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    (Original post by chikane)
    You need to close the thread.
    I don't have powers in this forum.
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    (Original post by tailred)
    fun eh?
    Haha yes we were just talking and I said that the one night thing we had, if I wasn't in such a bad state at the time, it would have been a lot better, and she agreed, but she also said she knew I was upset so that's why she didn't try to persist or convince me to stay or anything like that
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    (Original post by Carnationlilyrose)
    She's not going to feel bad because the more you do to her, the more she is going to feel perfectly justified in making it plain she wants nothing to do with you. You are driving her in the very opposite direction from the one you want. Leave her alone.
    By leaving her alone, she's happy, she doesn't care about me. Me on the other hand, she's torn my heart into pieces and she did not care!
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    By leaving her alone, she's happy, she doesn't care about me. Me on the other hand, she's torn my heart into pieces and she did not care!
    Nor will she. Even if you contact her, she is only going to be confirmed in her stance that she wants nothing to do with you. You don't have the power to make her hurt, because she obviously doesn't care about you. People only feel hurt about people they care about. She doesn't care about you and therefore she will not feel any pain over your pain. You don't have any power over her to make her feel anything other than that she wants nothing to do with you, and any contact you have with her will only reinforce the fact that she will never care about you. You are creating your own vicious circle.
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    Haha yes we were just talking and I said that the one night thing we had, if I wasn't in such a bad state at the time, it would have been a lot better, and she agreed, but she also said she knew I was upset so that's why she didn't try to persist or convince me to stay or anything like that
    This girl seems caring an nice to acknowledge your situation and feelings for this person.
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    Haven't read or caught up with the thread (far too long, not got the time tbf) however what I would say is people will sometimes take you out of their life at points and it can be hard for that to register.

    I've had it done to me from guys who I perceived as friends but once they got a girlfriend, they'd stop talking, which can hurt a lot. Regardless of the situation though or how messed up it is, people do it a lot - I've done it before but sometimes it's necessary.

    Frankly, this girl has chosen that she doesn't want to be a part of your life and as harsh as it is, you need to accept that. It sounds like it'll be for the better anyway, as all she's brought is grief to your life. You both, from what I've read, had a really toxic relationship and not being involved with her sounds like the best route.

    Not long until uni is finished good luck.

    I'm sure you'll do well with uni and confident you'll get over this eventually.
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    (Original post by tailred)
    This girl seems caring an nice to acknowledge your situation and feelings for this person.
    I know. She's the best. The most caring and genuine person I've ever met.
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    (Original post by Carnationlilyrose)
    Nor will she. Even if you contact her, she is only going to be confirmed in her stance that she wants nothing to do with you. You don't have the power to make her hurt, because she obviously doesn't care about you. People only feel hurt about people they care about. She doesn't care about you and therefore she will not feel any pain over your pain. You don't have any power over her to make her feel anything other than that she wants nothing to do with you, and any contact you have with her will only reinforce the fact that she will never care about you. You are creating your own vicious circle.
    True. But I know I can hurt her and make her go crazy. I know what to say to do that. But like I said before, a part doesn't want to do that to her, regardless of how little she cares of me. At this point, I don't care if this girl hates me for life. The damage is already done. She burned me. She will get what's coming to her.

    If I had any hope there was a chance to be her friend again, I would never send the message. But I know there is more chance of the world ending tomorrow than her being my friend again so really I don't have anything to lose, in a way.

    I really wanted to write this to her:

    "And let me tell u 1 thing. I hope God gives u a good heart one day coz u dnt have one"
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    You will be fine, Its difficult but theres plenty more fish in the sea, you wake and the sun rises, dont be sad over a *****, bros before hoes, for life, shes not good enough you, any girl would be so lucky to be with you.
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    Wow this is so ironic, that kubler-model was something I read up on as part of one of my modules at uni, just a couple of weeks ago.

    I know it's better not to say anything and just leave it alone. The good memories I had with get are beginning to fade; it feels like a long long time ago. All I can think of is how bad this friendship ended. I feel hurt by what she did.

    She meant so much to me. I really have learned a lot from this and it will make me wiser but it came at a cost.

    Every day is pain. I miss her. She definitely is not thinking of me, she just doesn't care. I still remember how badly she talked to me last time. It's just such a sad feeling. And I wanted to get back at her but what's the point? I will just upset myself more.

    So if i don't send that message and contact her, I have to somehow go through all this hurt and pain in a different way.
    I wish I studied interesting stuff like that

    Okay, you're halfway there. It's good that the good memories are fading away. Sometimes it is too easy to cling onto the good memories and feel more sad as a result. But you also have to not hang on to the bad memories - otherwise it turns you into a spiteful person and makes things worse. You just have to get to the stage where you have some memories but they are just things you draw on for life experience.

    That bites. As long as you do nothing silly, the pain will subside over time and you'll get over her, you just have to not send her anything, not bump into her, get bored of thinking about her and that will be that.

    Contacting her is a no no. So many things can go wrong and you'll just end up going in circles.
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    Right now, at this current moment, I don't feel anger, I just feel extremely sad and hurt. I have tears in my eyes. I miss her so much. I really regret how all of this happened.
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    Worst of all you have wasted so much time pursuing her when she had a boyfriend anyway, like I said I can't help but feel she got tired of you following her around like a lost puppy.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Worst of all you have wasted so much time pursuing her when she had a boyfriend anyway, like I said I can't help but feel she got tired of you following her around like a lost puppy.
    True. Who knows. I still feel like she used me.
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I wish I studied interesting stuff like that

    Okay, you're halfway there. It's good that the good memories are fading away. Sometimes it is too easy to cling onto the good memories and feel more sad as a result. But you also have to not hang on to the bad memories - otherwise it turns you into a spiteful person and makes things worse. You just have to get to the stage where you have some memories but they are just things you draw on for life experience.

    That bites. As long as you do nothing silly, the pain will subside over time and you'll get over her, you just have to not send her anything, not bump into her, get bored of thinking about her and that will be that.

    Contacting her is a no no. So many things can go wrong and you'll just end up going in circles.
    Hmm..ok. I still feel like I am in a better position than say 5-6 weeks ago where I was in the gutter, in out of the hospital and gp, and on the verge of taking anti-depressants.

    Thankfully, I managed to fix up and get all my uni work done and managed to recover in some way and deal with things.

    I just sometimes have these weak moments where I suddenly feel really sad and miss her and think of contacting her. :/

    I will get over this. I just hope it's sooner rather than later.
 
 
 
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