Rant. College.

I'm on my sub-account, not new :smile:

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I just have.. to have a rant. Today is my final day of college and I think I'm going insane. Half my time I know I'm going to miss this place, so much, and I'm undervaluing all the fun times I had by saying I want to leave. But the other half...

I am sick of some of these people, some more than others. I'm sick of the hypocrites, and the judgmental ones, and just those who bitch because it makes their lives more interesting. I'm sick of being the one that's continually joked about. I'm sick of having to watch someone else all over a person who I love, and the daily realisations about how that's always going to be between them, no matter what. The fact that I'm being unreasonable; and what's more I'm being a complete and utter bitch in feeling that way. Of being a liar. I'm tired of watching every word I say. I can't cope with this place any more; for every nice moment there's 10 that makes me hate these groups. Part of me wishes I could start over again and do things differently, and yet another part of me just wants to cut my losses and run. I'm so tempted just to disappear, and yet, it's not that clear cut; it's months until Uni and even then I'm still going to socialise with everyone when I'm back, in holidays and stuff. I'm just so tired of this heirachy that instantly assumes I will be at the bottom of it. I wish I was one of those people who really doesn't want to leave here, I don't want to feel like these last 2 years were a complete waste of my time. They're not, I mean, I've got some decent grades and met some nice people. But it's just so draining and I don't think I've anything more to give it.

Sorry, I'm just in ... one of those. I don't know why I'm posting or what responses I'm expecting, I just needed to tell someone, or something. We're all meant to be out this evening, and that could be nice. But in the absence of being able to scream, or revert to another coping method I might have, I had to put this somewhere.

Reply 1

. sav .

1

State:Anomie

I'm on my sub-account, not new :smile:

.

I just have.. to have a rant. Today is my final day of college and I think I'm going insane. Half my time I know I'm going to miss this place, so much, and I'm undervaluing all the fun times I had by saying I want to leave. But the other half...

I am sick of some of these people, some more than others. I'm sick of the hypocrites, and the judgmental ones, and just those who bitch because it makes their lives more interesting. I'm sick of being the one that's continually joked about. I'm sick of having to watch someone else all over a person who I love, and the daily realisations about how that's always going to be between them, no matter what. The fact that I'm being unreasonable; and what's more I'm being a complete and utter bitch in feeling that way. Of being a liar. I'm tired of watching every word I say. I can't cope with this place any more; for every nice moment there's 10 that makes me hate these groups. Part of me wishes I could start over again and do things differently, and yet another part of me just wants to cut my losses and run. I'm so tempted just to disappear, and yet, it's not that clear cut; it's months until Uni and even then I'm still going to socialise with everyone when I'm back, in holidays and stuff. I'm just so tired of this heirachy that instantly assumes I will be at the bottom of it. I wish I was one of those people who really doesn't want to leave here, I don't want to feel like these last 2 years were a complete waste of my time. They're not, I mean, I've got some decent grades and met some nice people. But it's just so draining and I don't think I've anything more to give it.

Sorry, I'm just in ... one of those. I don't know why I'm posting or what responses I'm expecting, I just needed to tell someone, or something. We're all meant to be out this evening, and that could be nice. But in the absence of being able to scream, or revert to another coping method I might have, I had to put this somewhere.

Wow OP, you sound just like me! i'm just finishing my first year of uni and of my "friends" from college i am in touch with 3 still and theyre all guys (i am female!) who i just went out drinking with. noone i was particularly "close" to, just guys i had the occasional laugh with.

All my female supposed "friends" i lost touch with over the long summer between 6th form and uni and now i'm here, i couldnt care less. Here i've met more people like me, of my intellect level, who are interested in the same things as me and who wont judge on your clothes, your hair, your looks...

College / 6th form is a tough time becuaes its vital for people to get the grades they want for university. or there is the flip side, people who couldnt care less. This mix, along with changes of friendship groups, impressing boys/girls, drinking (legally) for the first time, going out etc creates a sort of American Teen HighSchool atmosphere. Its like living in the OC or Laguna Beach and i know exactly how it feels.

Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it. a lot of people are friends becuase it suits them. They can help them out with work, or look good in a group together when they go out ... again to impress blokes or women! its a constant battle and i learnt that in the end, youfind it that pathetic that you really cant be bothered to do anything about it. after all, there really IS nothing you can do. People will be shallow, bitchy and out for all they can get. Thats life i'm afraid and until you're in an environment with people like yourself (ie Uni) you have to put up with a mix. You wont always get on with everyne. you wont always agree with what people stand for and how they conduct themselves, rise above it and just be you. Play them at their own game. You get what you want from them, a companion for the last few weeks of college and then get the hell out of there. Work / holiday thru the summer, prep yourself for uni and have a ball when you get there.

thats what i did, and i wouldnt have had it any other way.

Dont get me wrong, i have some awesome memories from college but with those there are some s***ty times. Really s***ty ones.

Rise above it. You know you're better than that, just wait til you get to uni and find people just like you :smile:

Reply 2

40550

2

Focus on the nice people and your college work. As you said, you will be leaving college soon, don't get too worked about those people who are no good for you

Reply 3

sufiankane

2

well, its a bit of a bummer that its like that, but then unfortunately this si life, people move on. you will make new friends, new enemies and hate new people. best thing you can do is just focus ahead, and not behind as that cannot be changed.

Rant. College.

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