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Help, should I stay with him

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No scrubs, girl.
Run for the hills.
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Avatar for Alfed
Alfed
4
Let me be the first person on this thread to actually make a constructive post.

First off there are worse jobs than being a carpenter. My brother was a carpenter, he left it to work on a chicken farm. Basically my brother gave up on being a carpenter because he wasn't great at it and other people at his work didn't make him feel useful and welcome. Whereas where he works now he is the best employee and basically runs the day to day workings of the chicken farm for his boss. For this he gets more money, more hours, gifts and so on from his boss. At first though my brother was just making minimum wage too, for about 3 years. So I wouldn't knock him being a carpenter if he has ambition or a good work ethic or is just better than everybody else who does it. So I think your post about that is rather unfair. My brother still lives with his parents at 26. And there is no need to use his brother against him, he is a different person to his brother so shouldn't be expected to take the same path in life. I mean what has your BF done that is irresponsible? Maybe he isn't ambitious enough for you and doesn't have the same drive you have, or that you want your BF to have? As for the Kesha thing, I agree with him about the alleged rape allegations she has claimed are likely untrue. However I disagree with him about the contact and I think you are right on that. I am sure he wasn't talking about you when he talked about most rape allegations being false. But I can obviously understand why it would be hurtful to you that he would think that. Have you told him about how that made you feel?

As for his racist and xemophobic comments, have you asked him any questions about it? About why he thinks that? You don't have to argue with him, just try and understand where he is coming from with these comments. Maybe he doesn't feel secure and like he is losing power, or "British" people like him are. So he resents it. Personally I would try and help him and try to understand him, be more considerate of his views and what he wants. However in the end it doesn't seem like you are the right people for each other. Even if you do love him and this was just a thread for you to vent about how he can make you feel. :smile:
(edited 8 years ago)
Sounds like you've already made up your mind! Tbh it doesn't sound like he's worth your time - you're too good for him, don't let the fact that you've been together long cloud your judgment

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