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Don't feel positive about new relationship - can anyone give advice? Watch

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    #1

    As the title says, I've been in a relationship with this girl for 2 months, and it's my first ever relationship, she's had many, so that might be partly why I am finding it difficult.

    I have also suffered anxiety for a number of years, so I think she might pick up on this, and perceive me as weak, insecure and boring, all the things which guys tries not to be.

    We've been on a number of dates, a few times around each other houses, and to various outdoor settings.

    I am worried that I am (or she thinks) a boring person who lacks the skill to excite or stimulate enjoyment in the relationship, and that I am also not physically attractive enough for her.

    I am the one who tends to initiate physical contact, and we have not slept together yet after over 10 dates, so I just feel like she's not that interested in me, and I keep having thoughts that breaking up is inevitable, and I do this to protect myself as I don't see any other outcome.

    I am not sure how to even bring this up when I am with her, and the whole situation sucks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As the title says, I've been in a relationship with this girl for 2 months, and it's my first ever relationship, she's had many, so that might be partly why I am finding it difficult.

    I have also suffered anxiety for a number of years, so I think she might pick up on this, and perceive me as weak, insecure and boring, all the things which guys tries not to be.

    We've been on a number of dates, a few times around each other houses, and to various outdoor settings.

    I am worried that I am (or she thinks) a boring person who lacks the skill to excite or stimulate enjoyment in the relationship, and that I am also not physically attractive enough for her.

    I am the one who tends to initiate physical contact, and we have not slept together yet after over 10 dates, so I just feel like she's not that interested in me, and I keep having thoughts that breaking up is inevitable, and I do this to protect myself as I don't see any other outcome.

    I am not sure how to even bring this up when I am with her, and the whole situation sucks
    Mate if she's been on over 10 dates with you she wants you/likes you
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As the title says, I've been in a relationship with this girl for 2 months, and it's my first ever relationship, she's had many, so that might be partly why I am finding it difficult.

    I have also suffered anxiety for a number of years, so I think she might pick up on this, and perceive me as weak, insecure and boring, all the things which guys tries not to be.

    We've been on a number of dates, a few times around each other houses, and to various outdoor settings.

    I am worried that I am (or she thinks) a boring person who lacks the skill to excite or stimulate enjoyment in the relationship, and that I am also not physically attractive enough for her.

    I am the one who tends to initiate physical contact, and we have not slept together yet after over 10 dates, so I just feel like she's not that interested in me, and I keep having thoughts that breaking up is inevitable, and I do this to protect myself as I don't see any other outcome.

    I am not sure how to even bring this up when I am with her, and the whole situation sucks
    I am going through this right now ... I understand you, my boy , all too well.
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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by KyleH123)
    Mate if she's been on over 10 dates with you she wants you/likes you
    My gut feeling just is that she's not very interested, and I don't wanna carry on if its always gonna be like this.

    But I don't wanna sound like a whiny *******, tell her what I feel and then she says something like 'to be honest, your not the right guy for me'.

    Should I just text her less often to see if she initiates more contact, or do I just meet her and l be like 'look, I like you but my feeling is that this relationship isn't developing and I get the feeling you are disinterested' should we go our separate ways?
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am going through this right now ... I understand you, my boy , all too well.
    Spoiler:
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    S..n
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    we have not slept together yet after over 10 dates, so I just feel like she's not that interested in me
    This is NOT something you should be worried about. I met with my ex 2 or 3 times a week for the 3-4 months or so we were together, and we never slept together. It's not something you should consider necessary for 'consummating' the relationship as such.

    Just to clarify, the reason we broke up had nothing to do with that, it was just circumstance more than anything.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My gut feeling just is that she's not very interested, and I don't wanna carry on if its always gonna be like this.

    But I don't wanna sound like a whiny *******, tell her what I feel and then she says something like 'to be honest, your not the right guy for me'.

    Should I just text her less often to see if she initiates more contact, or do I just meet her and l be like 'look, I like you but my feeling is that this relationship isn't developing and I get the feeling you are disinterested' should we go our separate ways?
    Date her as long as you feel necessary then try it onnnnnn :yep:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Alexion)
    This is NOT something you should be worried about. I met with my ex 2 or 3 times a week for the 3-4 months or so we were together, and we never slept together. It's not something you should consider necessary for 'consummating' the relationship as such.

    Just to clarify, the reason we broke up had nothing to do with that, it was just circumstance more than anything.
    That's fair enough, but I don't think I should ignore my gut. It feels like the relationship is sapping all of my energy, and giving nothing back in return. I don't consider sleeping with her the defining moment of anything, but I am considering maybe taking a step back, seeing if she reaches out to me, and accepting whatever the outcome, rather than constantly seeking confirmation she's still interested via text etc.

    She's going on holiday with her sister for a week after tomorrow, so maybe she'll just forget me, she said she won't have time to meet up before she goes tomorrow
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I still don't feel happy about this, does anyone have anything to add?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    bump
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So, I have not bothered texting her today to see if she texts me, but I've not heard a thing. Should I just wait it out?
 
 
 
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