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    My boyfriend and I met while we were travelling a few months ago. Things moved pretty quickly and we decided to be a couple within a few weeks of knowing each other. A week or so after I found out that in the small space we had been 'official' he had already cheated on me with someone else. I forgave him thinking it was maybe him being scared of commitment - we've since spent every day together for the last 3 months. Throughout these 3 months I've found messages he's sent to friends saying we're not serious, he told someone else he couldn't wait for them to be single.. a couple of times where we've had sex and uh, things haven't really worked out too well for him.. he's said "don't worry, used to happen with my ex all the time too"... he contacted his ex recently so he could buy glasses cheaper through one of her parents without mentioning it to me... the thing is about a month ago we had to move back to the UK due to one of his family members passing away, and we agreed to live here (with his parents) until we have saved up to travel again.

    It sounds pretty bad to me, but the thing is I love him and writing this I feel very naive. I'm in a pretty bad state of mind right now, very depressed and missing my old life very much, I don't have any friends where we're living now, no job, no money/income until I find a job.. - but I'm also happy to put it aside and find work here so we can be together albeit we haven't been together too long so, reading back I can see how silly this looks. Anyway, since being here I've found he has pictures of ex and her kid on his PC and found old valentines cards etc and I politely asked him if he could maybe get rid of all this sorta stuff cause it's not really what I want to see... he went in a bit of a mood but agreed to do so. It's been a couple of weeks since then (and I've reminded him politely a few times over the past couple of weeks to kindly clear the pics etc..) and I was on his PC looking for our travel pictures today and found that he has also got naked pictures and videos of his ex on his computer as well... very explicit with toys etc.

    I'm scared to bring it up as he told me to keep away from looking at the pics on his PC until he clears them (which with reminders he doesn't seem in much of a rush to do). I don't feel like he takes our relationship very seriously but I also feel obliged to stay as he has been helping me out financially and I owe him a fair amount of money. If I were to move back home with my parents then I wouldn't be able to pay him back for months to a year. If I stay I should be able to pick up work and get the money back to him ASAP.

    I'm going home for a week over easter which will be a nice break since we've been together every day for months but I'm not sure what I should do. We argue regularly since we live together and we have different tastes in tv shows/movies, I'm a spender he's a saver sorta thing and his lifestyle isn't really what I'm used to as I have a hard time staying in one place and all my friends are ambitious etc whereas he would be happy living at home forever and his friends all seem to have criminal records etc and average jobs and what not. It's fine, but it's just not what I'm used to.... I just don't know how much longer I can let the way I feel shield the fact we have a pretty rocky relationship and I feel more than uncomfortable with him having pictures of his ex, particularly nudes etc especially when they are still in touch...

    Please someone talk some sense into me..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend and I met while we were travelling a few months ago. Things moved pretty quickly and we decided to be a couple within a few weeks of knowing each other. A week or so after I found out that in the small space we had been 'official' he had already cheated on me with someone else. I forgave him thinking it was maybe him being scared of commitment - we've since spent every day together for the last 3 months. Throughout these 3 months I've found messages he's sent to friends saying we're not serious, he told someone else he couldn't wait for them to be single.. a couple of times where we've had sex and uh, things haven't really worked out too well for him.. he's said "don't worry, used to happen with my ex all the time too"... he contacted his ex recently so he could buy glasses cheaper through one of her parents without mentioning it to me... the thing is about a month ago we had to move back to the UK due to one of his family members passing away, and we agreed to live here (with his parents) until we have saved up to travel again.

    It sounds pretty bad to me, but the thing is I love him and writing this I feel very naive. I'm in a pretty bad state of mind right now, very depressed and missing my old life very much, I don't have any friends where we're living now, no job, no money/income until I find a job.. - but I'm also happy to put it aside and find work here so we can be together albeit we haven't been together too long so, reading back I can see how silly this looks. Anyway, since being here I've found he has pictures of ex and her kid on his PC and found old valentines cards etc and I politely asked him if he could maybe get rid of all this sorta stuff cause it's not really what I want to see... he went in a bit of a mood but agreed to do so. It's been a couple of weeks since then (and I've reminded him politely a few times over the past couple of weeks to kindly clear the pics etc..) and I was on his PC looking for our travel pictures today and found that he has also got naked pictures and videos of his ex on his computer as well... very explicit with toys etc.

    I'm scared to bring it up as he told me to keep away from looking at the pics on his PC until he clears them (which with reminders he doesn't seem in much of a rush to do). I don't feel like he takes our relationship very seriously but I also feel obliged to stay as he has been helping me out financially and I owe him a fair amount of money. If I were to move back home with my parents then I wouldn't be able to pay him back for months to a year. If I stay I should be able to pick up work and get the money back to him ASAP.

    I'm going home for a week over easter which will be a nice break since we've been together every day for months but I'm not sure what I should do. We argue regularly since we live together and we have different tastes in tv shows/movies, I'm a spender he's a saver sorta thing and his lifestyle isn't really what I'm used to as I have a hard time staying in one place and all my friends are ambitious etc whereas he would be happy living at home forever and his friends all seem to have criminal records etc and average jobs and what not. It's fine, but it's just not what I'm used to.... I just don't know how much longer I can let the way I feel shield the fact we have a pretty rocky relationship and I feel more than uncomfortable with him having pictures of his ex, particularly nudes etc especially when they are still in touch...

    Please someone talk some sense into me..
    I don't think you re right for each other,sorry.
 
 
 
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