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The fact that people on have TSR flirting/relationships shows... (LOL) watch

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    (Original post by Unistudent77)
    Biased against people who use social media. By social media we CLEARLY mean tsr etc before you go 'but I use social media'... people who use social media as a way of chatting to people. I f two heterosexual people of different sexes chat, that may lead to them wanting to meet. WHERE IS THE PROBLEM?

    You have stated how much you dislike texting etc, how it is apparently 'sad' to use technology to connect with other people. You must be trying to be difficult on purpose. Deliberately ignoring the context of my reply, it's blindingly obvious.
    You're taking what i've said out of context.

    To make it again, easier for you:

    I don't think it's sad that people message eachother online. I don't think it's sad to use technology to connect with other people. How else will I see my family across the other side of the world?

    What I do think is sad, is if thats ALL you do. If your only method of meeting other people is through an online medium, then yeah I think that's sad.

    Look carefully at the words ALL and only. Caps and bold for emphasis.
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    (Original post by MountKimbie)
    Again, I you're just adding things in that I didn't say. If all you do is go around messaging girls/boys online...doesn't that make you thirsty and sad, however?
    Seeing as we're onto knowing certain words or not, do you know the word "infer"? As in, what I was trying to get across with my phrase "you really made it sound like"...?

    Okay, well...that's an extreme? What if they don't post any political/religious content or any jokes. Does that mean that person doesn't have an opinion? Does it mean they're not funny?

    Another extreme? It's really easy to give advice, remember. The quality of advice you give to another person doesn't necessarily reflect the quality of individual you are.
    Isn't it also an extreme to be talking about people who "only" go and message girls online and use that to pass judgements on the social skills of everybody who communicates online? And remember, I'm not saying that you intended to do this, or even did this, but that that is how it came across to me. Which as someone who likes to discuss communication will agree is an important point, I hope.

    I never said anything about posts giving you a precise idea of what someone is like, or a measure of their quality. But I think it's pretty undeniable that it gives you some ideas about what they are like, and opinions they hold. You can get clues as to whether someone is aggressive, or sarcastic, or makes inappropriate jokes, or if they like a good debate, or are a sore loser.

    Well that's the thing. The question is, can a person make an equally articulate and thoughtful/detailed opinion on philosophy IN PERSON. Not where you can sit and type and correct mistakes, you can take your time and think about it.

    Some of my friends write terribly yet articulate themselves beautifully. The opposite as well.
    I'm not sure what you're getting at here to be honest. I'm not trying to claim that being able to communicate in person isn't important? :dontknow:
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    (Original post by Unistudent77)
    I appreciate your contribution here

    It's like banging your head against a brick wall with these two posters, it really is. (btw, I don't mean that in an aggressive way. You seem like reasonable chaps - OH NO wait... you can't tell anything from an online persona - but we couldn't be conveying our points more clearly and you repeatedly are misinterpreting them....)

    Anyway, I'm away to bed. Might continue this discussion in the morning if I can find the strength
    (Original post by Unistudent77)
    PRSOM
    Concise and accurate imo.
    Thanks I'm not really sure what the miscommunication is (the irony!); I would have thought that most people would agree that posts online aren't devoid of personality/totally useless when it comes to seeing what people are like? I guess it's one half of the convo following a "people who only chase girls online are sad" line of thought and not realising what they've implied in their posts/how we're just pointing out that online communication is not inherently bad or useless!

    Enjoy your sleep!
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    (Original post by desdemonata)

    Isn't it also an extreme to be talking about people who "only" go and message girls online and use that to pass judgements on the social skills of everybody who communicates online? And remember, I'm not saying that you intended to do this, or even did this, but that that is how it came across to me. Which as someone who likes to discuss communication will agree is an important point, I hope.
    Not really, because there are lots of people that do this. Quite a lot of girls on TSR get horrible messages from creepy guys. Now, I wonder how many of those creepy guys say those things to girls in person? Probably none.

    I'm not passing judgement on people that communicate online. I'm passing judgement on people who prefer, or exclusively, communicate online.

    (Original post by desdemonata)
    I never said anything about posts giving you a precise idea of what someone is like, or a measure of their quality. But I think it's pretty undeniable that it gives you some ideas about what they are like, and opinions they hold.
    People online tend to be much more forward with their ideas than they are in person, because they can hide behind a screen ofcourse.

    But even so, somebodies views on political/religious/relationship issues doesn't really encapsulate their personality? And it's also of the assumption that people do indeed post deep stuff like that. What about the TSR staff who don't do any of that? How would you intepret their personalities?

    I've read thousands of peoples posts on here, from regular posters who I see here all the time. Still have absolutely no idea of what they're like in person, and I think it could be foolish to try and guess. This is also why I'm against the idea of TSR crushes, where people get infatuated with this fantasy idea of what a person is like based on their posts.


    (Original post by desdemonata)
    You can get clues as to whether someone is aggressive, or sarcastic, or makes inappropriate jokes, or if they like a good debate, or are a sore loser.
    Hmm, I dunno. Again, people can be really aggressive on here when in person, they probably wouldn't be? Also, people can choose what to react to. It's just too difficult to compare online to in person.
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    (Original post by TheArtofProtest)
    I could probably observe you for 10 minutes and learn more about you than I ever could by examining your post history.



    It only tells me what they want to tell me. It's like a carefully orchestrated attempt to portray oneself via their best angles and whilst we all want that, it is simply unrealistic and artificial. No different to if someone posts a flattering selfie when they are really minging in real life.

    This ^

    Real talk. Already repped you.
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    (Original post by TheArtofProtest)
    It only tells me what they want to tell me. It's like a carefully orchestrated attempt to portray oneself via their best angles and whilst we all want that, it is simply unrealistic and artificial. No different to if someone posts a flattering selfie when they are really minging in real life.

    I'm not saying that meetings cannot happen but it'll probably be along the lines of the football guys or the Math guys (and developing from there) rather than a simple boy-girl hookup.
    That's very cynical. Don't you think most people are too lazy to put that much care into an online persona, especially for a forum like TSR? Unlike a dating site, they're not on here (mostly??) to impress people. Not denying there are people who get heavily invested into TSR/post all the time, but most people aren't in that group.

    It's not impossible. Couples who met on TSR have children together, and I met my boyfriend on here (and no, we're not online only/been together a couple of weeks/are 12). That's what I mean about how, assuming both parties aren't invested in an online persona, meeting someone on TSR can just be something that happens and it's not a totally useless medium when it comes to figuring out if on a base level you'd get along with them.
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    I met my boyfriend on TSR. Why is it any different than Twitter tbh?
    Was it AG?
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    (Original post by MountKimbie)
    Not really, because there are lots of people that do this. Quite a lot of girls on TSR get horrible messages from creepy guys. Now, I wonder how many of those creepy guys say those things to girls in person? Probably none.

    I'm not passing judgement on people that communicate online. I'm passing judgement on people who prefer, or exclusively, communicate online.
    Yes, and I've been sent **** pics and had people tell me they masturbated to the photos I used to have public on here. And I still think most people aren't like that, it's just always the vocal minority that seems larger than it is because it shouts louder.

    And as I said, if that was the underlying argument you were making, that wasn't very clear.

    People online tend to be much more forward with their ideas than they are in person, because they can hide behind a screen of course.
    Isn't that another way of saying they're more honest about what they think? I.e. more themselves?

    But even so, somebodies views on political/religious/relationship issues doesn't really encapsulate their personality? And it's also of the assumption that people do indeed post deep stuff like that. What about the TSR staff who don't do any of that? How would you intepret their personalities?

    I've read thousands of peoples posts on here, from regular posters who I see here all the time. Still have absolutely no idea of what they're like in person, and I think it could be foolish to try and guess. This is also why I'm against the idea of TSR crushes, where people get infatuated with this fantasy idea of what a person is like based on their posts.
    Again, I'm not saying that you get an idea of absolutely everyone, or that every post has some sort of deep insight. I'm saying that posts in general can give you clues as to someone's personality... Hardly groundbreaking stuff, it's just how social interaction works, using those clues to form opinions about people.

    We're social creatures who use preconceived notions and bias to figure out where we fit in the world and where other people do. I don't believe that you can see someone posting congruent opinions regularly and not hold a single view on what they're like/what they think. Even if you were actively trying to form no opinions about people whatsoever, we just don't work that way. But to be honest I can't be bothered to dig up some reference for you on this... except my own anecdotal evidence about what I think about you after this exchange. Not saying it's accurate, not saying I have some deep insight into you, but I certainly have some notions attached to your username that weren't there before. And to deny that would be to try and claim I'm some sort of super-human who is capable of not interpreting information to make judgements.
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    (Original post by desdemonata)
    my own anecdotal evidence about what I think about you after this exchange. Not saying it's accurate, not saying I have some deep insight into you, but I certainly have some notions attached to your username that weren't there before. And to deny that would be to try and claim I'm some sort of super-human who is capable of not interpreting information to make judgements.
    Do tell me, I'd love to hear
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    (Original post by MountKimbie)
    Do tell me, I'd love to hear
    I think you overreach to support your conclusions, because while you like debates and engaging in healthy arguments, you also like winning arguments. I think you are a bit traditional and probably still prefer to do things like pay on the first date, and dismiss any of these newfangled rules like "wait 3 days before talking to them!" You also observe proper punctuation and grammar and so are also pretty well-educated, or at least well-read. I think you don't trust first impressions or what people want you to think of them and you like to try and explore what you think they're really like before you show them something of yourself.

    No wait, that last one's TheArtofProtest. Anyhow, satisfied?
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    (Original post by MountKimbie;[url="tel:63570741")
    63570741[/url]]You're taking what i've said out of context.

    To make it again, easier for you:

    I don't think it's sad that people message eachother online. I don't think it's sad to use technology to connect with other people. How else will I see my family across the other side of the world?

    What I do think is sad, is if thats ALL you do. If your only method of meeting other people is through an online medium, then yeah I think that's sad.

    Look carefully at the words ALL and only. Caps and bold for emphasis.
    That is not what you 6/7 reason rant was saying above but ok.

    If however that was what you were arguing previously (which i don't think you were) then i agree mate



    (Original post by TheArtofProtest;[url="tel:63570813")
    63570813[/url]]If you don't know how to read people, then you can't take anything from their posts.

    In order to read people, you need to go out there and interact with people and as most of TSR seems to be full of intelligent introverts, I doubt if many have this experience. An online persona isn't really what you will be like in real life and unless you're going to conduct a relationship online forever, then there is going to be a certain disconnection between how you present yourself in real life and how you conduct yourself online, which will make things very awkward.

    I could probably observe you for 10 mnutes and learn more about you than I ever could by examining your post history.



    It only tells me what they want to tell me. It's like a carefully orchestrated attempt to portray oneself via their best angles and whilst we all want that, it is simply unrealistic and artificial. No different to if someone posts a flattering selfie when they are really minging in real life.



    I'm not saying that meetings cannot happen but it'll probably be along the lines of the football guys or the Math guys (and developing from there) rather than a simple boy-girl hookup.
    Complete heresay. Nonsense.
    I read girl on here who i chatted to for several months very, very well. I saw through her facades, i knew the intricacies of her personality. I knew this by chatting to her real life friends and they commented on how i knew more about her than they did. Sorry but you are making humongous generalisations which cannot be backed up. Perhaps, perhaps true overall but you CANNOT apply it to all online conversations/relationships.

    This is not a dating site. I'm not trying to impress anyone.

    It could make things awkward, it might not. There will always be some awkwardness on a first encounter.
    (Original post by MountKimbie;[url="tel:63570835")
    63570835[/url]]Not really, because there are lots of people that do this. Quite a lot of girls on TSR get horrible messages from creepy guys. Now, I wonder how many of those creepy guys say those things to girls in person? Probably none.

    I'm not passing judgement on people that communicate online. I'm passing judgement on people who prefer, or exclusively, communicate online.



    People online tend to be much more forward with their ideas than they are in person, because they can hide behind a screen ofcourse.

    But even so, somebodies views on political/religious/relationship issues doesn't really encapsulate their personality? And it's also of the assumption that people do indeed post deep stuff like that. What about the TSR staff who don't do any of that? How would you intepret their personalities?

    I've read thousands of peoples posts on here, from regular posters who I see here all the time. Still have absolutely no idea of what they're like in person, and I think it could be foolish to try and guess. This is also why I'm against the idea of TSR crushes, where people get infatuated with this fantasy idea of what a person is like based on their posts.




    Hmm, I dunno. Again, people can be really aggressive on here when in person, they probably wouldn't be? Also, people can choose what to react to. It's just too difficult to compare online to in person.
    PMs are very differnent to posts, you obviously haven't PM'd extensively so how can you say all this?

    You are applying 'creepy guys' to everyone though. This isn't 'what do you think of creepy guys messaging girls' thread is it?
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    (Original post by desdemonata;[url="tel:63570955")
    63570955[/url]]I think you overreach to support your conclusions, because while you like debates and engaging in healthy arguments, you also like winning arguments. I think you are a bit traditional and probably still prefer to do things like pay on the first date, and dismiss any of these newfangled rules like "wait 3 days before talking to them!" You also observe proper punctuation and grammar and so are also pretty well-educated, or at least well-read. I think you don't trust first impressions or what people want you to think of them and you like to try and explore what you think they're really like before you show them something of yourself.

    No wait, that last one's TheArtofProtest. Anyhow, satisfied?
    V good summary. Only thing i'd expand on is when you said in the post before this one that he 'wanted this exchange'. The fact that he repeatedly misinterpreted what we were saying and applying gross generalisations to 'us', while simultaneously getting a rant in about use of social media, with the link to that video, would suggest he indeed 'wanted this exchange' and has an agenda here. Nothing we say will stop him seeing a 'couple creepy guys/trolls' and tarring everyone else with that brush...
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    (Original post by Unistudent77)
    V good summary. Only thing i'd expand on is when you said in the post before this one that he 'wanted this exchange'. The fact that he repeatedly misinterpreted what we were saying and applying gross generalisations to 'us', while simultaneously getting a rant in about use of social media, with the link to that video, would suggest he indeed 'wanted this exchange' and has an agenda here. Nothing we say will stop him seeing a 'couple creepy guys/trolls' and tarring everyone else with that brush...
    I did mention venting in an earlier post Someone did have an axe to grind, bit cheeky for it to be online communication and for the debate to be taking place on an online forum. Like complaining about boobs hanging out in a talk at a strippers convention :lol:
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    (Original post by desdemonata)
    I think you overreach to support your conclusions, because while you like debates and engaging in healthy arguments, you also like winning arguments. I think you are a bit traditional and probably still prefer to do things like pay on the first date, and dismiss any of these newfangled rules like "wait 3 days before talking to them!" You also observe proper punctuation and grammar and so are also pretty well-educated, or at least well-read. I think you don't trust first impressions or what people want you to think of them and you like to try and explore what you think they're really like before you show them something of yourself.

    No wait, that last one's TheArtofProtest. Anyhow, satisfied?
    You are totally right in pretty much everything you said. I'm ridiculously competitive. I have to win. Win arguements, win at games, win at sports. I've made an effort to ensure that my love for competition doesn't affect the overall quality of everybody elses experience though.

    Yeah, not sure how you worked that one out. I pay on first dates, and pretty much every date until I have a girlfriend, then if she insists I'd let her pay half or something. And yep, I don't play any games. I won't delay sending a text message (Yes, I still do text ) or wait 3 days or do anything like that. I don't mess around with kisses either (didn't even know that was a thing until a friend of mine asked me why I was being blunt because I only put 1 kiss?!)

    First impressions used to be really important. Now not so much. The first date with my ex was one of the best days of my life. Notice how I put ex.. :P

    It may have been the disdain I express toward social media as seeing me as traditional. I'm all for a strong woman who can hold her own. I love athletic sporty, competitive women with a bit of muscle. I'm not attracted to overly feminine girls, so I feel that's a non-traditional view I have. I think certain aspects of social media are great. I can see my family in Australia for free on Skype, keep in touch with friends that are far away, but in my life, that only takes up a few messages once in a blue moon.

    I'm also a massive hypocrit, I'm on FB pretty much every day. Addiction. But I managed to delete Snapchat/Twitter and I haven't missed them ever since.
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    (Original post by Unistudent77)
    That is not what you 6/7 reason rant was saying above but ok.

    If however that was what you were arguing previously (which i don't think you were) then i agree mate





    Complete heresay. Nonsense.
    I read girl on here who i chatted to for several months very, very well. I saw through her facades, i knew the intricacies of her personality. I knew this by chatting to her real life friends and they commented on how i knew more about her than they did. Sorry but you are making humongous generalisations which cannot be backed up. Perhaps, perhaps true overall but you CANNOT apply it to all online conversations/relationships.

    This is not a dating site. I'm not trying to impress anyone.

    It could make things awkward, it might not. There will always be some awkwardness on a first encounter.


    PMs are very differnent to posts, you obviously haven't PM'd extensively so how can you say all this?

    You are applying 'creepy guys' to everyone though. This isn't 'what do you think of creepy guys messaging girls' thread is it?
    No, there are a lot of people here I don't think are creepy.

    I don't PM extensively...why would I when I can talk to people in person?
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    (Original post by Unistudent77)
    V good summary. Only thing i'd expand on is when you said in the post before this one that he 'wanted this exchange'. The fact that he repeatedly misinterpreted what we were saying and applying gross generalisations to 'us', while simultaneously getting a rant in about use of social media, with the link to that video, would suggest he indeed 'wanted this exchange' and has an agenda here. Nothing we say will stop him seeing a 'couple creepy guys/trolls' and tarring everyone else with that brush...
    I don't feel like I've misinterpreted what you've said but okay.

    TSR flirting/relationships sort of directly relates to social media usage, does it not?

    I don't have any agenda here? I just expressed my opinion, which is exactly that, an opinion? I know what an opinion is, therefore, I don't think my opinion holds any more weight than yours does? It's just a discussion.

    I could send my PMs to my mother and have absolutely no explaining to do. I wonder how many other guys on this site could say the same

    (Note: lightheartedness)

    In all seriousness, there could be really nice guys on here that make a good companion and meet the love of their life through TSR. I'm not saying it's impossible, or that it should be frowned upon. That's not the point I'm making.
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    (Original post by MountKimbie)
    You are totally right in pretty much everything you said. I'm ridiculously competitive. I have to win. Win arguements, win at games, win at sports. I've made an effort to ensure that my love for competition doesn't affect the overall quality of everybody elses experience though.

    Yeah, not sure how you worked that one out. I pay on first dates, and pretty much every date until I have a girlfriend, then if she insists I'd let her pay half or something. And yep, I don't play any games. I won't delay sending a text message (Yes, I still do text ) or wait 3 days or do anything like that. I don't mess around with kisses either (didn't even know that was a thing until a friend of mine asked me why I was being blunt because I only put 1 kiss?!)

    First impressions used to be really important. Now not so much. The first date with my ex was one of the best days of my life. Notice how I put ex.. :P

    It may have been the disdain I express toward social media as seeing me as traditional. I'm all for a strong woman who can hold her own. I love athletic sporty, competitive women with a bit of muscle. I'm not attracted to overly feminine girls, so I feel that's a non-traditional view I have. I think certain aspects of social media are great. I can see my family in Australia for free on Skype, keep in touch with friends that are far away, but in my life, that only takes up a few messages once in a blue moon.

    I'm also a massive hypocrit, I'm on FB pretty much every day. Addiction. But I managed to delete Snapchat/Twitter and I haven't missed them ever since.
    Maybe the real conclusion to be drawn here is that I'm just really good at reading people?

    Aha but the difference between you and others is that you don't debase yourself into chasing girls online? :holmes: You still do things the right way and observe the proper dating procedure :pierre: Because you have self-respect and you respect women also :beard:

    That's all I've got. Probably shouldn't try and read too far into anything else or I'll end up the realm of a palm reader.

    I'm off to bed now, it's 3:43 a.m. here and I should really be asleep... You can concede this argument to me to further your personal growth if you like!
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    At least I'm not trying to get into their pants inappropriately.
    PRSOM ignore him bae x x
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    (Original post by MR.ANONYMOUS 786)
    Tbh. I know someone that got married to a person from Twitter because they joined the same group or something and then met up. It's kind of lame and idiotic. She's a bit of an idiot as well.

    At least on Tsr you meet people that want to achieve something in life and want to do well. Unless you're just here to bum around. I've personally not found love on this forum, yet. You never know, that's why I'm not going to say anything too far out.
    haha i love how you said yet :rofl:
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