Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Feel like I messed up- am I overthinking? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been going out with this guy for 4 months and it's been good. But in the last week I've just been really over-thinking things.

    I told him I loved him for the first time last weekend and he didn't say it back. It wasn't awkward after but I guess he wasn't ready to say it back. Every day this week (Monday to tomorrow) he was either working and then had meetings or activities after work, genuinely every day. Normally we go for drinks on Wednesday, but he had a meeting after work til 10. So when I asked for drinks on Wednesday he obviously said he didn't have time.

    I was out with work people on Thursday and got ridiculously drunk, rang him for a while (don't remember the conversation) and asked him to come and pick me up at 10pm, which he didn't, which I'm glad for since I was a mess. But I still felt stupid about it after and clingy.

    Spoke to him on Friday at work and he was nice and not off with me at all, but that was it. He's away on training from 6 on Friday to Sunday evening, so I'm not expecting a text, and I haven't got one.

    TLDR: BF is ridiculously busy every day this week for actual reasons, but I'm freaking out that I've acted badly and this is after I just told him I loved him. What do I do?
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going out with this guy for 4 months and it's been good. But in the last week I've just been really over-thinking things.

    I told him I loved him for the first time last weekend and he didn't say it back. It wasn't awkward after but I guess he wasn't ready to say it back. Every day this week (Monday to tomorrow) he was either working and then had meetings or activities after work, genuinely every day. Normally we go for drinks on Wednesday, but he had a meeting after work til 10. So when I asked for drinks on Wednesday he obviously said he didn't have time.

    I was out with work people on Thursday and got ridiculously drunk, rang him for a while (don't remember the conversation) and asked him to come and pick me up at 10pm, which he didn't, which I'm glad for since I was a mess. But I still felt stupid about it after and clingy.

    Spoke to him on Friday at work and he was nice and not off with me at all, but that was it. He's away on training from 6 on Friday to Sunday evening, so I'm not expecting a text, and I haven't got one.

    TLDR: BF is ridiculously busy every day this week for actual reasons, but I'm freaking out that I've acted badly and this is after I just told him I loved him. What do I do?
    See out the week, trying to do anything else would probably make things worse.
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    19
    Very Important Poster
    Give it a bit of time and dont suffocate him. he may jusy be busy and the last thing he wants is a neurotic female.

    the I love you depends on him, what does he feel , wll he brush it off, will he feel pressurised etc.

    If thats how you feel thats how you feel, but you dont know what his level of emotional intelligence is or how he handles it. Presumably you are exclusive and refer to each other as bf hf and go out as such?

    Dont worry, go and find soemthing else for yourself to do and enjoy, go out with soem friends. You can exist without him. Sometime in the future talk to him about your relationship but pick your moment.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    There's not a lot you can do. Wait it out and see how things go when he's back from training. You were honest with your feelings regardless of how cringy you may think it was now, you can't take it back so just go with it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by SeanFM)
    .
    (Original post by 999tigger)
    .
    (Original post by Katarvi)
    .
    Thanks for the advice, you're right, there isn't anything I can do other than not think about it at the time.

    Another thing is that I feel like quite often I'm asking to see him, although this is usually Thursday night me asking and him saying that yeah I can stay over Friday night, which I do every week. He once told me he doesn't know why I'm still asking since he just assumes I'm coming round every Friday after work.

    Which makes me wonder if that's not why he's not making an effort of asking me? I stay around Fridays normally then we do something or he invites me out Saturday, but it's more like spontaneous rather than him planning it before.
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    19
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the advice, you're right, there isn't anything I can do other than not think about it at the time.

    Another thing is that I feel like quite often I'm asking to see him, although this is usually Thursday night me asking and him saying that yeah I can stay over Friday night, which I do every week. He once told me he doesn't know why I'm still asking since he just assumes I'm coming round every Friday after work.

    Which makes me wonder if that's not why he's not making an effort of asking me? I stay around Fridays normally then we do something or he invites me out Saturday, but it's more like spontaneous rather than him planning it before.
    I get the feeling its really important to you because its ages since youve had a good relationship (notwithstanding you said you love him).

    You get the fact he is busy sometimes. You get the fact that sometimes men are different in saying I love you an different generally.

    Dont suffocate him and dont become hard work.

    At some stage, then you cna talk about the things that niggle you and he about you, so you dont tread on each others toes. Just pick the right moment and let discussion about your relationship happen naturally when you are both receptive. Dont worry about the rest, you seem to be going fine, but I imagine he doesnt want neurotic.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 19, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.