there are loads of users at college. I wish we had stricter plagiarism rules.
    I don't hang out with them anymore, I spend time on my own now and am beginning to get a bit lonely. I can't help being quiet, it's just who I am and it hurts big time when they take the piss out of me.

    Wow he got the wrong idea there. That's way too soon to be talking about kids. Taking advantage of you like that shows how much of a jerk he is. I would never do that (my mental health isn't in great condition either (anxiety)).
    Hopefully things will get better when you move. I sure hope you meet some great people and get the best grades possible.
    I guess so. You've done really well to stick it out. I applaud you for that. I could not have done that. My situation isn't as bad as yours is.
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    My whole point of this post is to hopefully show other students what uni life is really like as there is so much pressure and expectations on uni life, before I started me and my friend was so excited over uni starting and had all of these expectations only to be disappointed.

    I don't care if this story sounds sad or pathetic or if I'm not swimming in friends at my current point in my life. And FYI I did not bring it on myself, I am not a rude or stuck up person, I am from South London and started from nothing and Have zero tolerance to *****y educational institutes as I dealt with them for three years in total now hence my frustration in my post. am also willing to be friends with all kinds of people.

    But what I am not willing to do is beg friends with people who do not put the effort back in (oh and these people who are apparently put off by my attitude have "no lives" out of uni neither, they just chose to isolate themselves) and lower my standards (I am not initially fussy in the first place) to see men who are 1) a decade older than me or 2) are "rudeboys" who only scraped into uni though clearing who loiter about and not care about their studies.

    Okay rant over. End of topic. I am willing to help others going through this or similar and am so thankful for the responses. I thought I'd correct some things there if I am coming across as rude or snobbish
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    I'm guessing OP has never heard of Tinder.
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    Go gym, get swole, aquire women.
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    You were born alone, be independent, lol.
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    (Original post by Lemon Haze)
    I'm guessing OP has never heard of Tinder.
    Tinder is HORRIBLE. Period. I'd rather die alone that use that actually 😅
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    the guy that chatted you up would still only be 32 so what's the problem
 
 
 
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