my mum walked out on my dad when i was 10, one afternoon for absolutely no reason, you might say that i was a kid and didnt know but trust me for no reason. my mums family knew about it and being asian its a big think leaving your husband but they didnt even say anything like youve got three kids instead they helped her. my dad was so upset and he even said to my mum lets just stay together for the kids we dont even have to talk or anything we can sleep in different bedrooms but lets just stay together for the kids. i love my dad so much because of this. so we starting staying half half with my parents, my mum was just normal but my dad used to cry his eyes out before we would stay at our mums as he would miss us loads. when i was around 12 i chose to stay with my dad full time. it was half because i wanted to and half because my dad wanted me to stay with him as i was his little girl. my parents used to fight all the time on phone calls texts and they used to drag us into it and manipulate us without realising like saying 'your mum is this' 'your dad is that'. my mum and dad went to custody court and we got involved with social workers like cafcass and the court ended up saying stay with whoever. while i was staying at my dads my brothers used to still see her, i used to get jealous when they went to see her as she didnt make any effort to try and make me see her, she basically shut me off. i didnt know how to tell my dad i wanted to see her bc it would hurt him so i just kept it all inside.
when i did start seeing her when i was 13 she became cold towards us and started seeing us a burden, she used to go out a lot and sleep with married men and she basically chose sleezbags over her kids. we told her family about it as my dad pressured us to and we didnt want to and they didnt even say anything but then my mum disowned us after it and told us we couldnt see her anymore and just dropped us without hesitating. around a year later we started seeing her in the day, then evenings, then spending the night and then two nights but she never looked after us properly, she never cooked or buy us anything we needed like clothes, she just used to say your not my responsibility. she became really cold towards us esp me, its like she hated me deep down. she would never have us for more than two nights, and if we just turned up on her doorstep one day she wouldnt have us shed say go away. shes not a proper mother i dont know why she wont have us, like when im coming back to the UK my mum said we cant stay with her even though we havnt seen her in almost a year, shes pathetic and when im a mother one day i will never be like her and make my kids feel the way shes made me feel.
i can tell you what happened but i can no way explain what it felt like and how much it hurt, bc of her im basically a pathological attention seeker and i do stupid things for attention, i blame her for all the bad things ive done in the past and i feel like shes robbed me of a loving childhood and teenage years. i get so jealous when i see other girls and i think why cant that be me and her, my stepmum has been like a mum to me, i did things with her that i didnt do with my mum like having my first period or taking me shopping. sorry if i sound pathetic
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- 24-03-2016 05:00