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Finding life hard. (Relationships)

I find relationships really difficult.

I think its because I feel 'not worthy' or that people don't really like me and i have to be on consant 'entertainment' mode to be not completely ignored and looked passed.

Esp. if I'm out and pick up on signals like someone is angry/upset I assume its because they've realised that they don't like anymore.

I'm constantly feeling I have to impress but can't. But trying to be entertaining makes me more anxious and I end up going in the opposite direction.

Reply 1

aieou

Can anyone give tips on confidence building and/or not caring what other people think? This is really annoying and debilitating!

I'm not fishing for sympathy or "you're so great" kind of things!

Just some pointing in the right direction, thanks!!!!

Reply 2

Cromulent

Back straight, head up. Walk around like that for a few weeks and you'll be amazed at how different you feel.

If that doesn't do the trick, simply do some positive reinforcement. Say things that are positive to yourself. Most importantly of all live your life and stop worrying what other people think. Nothing anyone ever says changes anything about you or your own self worth. You just need the courage to realise that you are who you are and to be happy with that person for better or worse.

Reply 3

Juwel

Giving yourself an impossible task isn't the best start. You need to understand and take in (and perhaps even come to terms with) that you can't please everyone. With that in mind, just please yourself, and anyone else that's made happy is a bonus.

i think the key to this is u worrying so much about what others think and nt being yourself. i know it easy to say and hard to do but live life for yourself, forget about others and be yourself - what they think isn't as important!

Reply 6

Double Agent

Maybe you are trying to hard and expecting too much. Its unlikely people will just start to dislike you,so just be yourself. Dont read too much into situations, i always get into the habit of re-thinking all the negative things again and again, it doesnt help. Surround yourself with people you like, get yourself out there and have some fun. Dont try too hard! Dont think too much about it . Relax a bit. Hope this helps, its what i tell myself, as i too have a similar problem.

Reply 7

ßlαcksωαn

you're paranoid buddy. Sounds like you put an act on to impress people, perhaps your scared of them seeing or accepting the real you, but for a decent relationship you both have to be honest and be the real you! you cant fake forever, people will see through you in the end. And dont ever think you arnt good enough for someone, because you are.

Reply 8

aieou

The most difficult thing to understand is how to be.

Before you shout at me and say BE YOURSELF, I'm sure you'll have experienced that you have to charm people to be liked before they become interested in knowing the real you.

I've noticed that people have to personality modes, one public one and one private one.

The public one is when you are all charming and entertaining etc. like on a night out.

The private one is all your beliefs, outlooks and quirks.

I'm happy with my private mode apart from being quite anxious! But my public one needs fixing!! I don't know how to do this without staying true to myself, again I know you will say BE YOURSELF but people aren't themselves in both situations.

I can't remember where I was going with this