Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Why no matches on Tinder? (with picture) Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Right, so I know threads like this can be annoying, but I have always been a very shy, unconfident guy. A few mates at work have been telling me for months to get on Tinder, and a few weeks back I decided to. Problem is is that I am getting nowhere.

    I have liked probably over 800 girls, with only 2 matches. One of them I was talking to for a bit and then she just didn't reply to me, and the other one unmatched me shortly after matching with me. And thats literally it. And it's not like I am only going for the really good looking girls. I must be liking around 90-95% of them.

    I have always known that I am not good looking, and didn't expect tons of matches. But in the past year I have lost nearly 5 stone in weight and had started to gain some confidence and thought that I looked better, but obviously not.

    And the other problem is that it is not just on Tinder. When I go out on a night out with mates/workmates I am always the one not talking to a lass. I am the one that never 'pulls'. In fact one time I went back to my mates flat after a night out and I was sleeping alone on his sofa while he was banging a lass that he'd pulled up stairs in his bed. And he isn't exactly a great looking guy.

    I think this is the most annoying thing of all. The fact that I have plenty of mates who are not good looking at all, yet they still get matches on Tinder, and they still pull on nights out. One average looking mate got his phone out, went on Tinder, and matched with 3 of the first 5 lasses he liked. And then theres this proper obese guy at my work (looks like ****ing Mark Labbett from The Chase) and he went on Tinder and within his first 4 likes he matched with this really nice looking girl. He got as much in 4 likes than I have in about 800.

    I have always been very shy and unconfident so I always put my failures on nights out down to that. But now that I've failed on Tinder as well it shows that it must be about my looks instead.

    And before people moan about Tinder being bad for average joes like me, if that's true then why are mates/workmates of mine getting matches so easy when they are average too. I must be below average. Very below average.

    And sorry if this comes across as a 'feel sorry for me' thread, but it isn't. I am trying to get geniuine answers and would like to know if anybody else is having similar problems.
    Attached Images
       
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    If this is a true thread, I wouldn't say it was because you were below average at all, it's probably because you're coming across unfriendly. Not smiling in a posed photo just makes you look unapproachable. What have you got in your bio?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    If this is a true thread, I wouldn't say it was because you were below average at all, it's probably because you're coming across unfriendly. Not smiling in a posed photo just makes you look unapproachable. What have you got in your bio?
    I wish it wasn't a real thread haha.

    I struggle to have the confidence to smile in photos plus I look stupid. My mates have pictures of themselves without smiling though and they get likes.

    Also I don't have anything in my bio because I couldn't think of anything to put. Again though some of my mates don't have a bio either (such as the guy who got 3 matches from 5).
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    Use better photos. Ones out with friends and one smiling. I'd say put something in your bio, doesn't have to be long.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    God your picture is depressing. Smile. Your depressing look makes me want to commit
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by james.proctor)
    God your picture is depressing. Smile. Your depressing look makes me want to commit
    I understand that but like I said I think I look stupid when I smile. Plus my mates (who get matches) have photos where they aren't smiling. And a lot of the girls I like aren't smiling either.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SamL94)
    I understand that but like I said I think I look stupid when I smile. Plus my mates (who get matches) have photos where they aren't smiling. And a lot of the girls I like aren't smiling either.
    This explains why you're getting no matches - you don't come across as an easy going happy-go-lucky guy: "I think I look stupid when I smile".

    I wouldn't want to date someone who was that self conscious/serious/not fun to be around
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by james.proctor)
    This explains why you're getting no matches - you don't come across as an easy going happy-go-lucky guy: "I think I look stupid when I smile".

    I wouldn't want to date someone who was that self conscious/serious/not fun to be around
    The funny thing is that I am extremely easy going and chilled out and fun but I think it just comes as a lack of confidence thing when it comes to taking a photo of me smiling.

    Anyway like I say though my mates have photos similar to mine where they aren't smiling yet they still get plenty of matches. I know I shouldn't keep comparing but I can't help it.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Put something in your bio and if you don't want to smile maybe just raise your eyebrows a bit and try to look happy? I really dunno, haha, I hate smiling in pics too so I try to just not look miserable. There is nothing wrong with your looks though, you aren't below average in any way, it must be your lack of bio/shy nature. I know you say your mate has no bio either but could he just happened to be matched with girls that find his particular looks more appealing for personal reasons.
    Online

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Why not just try a pic where you are smiling? Surely it's better for you to feel like you look stupid and get a date than feel like you don't look stupid and not get a date? If you're that laid back, you should be willing to try it. Plus all your pics have something partially in the way of your face..
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Tinder is a woman's market. It's that simple really. I've only been liked by two people thus far too, and I only got one date. It was with a gay guy. That's fine because I'm bi and there are only like a half-dozen gay people in the whole town, so it does show how much more willing guys are than girls to give things a try. Girls will only go for the most attractive people on Tinder, maybe you'd have better luck on OkCupid.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SamL94)
    I wish it wasn't a real thread haha.

    I struggle to have the confidence to smile in photos plus I look stupid. My mates have pictures of themselves without smiling though and they get likes.

    Also I don't have anything in my bio because I couldn't think of anything to put. Again though some of my mates don't have a bio either (such as the guy who got 3 matches from 5).
    No wonder you're not getting matches. You have a generic photo that says nothing about you AND no bio. You need a photo that suggests you have a personality.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    You're probably the kind of guy who will match with a girl and then complain that she's not sent the first message. But there's literally nothing to say...
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SmallTownGirl)
    No wonder you're not getting matches. You have a generic photo that says nothing about you AND no bio. You need a photo that suggests you have a personality.
    Ok fine. The real reason I don't have a bio is because I know that putting my interests in my bio will just put girls off further.

    Football is my interest, that's basically it. I go to games on a Saturday. I go to the pub all day Sunday and watch the games. I watch the games in midweek. I play Football Manager every night. Hardly an interest that is going to impress girls, unless they are one of the small few that actually like football.

    Apart from that I have nothing interest wise.

    I didn't really make this thread to get tips on how to get more matches (though your suggestions do help). I was more doing it to ask if my looks were a problem. Thankfully so far most people are saying it my pictures and lack of bio that is putting girls off, rather than me being ugly.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SmallTownGirl)
    You're probably the kind of guy who will match with a girl and then complain that she's not sent the first message. But there's literally nothing to say...
    Nope. The 2 girls I have matched with so far I sent the 1st message pretty much straight away. And I was putting exclamation marks and smileys in my messages so I wasn't being boring. Like I say I really am not a miserable/moody/boring guy haha, I just have a lack of confidence which means I struggle to smile.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    - Remove the selfies and replace them with photos of you taken by someone else
    - smile
    - maybe have a group photo to show you are social
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SamL94)
    Ok fine. The real reason I don't have a bio is because I know that putting my interests in my bio will just put girls off further.

    Football is my interest, that's basically it. I go to games on a Saturday. I go to the pub all day Sunday and watch the games. I watch the games in midweek. I play Football Manager every night. Hardly an interest that is going to impress girls, unless they are one of the small few that actually like football.

    Apart from that I have nothing interest wise.

    I didn't really make this thread to get tips on how to get more matches (though your suggestions do help). I was more doing it to ask if my looks were a problem. Thankfully so far most people are saying it my pictures and lack of bio that is putting girls off, rather than me being ugly.
    What would you prefer: no matches or make it obvious that you like football and maybe find someone who wants to go to matches with you etc.


    When I look for someone they don't have to have the same hobbies and interests as me (although sharing some can help) but I want to know they do something with their life.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SamL94)
    Nope. The 2 girls I have matched with so far I sent the 1st message pretty much straight away. And I was putting exclamation marks and smileys in my messages so I wasn't being boring. Like I say I really am not a miserable/moody/boring guy haha, I just have a lack of confidence which means I struggle to smile.
    Yeah, it's kinda what you say rather than the number of emojis you use.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Only 8/10 or higher males do well on Tinder, that's the rules these days mate, the male market is overpopulated and the female one underpopulated, creating the phenomenon called thirst.

    Add to that social media validation, hook ups, etc, and many average guys are finding it really hard.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SamL94)
    Right, so I know threads like this can be annoying, but I have always been a very shy, unconfident guy. A few mates at work have been telling me for months to get on Tinder, and a few weeks back I decided to. Problem is is that I am getting nowhere.

    I have liked probably over 800 girls, with only 2 matches. One of them I was talking to for a bit and then she just didn't reply to me, and the other one unmatched me shortly after matching with me. And thats literally it. And it's not like I am only going for the really good looking girls. I must be liking around 90-95% of them.

    I have always known that I am not good looking, and didn't expect tons of matches. But in the past year I have lost nearly 5 stone in weight and had started to gain some confidence and thought that I looked better, but obviously not.

    And the other problem is that it is not just on Tinder. When I go out on a night out with mates/workmates I am always the one not talking to a lass. I am the one that never 'pulls'. In fact one time I went back to my mates flat after a night out and I was sleeping alone on his sofa while he was banging a lass that he'd pulled up stairs in his bed. And he isn't exactly a great looking guy.

    I think this is the most annoying thing of all. The fact that I have plenty of mates who are not good looking at all, yet they still get matches on Tinder, and they still pull on nights out. One average looking mate got his phone out, went on Tinder, and matched with 3 of the first 5 lasses he liked. And then theres this proper obese guy at my work (looks like ****ing Mark Labbett from The Chase) and he went on Tinder and within his first 4 likes he matched with this really nice looking girl. He got as much in 4 likes than I have in about 800.

    I have always been very shy and unconfident so I always put my failures on nights out down to that. But now that I've failed on Tinder as well it shows that it must be about my looks instead.

    And before people moan about Tinder being bad for average joes like me, if that's true then why are mates/workmates of mine getting matches so easy when they are average too. I must be below average. Very below average.

    And sorry if this comes across as a 'feel sorry for me' thread, but it isn't. I am trying to get geniuine answers and would like to know if anybody else is having similar problems.
    In your first pic you look similar to leonardo Dicaprio with the hair and beard. You need better looking photos maybe one without you holding a phone, get someone to take a photo, use a webcam or get a selfie stick.
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
    Useful resources
    Bizarre things students have spent their loans onThings you should budget for at uni

    Sponsored features:

    Making money from your own website

    Need some cash?

    How to make money running your own website.

    Bianca Miller, runner-up on The Apprentice

    Handle your digital footprint

    What would an employer find out about you on Google? Find out how to take control.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.