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Want a child eventually but don't ever want to be pregnant :/ watch

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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    Well nowadays you can get an epidural and feel virtually nothing when giving birth.
    The previous nine months isn't a barrel of laughs though.

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    Your perspective might change when you're ready..?

    I had horrible period pains in my teens (would vomit with them) so went on the pill. Labour with my 1st was fine with gas & air/birth pool. If it's not then there are other options. I'd heard somewhere period pains = strong uterus for contractions or your pain threshold is higher so they're a good thing! ;-) & haven't been deterred from having more...

    You have 9 months of being pregnant to get your head around labour/childbirth & by the end I was quite looking forward to it as I wouldn't be pregnant anymore & it's relatively quick!

    I did start thinking about surrogacy for medical reasons when we were trying for a 2nd but lack of control was the major stumbling block - both practically & legally in this country at the moment.
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    I've not yet given birth myself but I can relate to what you're saying, I have a really low pain threshold and I hate pain! I get really upset, I'm a bit of a baby! Although oddly for me giving birth isn't something that scares me too much? And I am quite a big worrier! I've always had this terrifying idea that I can't have children?

    My Mum and many other women say although it's a pain nothing like anything you've ever experienced, it's such an amazing feeling. It's not a pain where something is wrong with you or you're ill or dying, it's a 'good' pain, and it's FOR something. You will be very much rewarded! If a natural birth isn't for you, that's okay! There are a whole host of options for you to consider. You might feel more comfortable with a birthing clinic than a hospital. When you've got the right support and care around you, I'm sure you'll be fine! If it's not something that is on the cards for you anytime soon, I'd just enjoy the present day and try and put it from your mind for now!


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    (Original post by tinkerbelle2)
    I've not yet given birth myself but I can relate to what you're saying, I have a really low pain threshold and I hate pain! I get really upset, I'm a bit of a baby! Although oddly for me giving birth isn't something that scares me too much? And I am quite a big worrier! I've always had this terrifying idea that I can't have children?

    My Mum and many other women say although it's a pain nothing like anything you've ever experienced, it's such an amazing feeling. It's not a pain where something is wrong with you or you're ill or dying, it's a 'good' pain, and it's FOR something. You will be very much rewarded! If a natural birth isn't for you, that's okay! There are a whole host of options for you to consider. You might feel more comfortable with a birthing clinic than a hospital. When you've got the right support and care around you, I'm sure you'll be fine! If it's not something that is on the cards for you anytime soon, I'd just enjoy the present day and try and put it from your mind for now!


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    Period cramps and stomach issues just make me panic though, I cant stand similar pain to that. Ive fainted 3 times from period cramps ha i just sort of panic and shut down. I can handle other types of pain I do athletics so do have a little mental strength just not the type for pregnancy. I see my body as more useful for sports than making a baby. Im not just moaning i hate everything about pregnancy from the feeling bloated to giving birth. I just want the baby at the end, i have thought about adoption but not sure. Shame they cant just take one of my eggs and grow a baby in a lab.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not like having your own though, that's why most people don't adopt they would rather go through the nightmare of pregnancy.
    iv done it 3 times and the pregnancy is nothing compared to labour
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    iv done it 3 times and the pregnancy is nothing compared to labour
    Didn't you have an epidural?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Didn't you have an epidural?
    ha! no!!! sorry but thats a wimps way out.
    if theres a reason for it such as needing a c-section or for medical purposes then fine but otherwise i dont agree with it
    and i have an incredibly low pain threshold!
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    ha! no!!! sorry but thats a wimps way out.
    if theres a reason for it such as needing a c-section or for medical purposes then fine but otherwise i dont agree with it
    and i have an incredibly low pain threshold!
    How come you dont agree, did you have no pain relief at all? Some people have nothing and just brave it out. I think it makes sense just to go for the option that involves the least pain as the pain doesnt benefit you (correct me if im wrong) its not like exercise where its 'no pain no gain'.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How come you dont agree, did you have no pain relief at all? Some people have nothing and just brave it out. I think it makes sense just to go for the option that involves the least pain as the pain doesnt benefit you (correct me if im wrong) its not like exercise where its 'no pain no gain'.
    because it screws alot of people up and leaves lasting effects which can go on for years, but this is dependant on the individual
    i had gas and air which worked for me
    well alot of the time the epidural doesnt work, sometimes only numbs half the body and leaves the other half normal and theres been cases where the women isnt even able to hold her baby due to the effects
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    (Original post by mojojojo101)
    Surely the answer to this is to make the adoption process much easier and less stressful for everyone involved.

    Personally I think people need to be a lot less prissy about which vagina a baby comes out of, a parent is more than juat a genetic donor.

    When you're older and want children, I'll be incredibly surprised if you still feel that way. It's completely natural to want to hold your baby in your arms as a newborn. To be the first care giver in that little persons life. It's completely natural and understandable to want to see your baby develop knowing that he or she is half you, and half the father.

    If you think the natural urge to want your own child is "prissy" then I don't really know what to say. Apart from, that'll change Unless you never want children, and in which case it's hard to understand what it must feel like to actually desire children, I imagine.

    And yes, obviously the answer is to make the adoption process easier, but it is there to ensure the safety of the child at the end of the day. If you force a child away from their biological mother, and then sign him off to a family who later neglect/ abuse him, imagine the trouble you'll be in.

    Although, I feel that the process of fostering isn't quite so stringent, and even goes the other way.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want a child someday but definitely don't want to be pregnant. I can't stand period pain, feeling sick and all that it makes me feel panicky like a nightmare. Everytime I get even mild period pain I swear I'm not going to put myself through pregnancy. I was at the gym earlier lifting weights and then went for a short run after. After the run I got uterine cramps even though I'm 2 weeks off being on a period. For some reason exercise has always triggered cramping, it can be anywhere from ovulation (2 weeks before a period) to the end of the period where I could get cramping if I exercise. I've had tests for it they came back normal. Often I'm ok after exercise but sometimes I get cramps I can usually tell before if I will.

    Anyway back on topic yea I just don't want to ever be pregnant but at the same time don't want to miss out on having a child of my own. I just wish I was a man they have a better life than women anyway.
    I relate to you so much its unbelievable

    but dw it will be different when your older and you will be prepared to go through whatever to have a child that you and your partner can love
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    When you're older and want children, I'll be incredibly surprised if you still feel that way. It's completely natural to want to hold your baby in your arms as a newborn. To be the first care giver in that little persons life. It's completely natural and understandable to want to see your baby develop knowing that he or she is half you, and half the father.

    If you think the natural urge to want your own child is "prissy" then I don't really know what to say. Apart from, that'll change Unless you never want children, and in which case it's hard to understand what it must feel like to actually desire children, I imagine.

    And yes, obviously the answer is to make the adoption process easier, but it is there to ensure the safety of the child at the end of the day. If you force a child away from their biological mother, and then sign him off to a family who later neglect/ abuse him, imagine the trouble you'll be in.

    Although, I feel that the process of fostering isn't quite so stringent, and even goes the other way.
    I am older actually im pushing 30
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am older actually im pushing 30
    That post was aimed at mojojojo101, who doesn't understand why people want to have their own children.
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    When you're older and want children, I'll be incredibly surprised if you still feel that way. It's completely natural to want to hold your baby in your arms as a newborn. To be the first care giver in that little persons life. It's completely natural and understandable to want to see your baby develop knowing that he or she is half you, and half the father.

    If you think the natural urge to want your own child is "prissy" then I don't really know what to say. Apart from, that'll change Unless you never want children, and in which case it's hard to understand what it must feel like to actually desire children, I imagine.

    And yes, obviously the answer is to make the adoption process easier, but it is there to ensure the safety of the child at the end of the day. If you force a child away from their biological mother, and then sign him off to a family who later neglect/ abuse him, imagine the trouble you'll be in.

    Although, I feel that the process of fostering isn't quite so stringent, and even goes the other way.
    I am 24 and I have never, not once, had the desire to have my 'own' child. To be a father, sure, that has crossed my mind but that the child in question is biologically 'mine' never struck me as particularly important. For the most part though you are right, I have no idea why people want to have children, in fact the whole thing just strikes me as, frankly, pretty selfish.

    I'm struggling a bit to put this quite how I would like so I'm just going to go for a big broad stroke... Being a parent/child is about more than genetics, I'd say it is literally the least important aspect of the whole thing.
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    (Original post by mojojojo101)
    I am 24 and I have never, not once, had the desire to have my 'own' child. To be a father, sure, that has crossed my mind but that the child in question is biologically 'mine' never struck me as particularly important. For the most part though you are right, I have no idea why people want to have children, in fact the whole thing just strikes me as, frankly, pretty selfish.

    I'm struggling a bit to put this quite how I would like so I'm just going to go for a big broad stroke... Being a parent/child is about more than genetics, I'd say it is literally the least important aspect of the whole thing.
    If you feel that having children is selfish, then you may as well extend that to your existence. Every day you are living selfishly.
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    (Original post by mojojojo101)
    I am 24 and I have never, not once, had the desire to have my 'own' child. To be a father, sure, that has crossed my mind but that the child in question is biologically 'mine' never struck me as particularly important. For the most part though you are right, I have no idea why people want to have children, in fact the whole thing just strikes me as, frankly, pretty selfish.

    I'm struggling a bit to put this quite how I would like so I'm just going to go for a big broad stroke... Being a parent/child is about more than genetics, I'd say it is literally the least important aspect of the whole thing.
    Explain this more dude I'm interested in hearing this point of view, that people seem selfish for having children is not a run of the mill opinion but the world wouldn't run as well if everyone thought the same. The open minded people won't hold your feelings about life against you.
 
 
 
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