The Student Room Group

i feel so lonely and lost

hey guys...

well there were and are many problems in my life. with the gcse's i am more stressed than ever. i write on here because i feel its somewhere that i can let my emotions out whilst not being embarassed or whatever.

anyway, whilst i had a lot of friends in my primary school i moved on to high school and the worst happened: my dad got a tumour in the brain. with me being a english born chinese guy it was never easy for me to make friends even though i was a sociable and well liked person i think . well, my dad's condition was getting worse and there was a chance he would not make it and it was me that was left to carry the family so to speak. whilst i was angry and upset i looked out for my little brother and mum who was distraught.

Now, i wanted to promise my dad that if he didn't make this operation he would be assured that i would do well in school as his goal in life was to see me and my brother to suceed in life. (i was seriously underacheiving with predicted Ds & Es due to various factors). so in year 10 i tried really hard and through blood, sweat and tears i'm excelling in my GCSEs with straight As and A*s. good news was my dad survived, i was overjoyed: nice one.

However, with this, people started hating me because i was doing well and as i was so down and moody at the time (i know, i really should have dealt with the situation better). Now, no one will talk to me and really i am segregated as i can't fit into any social group. the groups are so stupid because it is like a typical american high school thing ( no offence). i try to be my old self but no one wants to be friends with me and whilst everyone is talking about stuff like playing footy together etc i am stuck.

i have also become ridiculed but i guess i'm ok as my family is backing me to suceed in life. well, i only have one true friend who is a absolute legend and he stuck with me through the bad times so yeah! :biggrin: .
However, with all the guys jostling for popularity and social conformality i don't know what to do. me and my best friend are going to 6th form in a different college but so are the other nobs who talk about me behind their backs etc. i don't want to sound like a idiot but i hate how they think i'm a swot but i can't please everyone!

thanks for taking that in people!
But when you go to 6th form, I'm sure there will be loads of other people that are not from your secondary school.

You can make friends with the ones that are not nobs, just ignore the ones that are prats...after all, you're gonna be the one doing a decent degree in Uni and they will be flipping burgers in McDonalds, haha.

No sweat, just get out there and meet new people!
Reply 2
thanks! nice to see a fellow prospective law student too!
In this situation, grades are more important than "friends", especially ones like that. If they can't bear to see you achieve, especially after what you've been through, then they were never true friends and they will not be part of your life in the long term. Try and fast forward a few years. Would you rather look back and be proud that you achieved great results despite those idiots? Or would you rather look back and think you could have done better, but you wasted time trying to be friends with people who weren't worth it?

School is a pretty tough time because it becomes your entire world, so it's easy to lose perspective when it comes to peer pressure and wanting to be accepted by people. But as soon as you leave school and go out into the world, it's completely different. This starts to a certain extent in sixth form, when people begin to realise that if they want to get into a good uni, they have to get good grades, and you can be friends with people like you who want to do well. When you get to uni it's even better because there are so many people around you really can't fail to find some people who are on your wave length.

So even though it's not particularly pleasant right now, get your head down, work hard and think, "**** this. I'm better than them!"
Heheheh, I'm in Year 13 and I left today.

Trust me, I don't mind admitting it, I am a "geek" too - I spend more time in the library than any of my friends. Whilst they are messing up their lives, I hope to study Law in London. OK, so they never were good at academics anyway (they are Arts and Media type people), but they have really missed out.

I am the only person in the 6th form that is what people might call a "punker", and yes, I am an oi-punker...none of my mates like the same stuff as me, but that's cool. They might be complete opposites to me, but we still have a laugh.

It just shows that just cos you're different, it doesn't mean no one will like you. Opposites attract (OK, that sounds so cheesy), so maybe you'll meet some fun people - peple that you never thought you'll be friends with in a million years.

Just be confident and take your time - you won't be a loner, as you sound like a decent chap. :smile:
Reply 5
hey, you're really brave and sound like an amazing person for going through all this, and still caring about getting good grades.

Don't worry about the friends thing, maybe your next two years at sixth form won't be great, but its a new college and you have every chance of making a new start, the mix of people should be better and i doubt you'll get ridiculed for being a geek and working hard, as everyone in 6th form wants to do well, and is there by their own choice.
Just work hard and get into a good uni, I guarantee that you'll make some great friends at uni if you put in the effort.
Reply 6
Garfield
hey guys...

well there were and are many problems in my life. with the gcse's i am more stressed than ever. i write on here because i feel its somewhere that i can let my emotions out whilst not being embarassed or whatever.

anyway, whilst i had a lot of friends in my primary school i moved on to high school and the worst happened: my dad got a tumour in the brain. with me being a english born chinese guy it was never easy for me to make friends even though i was a sociable and well liked person i think . well, my dad's condition was getting worse and there was a chance he would not make it and it was me that was left to carry the family so to speak. whilst i was angry and upset i looked out for my little brother and mum who was distraught.

Now, i wanted to promise my dad that if he didn't make this operation he would be assured that i would do well in school as his goal in life was to see me and my brother to suceed in life. (i was seriously underacheiving with predicted Ds & Es due to various factors). so in year 10 i tried really hard and through blood, sweat and tears i'm excelling in my GCSEs with straight As and A*s. good news was my dad survived, i was overjoyed: nice one.

However, with this, people started hating me because i was doing well and as i was so down and moody at the time (i know, i really should have dealt with the situation better). Now, no one will talk to me and really i am segregated as i can't fit into any social group. the groups are so stupid because it is like a typical american high school thing ( no offence). i try to be my old self but no one wants to be friends with me and whilst everyone is talking about stuff like playing footy together etc i am stuck.

i have also become ridiculed but i guess i'm ok as my family is backing me to suceed in life. well, i only have one true friend who is a absolute legend and he stuck with me through the bad times so yeah! :biggrin: .
However, with all the guys jostling for popularity and social conformality i don't know what to do. me and my best friend are going to 6th form in a different college but so are the other nobs who talk about me behind their backs etc. i don't want to sound like a idiot but i hate how they think i'm a swot but i can't please everyone!

thanks for taking that in people!


people loathe what they dont have. even though the tumour was a bad event you pulled through as well as your family thata great!

Also people dont liek you because you are successful? sounds dumb. Their just being idiots, i dont see why grades have to get in the way of friendships. I know a person who got 12 A* at GCSE, he outperfirmed me by a lot, he doesnt give a crap. Thing is though is just stick wiht what you have, i knwo its hard, but when you move onto the enxt phase of your life just try to make friends. You shouldnt be brought down just because you worked hard and clever.
Citizen Zero
OK, so they never were good at academics anyway (they are Arts and Media type people), but they have really missed out.




Hey, English is an arts subject! :mad:
Reply 8
6th form is a totally different world and you'll meet lots of new and friendly people.
congratulations for succeeding in your aims, be proud and happy, ur a good guy :smile:
Reply 9
you sound very mature for your age which is a plus point for others such as myself! i have never heard of or read upon a mature guy as yourself who is actually doing their GCSE's and working so hard to please their family that is so great ;console; i am very proud of u, if it was for me i dont think i could be as strong as you well done for that :-) secondly these nobs you talk about are immature brats with nothing better to do with their lifes other than bitch about people who are succesful and strong. I am a girl at my sixth form, i am independant and their are several nobs just like at your school who follow me and dont like it, by them being so called nobs i have become very independant and have stopped caring about these nobs opinions. I will give you a typical example of my situation because i dont like hanging around with these immature people i am supposdly (sp) in their eyes "middle class" when they feel i think they are working class and that isnt true, its where the lack of understanding and maturity that comes here. Trust me you are not alone, and when i was doing my GCSE's i wasnt having a very good time myself and i passed with very good GCSE results, and i have continued to progress as much as i want because i have ignored these "nobs" and worked hard to please my family. However i have faith you can succceed and i know u can since you have proved it by doing so well in your exams esp when your father was not well, please dont stress yourself out with such people.
You honestly get these type everywhere trust me, but they are only jealous of you doing well so please dont worry your pants of.
I wish u the best of luck if you need any help feel free to pm me :smile:
:hugs:
Le_désir
you sound very mature for your age which is a plus point for others such as myself! i have never heard of or read upon a mature guy as yourself who is actually doing their GCSE's and working so hard to please their family that is so great ;console; i am very proud of u, if it was for me i dont think i could be as strong as you well done for that :-) secondly these nobs you talk about are immature brats with nothing better to do with their lifes other than bitch about people who are succesful and strong. I am a girl at my sixth form, i am independant and their are several nobs just like at your school who follow me and dont like it, by them being so called nobs i have become very independant and have stopped caring about these nobs opinions. I will give you a typical example of my situation because i dont like hanging around with these immature people i am supposdly (sp) in their eyes "middle class" when they feel i think they are working class and that isnt true, its where the lack of understanding and maturity that comes here. Trust me you are not alone, and when i was doing my GCSE's i wasnt having a very good time myself and i passed with very good GCSE results, and i have continued to progress as much as i want because i have ignored these "nobs" and worked hard to please my family. However i have faith you can succceed and i know u can since you have proved it by doing so well in your exams esp when your father was not well, please dont stress yourself out with such people.
You honestly get these type everywhere trust me, but they are only jealous of you doing well so please dont worry your pants of.
I wish u the best of luck if you need any help feel free to pm me :smile:
:hugs:


Hi, i'm actually quite surprised now! I have the same situation as you too :biggrin:
They actually bitch about how my parents were middle class blah (because my parents owned businesses) and i had everything on a 'silver spoon' but that was not the damn case! :p: Also, my best mate that i mentioned gets this a lot too because of this...silly i know. (also, i feel a little bit silly for being worried too :smile: )

They thought i had a attitude of looking down at them for being 'in the hood' but in fact how can i think that because my family was in the same income bracket as theirs before.

Well, thanks guys for listening i feel great now!
Garfield
(i know, i really should have dealt with the situation better).


Don't blame yourself! It sounds like you've had a lot going on to deal with, and you shoud be expected to deal with it all perfectly! I admire your determinedness - well done for getting all those As and A*s, thats a BIG achievement, esp with all the stress you've been under. So DONT blame yourself for all these losers who are clearly shallow and pathetic. You're gonna be fine! xx
Reply 12
You can't be friends with everyone - there's no point in trying to amend yourself to fit into the kind of person they want you to be.

You've got one good friend, than a lot of people have - cherish that friendship

:smile: