Please help :) Watch
My teacher recently told me that I can come across rude and dismissive (although i DONT meant to hurt people's feelings), and i want to try and leave my sixthform with the best possible reputation for myself- but the thing which is holding me back is my self consciousness about my body, myself and the things that I do everyday, I'm just so self conscious about eberything. Please can you help me to try and get over this and give me any tips on how to stay positive through difficult situations. I also feel awkward around this one teacher as I sent her an embarrassing email 9 months ago which I geniunely meant to just come across as greatful and sweet but I read it back and I feel like I sound desperate and cringe- this is the same teacher I want to leave on awesome terms with as I really like her and she is lovely, and always used to like me much more than she does now (which I think is because I come accross kind of quiet and I just don't talk as much as I want to anymore) PLEASE HELP, I'd be so greatful for any advice
What I try to remember when I'm feeling self conscious is that I'm more like other people than I maybe think I am. Self-consciousness is all about feeling as though you're different in some way - usually a negative way, like feeling as though you look different or are inadequate - and that can make you stay quiet because you're afraid of putting yourself in a position where it feels as though everyone is noticing you and your flaws are exposed. It's important to remember that your flaws look much bigger to you than to anyone else. To most people you look just like another person, and no one is spending their time judging you or analysing your appearance or anything else about you. Many people are feeling just as self-conscious as you are and I bet that you look at those people and would wonder why on earth they were worrying so much about how they appeared to the outside world because to you they just seem normal. The more you focus on your similarities to others the less self-conscious you should feel (at least in my experience). Realise that you have a right to be amongst people and have opinions and speak your thoughts just as much as anyone else does.
After realising all that and trying to change the way you think about yourself in relation to the world it's a case of getting out there and working on making changes in your everyday life. Make an effort to say hello to somebody or initiate a conversation, smile at people, answer more questions in class, that kind of thing. It might help you to be among other quiet people so you can try and use your new skills with them, which might feel less intimidating than interacting with super confident people. See if there are any clubs you can join that seem as though they'll attract quieter people, or at least a quieter type of discussion (book clubs are good for this, or ask to volunteer in your school/sixth form's library).
I think being positive in difficult situations is another thing that comes about with practise and time. Being more confident should definitely help with that. You could also ask to speak to your school's counsellor as they might be able to talk through things with you and offer some advice in terms of changing your outlook and how you approach life.