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Can you use a bad experience to inspire you to do better? Watch

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    Without explaining the full story as it's a bit long, I had a hugely bad experience with this girl in January. It wasn't exactly my fault but being adult and mature about it, I was very understanding and sympathetic towards her.

    On the other hand, she was very immature and most of my friends were very upset with the way she acted towards me. I really liked her, but to be honest she was very rude towards me and not worth time of day.

    Being the bigger person, is it possible to get back at someone by being a much better person and taking there advice of "Looking after myself" by actually looking after other people and doing big things, like raise lots of money for charity and making sure other people feel the benefit. I think her advice is selfish, as that's not me. I get sometimes you have to look after yourself but you have to look after other people and those surrounding you, right?
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    Art is suffering
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Art is suffering
    Huh?
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    In answer to your question, you definitely can use bad experiences to inspire you to do better. Experiences that produce all sorts of emotions whether that be good/bad/meaningful/lacking in meaning all show you what you want more and less of in life. It must have been hurtful to have this girl not treat you the way you would've liked to be treated, but at least now you can use that to work out what you DO want from your next relationship. Try not to make the focus on 'getting your own back' or anything like that, just look at how you can develop yourself for your own good and do things that YOU enjoy doing. Hope that helped a little.


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    Hi,

    Thanks for the reply. It's definitely a bad experience, but in reflection through all the emotional things that happened, it will take a long time to get over it. For me I am a strong person, but this was difficult because I felt so helpless and she wouldn't let me help her. I guess I was partly responsible, and a few people have said I am being harsh on myself by saying that as I did nothing wrong. But let's put it this way, everyone that does something is responsible for the consequences right? Regardless if it was deemed wrong or not. (It's a long story by the way).

    I don't think that person is a bad person, and If I was ever put in a room with them. I'd be professional about it, especially if they came to talk to me. They are 3 years younger than me and rely heavily on there parents. I wouldn't want revenge but I do want to do a lot better at life, including making sure other people that I come across I do a lot better for them. Not what she told me to do and that was to look after myself, not her. Can't go wrong right?

    (Original post by tinkerbelle2)
    In answer to your question, you definitely can use bad experiences to inspire you to do better. Experiences that produce all sorts of emotions whether that be good/bad/meaningful/lacking in meaning all show you what you want more and less of in life. It must have been hurtful to have this girl not treat you the way you would've liked to be treated, but at least now you can use that to work out what you DO want from your next relationship. Try not to make the focus on 'getting your own back' or anything like that, just look at how you can develop yourself for your own good and do things that YOU enjoy doing. Hope that helped a little.

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    I'm not sure about the 'getting back at them' bit.

    When you get over them you won't care what they are up to

    But if you're asking if a bad relationship or a breakup can shape who you are for the better, then I guess it's possible. It has happened to me, ish.
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    yes its about mindset and how you react to situations. You cant choose what happens to you, but you can on how you react.


    Im not sure about getting back but theres a pharse the best form of revenge is to libe your life well.
 
 
 
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