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    So I've been in this job for about 6 months and there's been this girl who I've always found attractive but up until recently I wasn't too interested in the possibility of having a relationship as I was trying to get settled into my new job, and I also knew she had a boyfriend. However, in the last 3-4 weeks, I've suddenly become really attracted to her and I'd really like to ask her out sometime. I'm friendly with her in work and we've talked a bit of facebook.

    However, I still don't know her that well. Also she is still going out with her current boyfriend and as far as I can tell, she seems happy. I'm not the kind of guy to be a home wrecker.

    However, I don't understand why pretty much since I started she would always look over at me and hold the look a lot of times and she almost always strikes conversations when she can. I quite frankly haven't shown much interest (for the reasons previously mentioned) and you would think that she would have given up. However, if anything she's looking even more and it's starting to get noticed around the office by a few people. She always wants to chat and she's made a few flirty comments here and there.

    I don't really know what to do as I find her really attractive and would love to ask her out on a date but she has a boyfriend. She really doesn't come across as the type of girl who would cheat on her boyfriend, so I'm confused.

    Any help would be great!

    Cheers
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    (Original post by Emis23)
    So I've been in this job for about 6 months and there's been this girl who I've always found attractive but up until recently I wasn't too interested in the possibility of having a relationship as I was trying to get settled into my new job, and I also knew she had a boyfriend. However, in the last 3-4 weeks, I've suddenly become really attracted to her and I'd really like to ask her out sometime. I'm friendly with her in work and we've talked a bit of facebook.

    However, I still don't know her that well. Also she is still going out with her current boyfriend and as far as I can tell, she seems happy. I'm not the kind of guy to be a home wrecker.

    However, I don't understand why pretty much since I started she would always look over at me and hold the look a lot of times and she almost always strikes conversations when she can. I quite frankly haven't shown much interest (for the reasons previously mentioned) and you would think that she would have given up. However, if anything she's looking even more and it's starting to get noticed around the office by a few people. She always wants to chat and she's made a few flirty comments here and there.

    I don't really know what to do as I find her really attractive and would love to ask her out on a date but she has a boyfriend. She really doesn't come across as the type of girl who would cheat on her boyfriend, so I'm confused.

    Any help would be great!

    Cheers
    She could just be really friendly but either way as she's currently in a relationship then just stick to being friends with her for now.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    She could just be really friendly but either way as she's currently in a relationship then just stick to being friends with her for now.
    Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. The only thing I worry about is her not realising I like her in that way. I guess I can't really do much else though.
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    (Original post by Emis23)
    Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. The only thing I worry about is her not realising I like her in that way. I guess I can't really do much else though.
    Telling her might lose her as a friend so it's up to you if it's worth the risk really.
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    Honestly going to sound unfair to the boyfriend here but if she is showing interest in you, clearly she must be considering a change. Don't chase her nor obviously cause a situation where she cheats, but if she flirts with you, it isn't totally immoral for you to flirt back. This would allow you to gauge if she's just being friendly or has more in mind, since if she escalated any flirting you have a clearer signal. At which point you could semi-casually (as in making it clear you're not joking with your interest, but not an aggressive "wtf is your game you have a boyfriend") ask her about the boyfriend issue and what\s actually going on.
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    (Original post by Emis23)
    Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. The only thing I worry about is her not realising I like her in that way. I guess I can't really do much else though.
    If she was really happy with her bf then she wouldn't be paying you alot of attention even your colleagues are noticing it too.

    If i was with someone who i was happy with i would not be trying to get your attention ill be friendly that's it unless she is an attention seeker?

    If you like her theres no harm in asking her out for a drink or coffee but keep things as friends until she decides what she wants. You don't want to be the reason her relationship failed and if she is not happy with her bf she should end things with him before getting involved with you as i know you wouldn't like to be cheated on.
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    Just be sure her current bf couldn't knock you out.....If he seems like he couldn't then she's fair play.
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    (Original post by Emis23)
    So I've been in this job for about 6 months and there's been this girl who I've always found attractive but up until recently I wasn't too interested in the possibility of having a relationship as I was trying to get settled into my new job, and I also knew she had a boyfriend. However, in the last 3-4 weeks, I've suddenly become really attracted to her and I'd really like to ask her out sometime. I'm friendly with her in work and we've talked a bit of facebook.

    However, I still don't know her that well. Also she is still going out with her current boyfriend and as far as I can tell, she seems happy. I'm not the kind of guy to be a home wrecker.

    However, I don't understand why pretty much since I started she would always look over at me and hold the look a lot of times and she almost always strikes conversations when she can. I quite frankly haven't shown much interest (for the reasons previously mentioned) and you would think that she would have given up. However, if anything she's looking even more and it's starting to get noticed around the office by a few people. She always wants to chat and she's made a few flirty comments here and there.

    I don't really know what to do as I find her really attractive and would love to ask her out on a date but she has a boyfriend. She really doesn't come across as the type of girl who would cheat on her boyfriend, so I'm confused.

    Any help would be great!

    Cheers
    Organise some work drinks. Loosen up around each other. Acquire knowledge. Reassess the situation. Win at life.
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    As you know she has a boyfriend so she is off limits unless she does split up with him.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Honestly going to sound unfair to the boyfriend here but if she is showing interest in you, clearly she must be considering a change. Don't chase her nor obviously cause a situation where she cheats, but if she flirts with you, it isn't totally immoral for you to flirt back. This would allow you to gauge if she's just being friendly or has more in mind, since if she escalated any flirting you have a clearer signal. At which point you could semi-casually (as in making it clear you're not joking with your interest, but not an aggressive "wtf is your game you have a boyfriend" ask her about the boyfriend issue and what\s actually going on.
    It's confusing as I would think that it's not going well with her boyfriend but over the weekend she put two things on Facebook about her boyfriend. One was having a meal with her best friend and her boyfriend and the other was a picture of him, her and a few other people at a wedding. It certainly doesn't seem like she's not happy about their relationship. So that would mean that she's an attention seeker. However, I honestly don't think she is. She actually a shy person and quiet person.

    I think I'd have to get to know her more before I asked about her boyfriend. It's so frustrating at times as I just want to speak to her away from the office but it's near impossible to do that at least until I move to the flat that is near to where she lives.
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    (Original post by Emis23)
    It's confusing as I would think that it's not going well with her boyfriend but over the weekend she put two things on Facebook about her boyfriend. One was having a meal with her best friend and her boyfriend and the other was a picture of him, her and a few other people at a wedding. It certainly doesn't seem like she's not happy about their relationship. So that would mean that she's an attention seeker. However, I honestly don't think she is. She actually a shy person and quiet person.

    I think I'd have to get to know her more before I asked about her boyfriend. It's so frustrating at times as I just want to speak to her away from the office but it's near impossible to do that at least until I move to the flat that is near to where she lives.
    Don't mistake the shy and quiet type for nice people, attention seekers are nasty work and even if her boyfriend was God he wouldn't be able to satisfy her. I'd avoid her like the plague.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    If she was really happy with her bf then she wouldn't be paying you alot of attention even your colleagues are noticing it too.

    If i was with someone who i was happy with i would not be trying to get your attention ill be friendly that's it unless she is an attention seeker?

    If you like her theres no harm in asking her out for a drink or coffee but keep things as friends until she decides what she wants. You don't want to be the reason her relationship failed and if she is not happy with her bf she should end things with him before getting involved with you as i know you wouldn't like to be cheated on.
    I think my last post covers a lot of what you said. I think it's going to be difficult to ask her for a friendly coffee as she is shy and a few times she could have said hello when we passed each other at lunch and she didn't say anything.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Don't mistake the shy and quiet type for nice people, attention seekers are nasty work and even if her boyfriend was God he wouldn't be able to satisfy her. I'd avoid her like the plague.
    I know what you mean. I've wondered whether she is an attention seeker myself. However, what changed my mind was thinking that in the 6 months I've worked there she's always shown an interest in me. Only in the last few weeks have I shown an interest in her. If she was simply an attention seeker she would have lost interest in me a long time ago.
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    (Original post by Emis23)
    I know what you mean. I've wondered whether she is an attention seeker myself. However, what changed my mind was thinking that in the 6 months I've worked there she's always shown an interest in me. Only in the last few weeks have I shown an interest in her. If she was simply an attention seeker she would have lost interest in me a long time ago.
    Bad logic. She gets attention from everyone else easily, imagine how good she feels if she could win you over? Attention seekers hate being ignored so they pursue you to fill the void and prove they are worthy.
 
 
 
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